I'm Brian Kinney, FFS!

Hmm, that's true. Brian does talk about it that way. Ohh, I think the trick that stole his hat is the scene I was thinking of when the camera pans up and the lights above his bed look super cool (side note). And ha, yes, Brian definitely feels like people are lucky to get to be sucking his ****. I don't think we ever see him go down on anyone besides Justin..and we only see that a couple of times.

daggerrose

Yes, that's what I meant. Not so much as showing him but letting him see it. If that makes sense? He didn't explain it away or act all weird about it. It was more of an unspoken thing.

As for the and Brian's tricks. I mean, I totally see him being all "people are lucky to suck my ****". And they are haha No but, it's true that we don't see him going down on anyone else and that is important. He's not going to give to just anyone.

I'm Brian Kinney, FFS!

Oh, right on. Yes, I agree. His face (or what we can see of it, cause he's backlit and it's very shadowy) does convey a lot - like, check it out, this pain's been killing me and I'm literally still wearing it. Not to mention he proved that Justin's in his thoughts daily just with that.

YAY return of spoiler tags! And yes. Justin's the only one he lets in... the only one he lets him, both sexually and emotionally.

I find it interesting though that in the first episode Brian is on drugs and he goes right down on Justin in the car... like, he's obviously very horny. But he's on drugs and super horny in plenty of other episodes...but it's just Sunshine's **** that he wants in his mouth??

Dlyn

Yes ~ it was one of those nonverbal scenes that I love~ lol. When Justin began to take Brian’s shirt off and found the scarf he kind of looks at Brian and Brian looks at him and then looks away. Justin knew he didn’t want to talk about it but it showed how traumatizing it was for Brian. They were really in this together both having gone through all of the stress from the bashing and I think they both felt that.

daggerrose

Yup that's exactly it

Haha But yes, it is very true that Justin is the only one that can Brian. From the beginning. And that means something.

lol I just choked at that. Which may or may not be the appropriate response. Aaaaaaanyways haha. I think he knew from right then that it was Justin, or at least that he was special.

Yes!! I love those beautiful moments between them

I'm Brian Kinney, FFS!

LOL. Yes, definitely meaningful. And yeah, I think Brian knows from very early on that Justin's special...afterall he sleeps with him a second time within the first three episodes, right? (and lies to everyone about it lol)

I still think about the fact that Brian's the only one Justin lets him. Frickin' fanfics get me thinking about this stuff, haha. Is it actually because Justin's more of a top, or because he reserves that part of himself (bottoming) for Brian, and he feels like he'd be unfaithful if he bottomed for someone else? Hmm. There's a point when Brian tells Justin not to get excited about a trick, because he's a fellow bottom... but Justin usually tops when he gets tricks?! I still don't get it. Haha.

Yes, they were totally both traumatized from it and going through it together. And Brian didn't know how to admit that, to anyone.

SojournHeart11

It's always the non-verbal exchanges that get to me, too. It's because they're not speaking with their minds, but with their hearts and souls. And they were aching for some closure in this moment.

Brian really gave Justin the level of intimacy ( not just physical) he needed to feel okay again, because leading up to that moment he felt so mentally alone & isolated from everyone and everything. He felt this way because no one really knew just how profoundly affected he is to be a shadow of his former self in the wake of the bashing. And then there's the element of fear lingering over the edge of subconsciousness due to that horrific event. Justin just needed some answers. But until he could get them, he had Brian there to act as that shoulder of support he needed.

Dlyn

Beautifully said You made me think of something I never thought of before... when you said Brian gave Justin the level of intimacy needed (emotional, not physical). Ironically that was part of what Brian needed to heal too. Healing not just from witnessing the bashing but from all of the huge walls he built up in life. I’m willing to bet that was the first time Brian made love to someone, not just ****ing. Wow~ the layers and layers of storytelling that Dan and Ron wrote for this show are amazing!

daggerrose

Hmmm. I don't see Justin as like a total top. Even though he tops other people. But that is interesting, about him sort of staying faithful for Brian. Lol maybe Brian knows that Justin is more of a bottom and that's why he said that? This is all very confusing.

This is so true

I'm Brian Kinney, FFS!

So true, they both needed physical and emotional intimacy to heal from that. Michael saw how messed up Brian was from it, but not even he could get through to him or make him feel better. That shot of Brian crying in the hospital and you just see Michael's hand on his shoulder says a lot. Like his best friend is there, but he can't really help him. He definitely can't break through the terrible stories Brian is telling himself.

And yes, I absolutely agree that was the first time Brian ever made love.

I have to say that it infuriates me when Jennifer reasserts Brian's terrible guilt by telling him, "It was because of you that my son was almost killed." Like, that had to be so gut destroying for Brian.

Well my theory was totally blown out of the water last night when I saw Justin bottoming for Connor. That **** felt almost more scandalous with him being away from Brian because of it, somehow.

daggerrose

I mean, of course Jennifer was angry and I don't think she meant what she said. But regardless, it was exactly what Brian was telling himself so to hear it said back to him and almost confirming it must have been horrible

Hmmm interesting. And it was a bit scandalous, I guess. I mean, even though Brian was doing the same. I'm sure he bottomed for Ethan too soo Maybe we're looking in too deep and he just tops/bottoms when he feels like it (with other people that is)

I'm Brian Kinney, FFS!

Isn't that why we're here? I still don't know who was the top with Justin/Ethan. I feel like they don't really show it? Maybe cause they know no one wants to see it.

Yeah, Jennifer was just terrified and had to direct her anger and fear somewhere. But it's so heartbreaking cause that's what Brian's been telling himself.

daggerrose

Okay true So, back to who tops and bottoms....haha. LOL no one wanted to see it I do think they more equally shared. Because

It really is. It's the opposite of what he needed to hear.

I'm Brian Kinney, FFS!

Ha! "That's all well and good, but back to tops and bottoms..." And HA Ethan's so full of himself though I could see him being a top, I guess?

And mhmm.

daggerrose

Exactly



Hmm yeah I mean, I guess so. Maybe he was just playing.