Berengaria

It's your birthday. Somebody gives you something you've ALWAYS wanted. What is it?

WIWL

If you were were given a large sum of money to give to a charity of your choice, which one would you donate to?

Ms Carolyn

ALWAYS wanted, huh? I guess that rules out a new iPod ... hmm ...

ALWAYS wanted? A horse.

Ms Carolyn

Heifer International (www.heifer.org). I think that their impact must be amazing.

Berengaria

That is an interesting site. Did you know the actor,Anthony Stewart Head (Giles from "Buffy" ) is very active in trying to save horses and donkeys. Here's his site about his charity work:

http://www.anthonyhead.org/




What's your favorite drink?

Ms Carolyn

I think that saving horses and donkeys is great. Hey! Let's send some of them to Heifer! There are grounds for some fusion here!

Diet Coke. Live on it. Bill always goes out and buys a case when he knows I'm coming to visit. My relationship with Diet Coke is like his with coffee. Don't get in either of our ways when we're groping for that first swallow in the morning.

Berengaria

Oh,I'm totally with you on that one,Ms. C...my Ben is the coffee drinker in the house. He's got a coffee bean grinder,a Krups coffee maker and an espresso machine...and he goes nowhere without an infusion from his "coffee laboratory" in the morning!



Okay,if there was one talent or ability that you don't have,that you wish you did,what would it be?

Ms Carolyn

Art! I would love to be able to draw and/or paint really well. I completely suck at it.

Berengaria

One last question,Ms.C.........who's in the hot seat next???


Congratulations for surviving...I bet it's not as easy to be grilled as it looks,is it?

Ms Carolyn

No, it most certainly is NOT! I have a newfound respect for tofu pups!

And funny you should ask -- next up in the hot seat is YOU, Ms. Berry!!

First question: How did you meet your husband, and when did you realize that he was the one?

Berengaria

(me,back in the day...you may notice I am not a "natural blond")

Gosh,that is a funny story (I hope!). I was in college and I had put together a deal with a bank to form a co-op of 10 students and then the bank would help us buy a $5000house for a down payment of $1000. So,at first I had a great group together...and then they moved away,flunked out,or otherwise weren't there when the time to buy the house arrived. Sooooo.....there I was one night at the college coffee house. There to listen to the folk music....but needing another "body" to sign on to buying this house with me. So,I saw Ben (a total stranger) sitting there and I walked up to him and said "Would you like to come live with me?" (Big smile.....first mine.....then his. ) As it happened,he was a poor student struggling to get by on his own. Living out of cans of food he would buy from Campbell's soup factory that came with no labels....were supposed to be an assortment but were mostly "Chow Mein". Anyhow,his share of buying the house would be $100..rent was $25 a month....when you moved out of the co-op you got your $100 back from whoever took your place. So,this seemed like a good deal to him and he agreed.
We all agreed to be like brothers and sisters and not "date" among the co-op crew. Ben and I stuck to this for 2 years,but over time we did become the "Mom and Pop" of the place (meaning we were the "responsible" type).....so finally,after awhile he asked me if I would go on a "real date" with him. He took me to a Eugene O'Neill play "Mourning Becomes Electra" and bought me Chinese food...made me try "lychee nuts" which I had never had before. That was pretty much it... I "liked" him a lot before he "liked" me,I think...so once he showed a romantic interest....I was a goner. He was 22 when we got married. I was 25.(There was some head shaking at the time...my mother thought he was "too young" for me) .
But I'm beginning to think this might work out....we celebrate our 33rd wedding Anniversary in August.

Ms Carolyn

Ohmygosh! You look just like my best friend Brenda did when we were in high school!

That's a GREAT story! And the two of you knew you could live together compatibly before you even dated. That's wonderful!

Okay, here's another question -- is there a moment that stands out in your mind that somehow influenced or determined some major change of thinking in the way you live your life?

Berengaria

Here's a story that even now seems unbelievable to me...but it's true. About 3 years ago I went to my first "Buffy" Con. I had only been watching the show for about 6 months and I liked it but nothing earth-shattering. So,I'm at the Con and they had an auction for charity. Big prize was to sit next to James Marsters at dinner.I don't know what made me want to do that but the bidding went up and up and I stayed in. Finally,even I dropped out. At that point the organizers said that since it was for such a good charity (paying off a sick child's hospital bill's) that he would donate his sit next to James if I would match the other woman's bid. So,wondering all the time if Ben was going to kill me* (since I had never done anything remotely like that),I said "Yup,I will."
So,here comes the life-changing part....At dinner,James just "held court",answered a million questions from the 6 or so of us near him but what came through loud and clear was that he loves what he does (acting and writing and performing music).It doesn't matter how long the hours are,or how he battles hunger to stay in the "body type" being a vampire on tv demands, or how uncertain he felt about getting onstage with his music (where he is far less sure than he is about his acting),he chooses the things that it makes him happy to do and he pursues that ferociously. At the end of the day,it wasn't so much what he said as it was his energy,enthusiasm and glee that re-connected me with the way I used to be and feel about the things I did. So,now,instead of only striving to be the best wife and Mom I can be,I also notice where my "bliss" is and I actively go for things that I can get enthused about(I've joined Moveon.org and been picketing at a Courthouse,I've been to meetings about local political issues,I've gone out to be an "extra" in a movie,and looks like I may be getting a job with a casting company,my "bliss" has also taken me(and family) to NYC to see Bill's play and in October,Ben and I are going to London to see James Marsters perform in a theatrical performance). It has,in some ways made me more self-centered,but I think my family is getting to see more of the "real me" than they ever had before....and though I'm pretty sure they think I am crazy,I think they like me just fine...and I like me better now too.



* Ben's reaction was to ask if it had made me happy,and when I said it did...he said he was glad I had "gone for it"...and I fell in love with him all over again!

Ms Carolyn

Lovely!

Okay, an easy one ... best movie you've seen this year?

Berengaria

Since I have a very short memory...I'll go with the one I saw today "Batman Begins". Although it was the kind of big action adventure that doesn't really move me,it was the best one of it's kind I can remember seeing....liked it better than The Aviator or the latest Star Wars one. I really prefer small movies about people and what they feel and what makes them tick. Sideways was the last movie like that I saw...but I didn't really like it that much because the lead characters were very unlikeable to me. So,I'm thinking 2005 hasn't been really impressive....though this summer really is being crammed with huge blockbuster movies...the trailers for War of the Worlds and Serenity both looked good.