Folie

I doubt he found closure, but I would say that actually voicing those feelings, even in his dream, probably was healthy.

Anla

And Sam is one of the very few people in the world Dean loves enough to really care about their opinion of him.

And, despite Sam's "Oh, no, of course I didn't mean any of that" response afterwards, I think what probably hurt Dean the most is that while Sam was worse under the ghost doctor's influence, it is the type of thing he'd already been saying about Dean being too obedient to their dad. And then, the next day in Scarecrow, Sam's all being the same again, going on about how he doesn't care what dad wants and that Dean shouldn't always listen to John. And then Sam leaves him when they're on a hunt and goes off on his own.

Dean always has an easier time lashing out at himself than Sammy.

Family relationships can be complicated under the best of circumstances, and the Winchesters are perhaps even more so. I don't think Dean will ever be able to fully move past his "do what Dad says" mentality. While I don't think Dean was ever as bad as Sam made him out to be (the fact that both Sam and John responded to Dean's "back off" when they had their fight in "Dead Man's Blood" strongly suggests that it wasn't the first time Dean told both of them that they needed to chill, that they were wrong, which wouldn't have happened if Dean blindly followed every single thing that John said. His objections were just different from Sam's), there is always going to be an instinctive part of Dean that thinks John knows best.

However, going against that part of Dean's mind, there's a whole lot of anger against John. The way John died, and especially the "secret" concerning Sam - that really got to Dean. And that's not mentioning all the burdens John put on Dean constantly as he grew up. No wonder Dean has issues with his father.

But he still loves his dad, and still wants his father to show up and save him when he's in danger. And he still misses his father.

It's a complicated mix of emotions, but I think it's pretty understandable. You can love someone, and still be angry with them. The fact that Dean did stand up for himself, did let out some of his anger about John in the dream - maybe that was a good outlet for some of his feelings? Not closure, necessarily, but still sometimes just getting things out can help.

Captain Oatsocute

Absolutely! And even before John died Dean wished he could have gone against what his Dad wanted from him. But it was easier to carry on because Dean didn't have dreams of college or an alternative future to run away too like Sam. All he wanted was his family together and following his every fathers orders was the only way he knew he could do that.

That is so sad. And I expect when it was just Dean and John on a hunt together it was John who saved Dean. Just like Dean's always the one who saves Sammy.

I think Dean will never get over those issues and especially now after all he's gone through and all that he's sacrificed for his family. Those issues are going to hurt even more and still say unresolved.

Folie

I don't think that is true. Not that I don't think Dean didn't want his family together, but I don't, not for one second believe, that him not having dreams was what made it easier.
In fact I think it was the other way around. I would say that he supressed and sacrificed his dreams and wants and ambitions in order to keep his family together. I would also claim this episode is quite a good example of that. How Dean blows up to the fact that he gave his all to this family and dealt with more than what was his share...
And I would assume that would include him having to give up on his dreams and subsitute those with his father's plans.

Captain Oatsocute

^ Yes you're right. Shapeshifter Dean did hint that Dean wanted the life Sam was having and I'm sure Dean didn't dream of being a hunter for the rest of his life and threw away any hopes of becoming anything else in order to be close to his Dad. But I think Dean more than anything just wanted to be normal. To have a normal life, a normal family, a normal home. His dreams were similar to Sam's in that way but more grounded in family. Even his dream about Lisa was about him having a normal family.

Folie

I don't disagree. But that is still a dream, a desire... And it's just as important as wanting to go to school or become a fireman or whatever.
And I for one I think it's very represantative of who Dean is. Simple yet noble, respectable and meanigful.

Anla

I agree that Dean had just as many dreams as Sam did. But he pushed them aside, buried them and chose not to go after them. Dean's dreams growing up were (when he'd allow himself to think about them) undoubtedly just as much for a "normal" home and life as Sam's were.

But the difference between the two brothers is that while Sam believed he could go after them, and did, Dean didn't. And I suspect for two reasons. One, Dean deep down doesn't believe he can have "normal". He can't trust it anymore - he had his normal life and it was ripped from him. The life he had afterwards, the one where he hunts with his family, that was more real to him. He could trust in his father's abilities to keep them safe, could trust in the skills John taught him and in his own ability to protect his little brother.
And Dean had the idea put in his head at such a young age that he had to be the protector for Sam and a helper for his father - that type of thinking is hard to overcome when it's had years and years to set in. While, as messed-up as their life growing-up might be, Sam in some ways had more of a sense of security than Dean did. Because Sam always had Dean there to take care of him and shelter him, so he had the security and foundation to have his dreams and go after them.

But it's not all that Dean's a trapped victim, either. He knows that what he does is important, that he helps save families from having to go through the horrors that his own did. Dean does take pride in being a hunter, in "saving people, hunting things".

Mei Zhuo

I think Dean scoffs at the whole 'normal' thing because he had that, but it was ripped from him. He won't admit it to anyone, but deep down, he would always want that whole normal thing, with his whole family. But since it's gone, all he has is their concept of reality, and hunting things. True, Sam is some ways has been more secure because he has Dean to back him up, Dean to guide and protect him

Anla

Isn't there some saying about wishing a person roots to ground them and wings to fly? Dean gave Sam both - his roots in his family with his big brother who would always be there to take care of him, and the security to fly and try his wings at college (while knowing that if he crashed and fell, Dean would be there for him).

While, much as I like John and believe in his love for both his sons, I don't believe he gave Dean quite that sense of unconditional security and support that Dean gave Sam.

Mei Zhuo

that's a nice description, Dean definitely gave Sam both, he gave Sam what Sam needed

and yeah, I think at some point even John acknowledged that he put too much responsibility on Dean; Dean wasn't given that same leeway or freedom as Sam

Anla

Yeah, John apologized in IMToD for having put so much responsibility on Dean (of course, he then proceeded to drop the whole "save Sam or kill him" thing on Dean in the next breath ).

Mei Zhuo

I know, it's like John just keeps giving responsibility after another to Dean (whether inadvertedly or not)

Folie

I guess that is exactly it. Dean did that for both Sam and John (which is what John acknoledged and also is probably why he continued putting all that on Dean again. Doesn't excuse it, but at least it would explain it.)

Mei Zhuo

true. I think that sort of sums it up, and Dean is that person for both Sam and John, so John also probably sometimes forget that Dean is just a kid

Anla

I think John probably realized in IMToD that he was still doing the exact thing he just apologized for, that he was still putting too much pressure on Dean. And he probably hated himself for it.

But he still felt he had to do it.

And that's John Winchester right there. These Winchester men can be complicated (and pretty emotionally messed-up).