secretk

I do think that something related to M was the catalyst combined with my salary raise. Be sure that the HR knows how much I get paid.

She hates being overruled and M and I obviously love to do that .

jediwands

I just hope the drama can be removed as swiftly as possible for everyone involved. Work environments can certainly be colorful but the drama/conflict in the one you're currently involved in has to suck. Hopefully a resolution happens very soon.

secretk

Thanks ! I hope so too! I obviously have lots of support from Germany which is really cool.

M overheard conversation between the other architect (not the jerk) and the boss. Apparently the CTO had called the architect and had told him that this unacceptable. The CTO had to prepare today for presentation tomorrow and trust me the last thing he needed was this.

As for my boss he might have wanted to smooth things over, but honestly I do not trust him. Honestly I was willing to forget Thursday afternoon, even Friday, but once I heard about the complaint there was no going back for me. He crossed the line there.

Btw he withdrew the complaint today. The manager sent me picture of this.

jediwands

Yeah, that's what I said up thread about his Cancer sign reacting very quickly/emotionally. It doesn't surprise me. I think he does want to try and work something out with you. He's an idiot, uses gender with you at times in an inappropriate way (although I think it's because he doesn't know how to "control" your reactions) but a part of me feels sorry for him. He is being controlled by the other two. He also reacts harshly because he doesn't have the emotional control. I don't think he's some devious man who's cruel. I think he's a third slightly misunderstood, a third idiot, and another third being controlled.

Hopefully a resolution comes soon. Who knows, maybe things needed to crash in order to provide a more comfortable office environment in the future.

secretk

That is true, but you know some people fear the smart people. I fear the stupid ones because they can be manipulated into doing a lot. And today this guy might your friend and tomorrow they might betray you. I don't need that kind of people in my life. I have never wanted them and I never will.

I am sure that deep down he is not a bad person, but he is dangerous in the sense that he does not make his own decisions. He listens to the HR and she is one hell of a bitch. You have no idea what she is doing with her man causing him drift with his own kid. She is evil enough.

So no I do not trust him. He is OK as long as he is alone, but it does not take him a lot to get under their spell and then I am the one with the drama and the consequences. No thank you. I tolerated this enough. It's his choice whether he will be manipulated or not.

I think that this is the difference between Te and Fe. You see every side and you are able to empathize with almost every one (there are special idiots like say Jodi Arias that obviously you would never empathize with). I am not like that. Logically I totally see your point, but I still do not empathize with him. I find him responsible for this. He is the one that is not smart enough and he is the one that allows to be manipulated.

Let's hope so!

jediwands

I emphasize but don't feel the blame should go away from him. He is responsible for his mistakes. I just feel if HR and the jerk were not directly influencing him the situation would be way different. It's too bad you, boss, and the higher ups couldn't sit down together and talk. No HR and no jerk around. I think the meeting would be interesting even if the boss tries to speak the same language as jerk and HR, it would become transparent once everything is out in the open.

secretk

I agree that the blame should not go away. I do not empathize with him though but in general I empathize only with kids and powerless people.

Yes, it would have been, but they are in the company and he lets them controlling him.

If he is alone he would never talk to me like that. Unless I criticize the jerk . Then he gets into defense mode.

jediwands

So how do you see this playing out? I guess the end of the week a decision will be made and it's also going to happen before that other meeting including M will happen, too?

secretk

I do not exclude the case where the team is split. If that happens we will see how it would go.

I mean imagine it from CTO's point of view. He gets information from two places that the leader or a team is a bad one. And not just because of personal issues, but because of technical issues and blocking. I would not be sure that I want to keep him as a boss just cause. I think that they will decide to use the architect and basically make him control my boss and the jerk and be their boss.

Jerry D

I hope this all works out for you Koni.

secretk

Thanks Jerry ! How is with your boss today?

One thing I should be really grateful for is that I had great support - both personal and work wise. I had all of you reading and tolerating me and basically be completely utter bored and even frustrated with this.

I had my mother and my friends supporting me. I had co-workers supporting me and even German higher ups. Honestly this is the best I could have gotten given my situation and reality.

jediwands

Like Jerry said, I hope it works out too.

jediwands

Jerry, how's work going today?

Jerry D

It was great with my boss today because I worked from home and I didn't hear from him all day!

His boss is coming into town to meet with him, which is always a bad thing because when his boss comes down on him, my boss then comes down on us, so I'm not looking forward to the rest of the week.

jediwands

Glad you worked from home today!

When is his boss coming to meet with him? I hope he has a good meeting and you don’t need to put up with his moods.

I feel very spoiled given my work situation. My boss is so down to earth chill I rarely see him and when I do he basically trusts me with everything and is never critical. I will walk by his office sometimes and hear him singing a song he loves, lol. I guess his one fault would be he trusts so much he does give us a ton of work to do. But we don’t have strict deadlines, just realistic deadlines. I like the work even if I’m never not working. There’s always something to do. The only time he’s not casual is when it’s grant time and we have to figure out our research budget. Sometimes he’s a bit high strung then but that’s really the only time.