~AnastasiaGrey~

Hey guys

Kassiek

I've always thought of living in Delaware or Rhode Island if I come back to the US. I just really like autumn and have gotten used to living near water. Who knows though. I've always felt like I could live in a small town in New England, though.

Lucresiare

I wanted to check the airing date of the next season and just found out it is postponed until 2017 ‘Switched At Birth’ Creator Lizzy Weiss Confirms Show Returns 2017 | Deadline

Kassiek

Well that sucks. :/ Why would they do that? It's like they're really trying to kill any love for the show left in anyone.

ollibear

If the executives at Freeform have ANY common sense, then they would be promoting the heck out of Switched at Birth right now. With Nyle Dimarco on Dancing With the Stars, and with him having huge full page articles in Time and People magazine (among others), where EVERYONE is talking about Deaf Talent and the whole world seems abuzz with it, it is NOT the time to pull the plug on the only TV series to feature Deaf Talent.

That's idiocy. Everything is in place to garner the show some attention, and Freeform pulls the plug now.

~AnastasiaGrey~

Cause they are morons

ollibear

If you are talking about the executives at Freeform, I think you are right.

~AnastasiaGrey~

lol

Kassiek

Ahhh low opinions of Freeform (and writers, at least for me). I think that might be the main core of our board. LOL.

Also, hello lovelies, I hope you had a wonderful holiday break! I'm back from cold South Korea. I was absolutely surprised by how quiet it is as a major city! I've never been somewhere so quiet! What has everyone else been up to?

Slayerfan714

Welcome back, Kassie!

South Korea. Wow. How was it? Other than quiet and cold?

I've been okay. Just in a bit of an uncomfortable situation right now. I've been doing this internship since Sept and it was offered as six months that could be renewed. Well, I don't want to renew. I am finding the people who run the organization to be pretentious and snotty, and they've made me cry quite a few times (though they don't know that). They know that I am not good at design projects, and yet, still give it to me. And the worst is instead of constructive criticism, I just get criticism.

I don't know. I get the feeling they don't like me much anyway and think I am some kind of airhead/ditz/idiot.

I am planning on emailing them (it's a virtual internship so everything is done via email anyway) this week and telling them that I can give them until the beginning of May, and then I can no longer continue. Of course I am worried that they'll be jerks about it. But they can't do anything to me. I'm not a college student getting credit. Really I just did it to put on my resume.

But then there's a part of me that feels guilty because we have a lot of writing retreats coming up and it's very busy right now and I feel like I'm leaving them in the lurch. But every time my phone rings to alert me that I have an email, I get this knot in my stomach. I dread the meetings we have over Skype. In the end, it's not worth it for a job I am not getting paid for.

Only I don't know how to approach it. If I say I have other commitments, it'll sound like BS (which it is....sort of). But I don't want to burn bridges and tell them how I really feel about them as I don't know who they know in the field I want to get into. It's such a small world that I don't want to piss anyone off and risk a potential job by being careless with my words. Although I suppose if I did it in a diplomatic way, it wouldn't be so bad.

I don't know. Any advice on how to broach the topic of my leaving?

Technically, I should be done by Friday, since I started in Sept and March would be six months.

Ugh. Best laid plans I suppose.

ETA: Oh, and the best part is since we're busy with these retreats, I get nonstop emails. The other day I swear I got eight emails in succession. My own job doesn't contact me that much. Geez.

ollibear

I'm not sure if this will help, but I'll throw it out there, in case it does:

This morning, I woke up early (5 AM) and realized I had lots of time before I had to take my dog to be groomed. (She had a 9:30 AM appointment at a brand new grooming salon, because the last time I bathed her, I somehow flooded the kitchen downstairs, too.)

Anyway, I woke up and played on my laptop for a bit, and then, I fell back asleep. The next thing I knew, I glanced at the clock and it was 9:36 AM.

I threw on some jeans, grabbed my dog, and rushed to the car. It was 10 AM by the time I arrived, and during the entire car trip there, I rehearsed what I would say to the owner of the salon.

I thought about the honest approach, just saying that I fell back asleep. That sounded lame to me. I thought about saying my alarm clock didn't go off. Not technically a lie, but since I hadn't set it either, it wasn't really the truth. I thought about an out-and-out lie, like saying I got stuck in traffic. Then, I imagined, "What if she asked me where I got stuck in traffic? What would I say?" I thought of a dozen other possibilities, before finally settling on just telling her the truth, no matter how lame it sounded.

As I walked into the salon, I braced myself for the barrage of questions about why I was late and the very real possibility that she might turn me and my dog away, especially since it was our first time ever visiting.

Do you know what happened?

I walked in and there was a line of several people all waiting patiently with their dogs. Everyone's dog was so cute and just looking at all of those sweet puppy faces instantly calmed me and put me in a good mood.

I waited for my turn, which took a few minutes because the people behind the counter were having difficulty finding a file that they needed. When it was my turn, no one asked me why I was late. No one even seemed to notice that I was late. Everyone was nice and kind and pleasant, and there was no stress at all.

I realized that, quite often, the things I stress over are no big deal to the people around me.

So my advice would be not to burn any bridges. You never know when you'll need a contact, and that's the reason you took the internship in the first place.

I would not tell anyone how I really feel about the position or the people, unless they bring it up. And even if they do ask, I would be honest, but I would keep what I say to a minimum. I would only give them constructive criticism, if I felt they were sincerely doing some soul searching and looking for it. (And that's unlikely, based on what you've shared.)

I would not feel guilty about leaving them in the lurch AT ALL. They are big people, not children. They are professionals. If they needed someone for longer than six months, then they should have made provisions for that. If they didn't, and if you truly are leaving them in the lurch, well, then it is a good learning experience for them. Natural consequences. And they need them. That's how they will grow and learn.

And speaking of growing and learning, if their criticism is just criticism, and there's nothing constructive about it, then they are not there to help you grow and learn at all. They invited you to join them for other purposes, and it really doesn't even matter what those purposes might be, at least not to you. It looks like the only thing you are destined to get out of this experience is possible contacts that might be helpful down the road and the knowledge that comes from doing the job you have been doing.

The fact that they keep asking you to design projects either means that they have some sort of belief in your ability or that they do not want to do it themselves and are desperate for someone (anyone) to whom they can give the task.

Are you sure you want to stick with this until May? I wouldn't give them one day over my six months. You are worth more than that.

As for what to say to them, I would simply say I have personal plans beginning on such and such date, and I will not be available after that. They really do not need to know any details whatsoever. I doubt that they will ask what your plans might be. If they do, you could say you are assisting a family member or taking a trip or you could just say that, at the moment, you aren't at liberty to say what your plans are.

I really would not worry about leaving them in the lurch, as long as you've met the terms of your agreement. That's business. Emotions don't really factor into it. It's different if you build a strong personal relationship with your co-workers, but without that, then I doubt they care.

Your first obligation is to you and your family, and after that, to your paying job. Don't let guilt keep you from remembering where your true loyalties should be. Bay did that on Switched at Birth with Tank, and I realize that I do it, too, sometimes. I'm going to make a conscious effort not to do it, though.

It's so easy to get caught up in trying to be everything to everybody, and I don't want to do that to my family, my friends, or my work. Those things come first, and that's plenty for one person to juggle.

Most important, though, is to follow your heart. Don't listen to anything I've said, unless it feels right to you.

You have great intuition, Alyssa. You'll know what's best to do!

I'm here, if you need to talk.

~AnastasiaGrey~

I wish they would just give Sab... But they won't

Kassiek

I was in a similar situation a few years ago only it wasn't a contract job. My supervisor would make me cry all the time and her verbal abuse was so bad that her boss would let me leave for an hour to compose myself after she would lose it. I didn't want to leave them with a whole bunch of things to do because they were in a really big transition time so I kept trying to stick it out. Finally, after talking with my father I realized that they are a business and I was treating the company like a person. I wouldn't screw over the place by leaving because they had other employees and they didn't really care about my mental/emotional well being because they never reprimanded my supervisor (mind you I didn't ever report her, but she did it in front of other people so they knew). You are never required to continue working at a place unless it is legal. You said your contract was up today (March), so that's as long as you have to work. If you didn't sign another contract, simply tell them that your contract is up and you had another opportunity come along (they don't need to know that's a lie). Thank them for their time and the opportunity they gave you to learn. Be polite, but you do not have to feel bad at all. I also would not burn any bridges! Don't say anything about their criticism or things like that. Take the higher road. I ended up having to tell HR about my terrible supervisor because she was up for a more senior position that would have had her in charge of more people, but I felt terrible about doing it. I was also lucky that HR was aware of the abuse I was suffering so they didn't make me go into details and promised me that she wouldn't ever get promoted. But try not to burn any bridges. It's tough and I was in a very special set of circumstances because of her attitude.

Remember, you are not obligated to stay somewhere that is treating you poorly and also a company is not a person. They will replace you without a second thought. You deserve to have a safe environment for your job and be able to grow from the criticism they give you!


As for S. Korea, it was good. There was a lot of history I wanted to see but couldn't because the people I was travelling with wanted to shop the entire time. :/ So of course that meant that I didn't get to see too much and I was a little annoyed because I'm not much of a shopper. I guess I'll just have to go again. I'm trying to get up the courage to start travelling alone. As a woman, I find this really hard to do. I do have a trip to Italy at the end of April that I will be going on alone, but it's to attend a conference so it's not quite a vacation. I guess it's a good place to get my feet wet, though.

Slayerfan714

Thanks Amy and Kassie!

I'll definitely take what you both said to heart and keep it in mind as I figure out what I want to say to them, how I want to say it, and when.

It does suck to be in an environment like that. I was working on these posters, and I thought they were pretty decent, but she told me she really just wanted a very simple poster on white paper. So, I did that, and that wasn't good enough. Her last email to me before someone else took over (and the way she handed it off to the next person felt so humiliating) was "Alyssa, please follow my verbatim instructions below. The same mistakes keep coming up and it's not getting fixed."

It just made my heart sink because by this point, I had done several iterations of the poster, and the way she phrased it made it sound like I was deliberately not following her instructions. I showed it to my husband as I was crying and he couldn't figure out what was wrong with them either.

There's a nice way of saying things to people that will help them - as Amy said - grow and learn, and then there's the second way, which comes off extremely flippant and annoyed that you have to correct someone AGAIN.

I come from a family of educators. Between the both of them, my parents have 60 years of teaching experience. Probably more because my dad went on to teach college after retiring from the BOE.

He taught the teaching fellows which is a program for people who want to be teachers but who haven't taken any education courses. A lot of people were coming in from other careers, and as part of his job, he would go and observe them. Now, I'm a very fast typist, so my dad would give me his observations to type up (his handwriting is awful) so I would see what he would write. I like that he always found a positive spin to put on it, and it never sounded condescending. He would list the things that he liked and then would offer suggestions for them for the things that they could improve upon.

That is constructive criticism. What I get from these individuals, is not.

But then again, I started to feel this back in I want to say October/November. There was a girl who was abroad for a semester participating in the internship and she had missed a fair amount of meetings. So when an email went around for the next meeting and she replied she wouldn't be there, they sent her a very nasty email and we were all on it. Now, I got their frustration. Yes, of course, one should learn to balance their time, and yes, as she was doing it for credit, it was counting as a class. But the way that they reprimanded her, and then to have the gall to say not to take the email tone as angry? Please. That was meant to be humiliating. It didn't have to be done that way. It should have been done privately IMO.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent! Hopefully I'll be done with this soon!

lavitaebella

Man, the company you work for does not sound like a good one! Sending the email to the whole group is not cool at all, it should have been done in private like you said. I really like what your dad did, though. I think constructive criticism is really good and very helpful, because I don't think being mean helps anyone.

I recently turned in a paper for my class and one of my professor's remarks was "a few small details in this paper makes me wonder if you proofread this before submitting it." He's a generally nice person, so I don't think he meant for those words to sting, but they did. I re-read things over several times before turning them in.

Anyway, I hope things get better for you soon. We're always here if you need to vent! I wouldn't feel guilty about leaving, as long as you're not violating any contracts, but like Amy said, I wouldn't burn any bridges, because you never know when you'll need a contact in the future. Also like Amy said (I second everything she wrote) you deserve way better than this internship, and I'm so sorry it isn't working out like you hoped.