[Moonauthor]

Originally Posted by ollibear (View Post) Me, too. If Bay does open her heart to him, and Angelo lets her down, it will be a difficult wound to heal.

And I could just see Adrianna in the background going I told you so.

[Slayerfan714]

I hope she wouldn't. Bay should be allowed to get to know Angelo without that fear in the back of her mind.

[Moonauthor]

^ True but I don't trust Adrianna very much.

[GrhmLz]

You mean grandma?! lol

Actually, while I'm supporting Angelo and his path on redemption (hopefully) - I totally get Adrianna's warnings. After everything she witnessed, I completely get her being the big protecitve 'mama/gramma' bear. She doesn't want to see her daughter and granddaughters get hurt. She tells it like it is, I actually respect her for that, even if the truth hurts. But if Angelo ever let Bay down in a serious way, I really don't think she'd ever be as so cruel to be like 'I don't you so' to her granddaughter like that.

[Slayerfan714]

I get her apprehension. She's stood by and watched how Regina became more of an alcoholic, how her problems were exascerbated by Angelo. Obviously she's become weary. I just wouldn't want her to be like "told you so," and not offer Bay, who is her granddaughter, a shoulder to cry on. Whether or not Bay would take it is another story.

Hopefully Angelo won't let Bay down though.

[Slayerfan714]

I get her apprehension. She's stood by and watched how Regina became more of an alcoholic, how her problems were exascerbated by Angelo. Obviously she's become weary. I just wouldn't want her to be like "told you so," and not offer Bay, who is her granddaughter, a shoulder to cry on. Whether or not Bay would take it is another story.

Hopefully Angelo won't let Bay down though.

[Moonauthor]

She could do both. Offer a shoulder and then remind her of the p0erils of not listening to your grandmother.

[Slayerfan714]

I'd rather she just be there for her.

This is just my opinion, but "I told you so" is just ridiculously juvenile. It serves no purpose. I mean, you know how you feel, the other person knows how you feel, does it really do anyone good in reminding the hurt party that you warned them about it? No. It makes the person look like they are more happy being right and deeply insensitive.

This isn't Bay getting arrested for street art and needing a lecture about it; this is Bay trying to build a relationship with her biological father. IMO, it's not something she needs to be lectured about. She has every right to get to know him, as does every person. Is he a saint for walking out? No. Is he a saint for beating his friend up? Absolutely not, but nobody is helping the situation by reminding Bay how 'bad' he is and how he will hurt her. I understand Regina and Adrianna have a past with him that is less than stellar, but this isn't about their past. It's about Bay's future with him.

I'm not saying you can't warn someone, but eventually, you let it go. And if the situation ends up bad, don't sit there and make the person feel even worse about it is all I'm saying. That's not being compassionate.

[Moonauthor]

Well I'm not saying it would be good for Adrianna to be all like "I told you so." I'm just saying that both could happen. She strikes me as someone who lets people know when she is right and they are wrong because she views it as a lesson of sorts.

[Slayerfan714]

No, I agree she does seem like that type of person. Which is why I hope they avoid it.

[Moonauthor]

Agreed. Your right though there is nothing wrong with warning someone and the dropping it and letting that person make their own judgement call. Bay tried to do that with Daphne/Simone and Toby/Simone. She put the warning out there but ultimately knew it was not her choice to make. I wish Adrianna was like that with Angelo but NNNNOOOOO she's gotta haul off and call the cops.

[americanamuchacha020]

Originally Posted by Moonauthor (View Post) Agreed. Your right though there is nothing wrong with warning someone and the dropping it and letting that person make their own judgement call. Bay tried to do that with Daphne/Simone and Toby/Simone. She put the warning out there but ultimately knew it was not her choice to make. I wish Adrianna was like that with Angelo but NNNNOOOOO she's gotta haul off and call the cops.

She would be that type to tell Bay she was right.. Just like Bay warned Daphne and Toby about Simone, they overlooked Bay's warning and had to find out the hard way.

[Moonauthor]

I just hope that bay isn't finding out the hard way with Angelo....

[GrhmLz]

Lol, I don't know, I agree about the insensitivty of an 'I told you so' stance - it doesn't serve any purpose in the end when someone is hurt. The right thing to do would to try to be there for them if they were feeling pain, to comfort them and help them get through a rough patch.

But ... I get the other side. Sometimes, there are other factors, like if a person continues to make very bad judgement calls, I do understand people getting frustrated or fed up and taking on an 'I told you so' kind of attitude but if it got to that point, I would probably just keep my distance and advise that they go to someone else with the problems.

In this case; however, we are dealing with a teenager, she's not a full grown adult where you can just step back completely and say 'live and learn.' Even then, if you're a parent, or close friend/relative of some kind, that's even hard to do. The instinct is going to be there to protect this young girl and I think that is really Adrianna's intention. I really have nothing against her to be honest, nor the way she comes across. Her style is just blunt and stern but that's me.

I get that Angelo is Bay's father, and I want him to prove people wrong and show that he can change, for Bay (for Daphne too), but at the same time, I don't think Adrianna or Regina would be much of a grandmother or mother if they just completely stood back without reservations, when they have knowlegde of Angelo's past and his tendencies. I expect them to have some objections, to act on them, even if Bay doesn't agree.

[Slayerfan714]

Oh, no, I agree that if someone makes the same mistake, it gets frustrating and of course you want to tell them "I told you so."

I'm not arguing the merits of someone needing to be lectured, and I understand Bay as a young adult doesn't have the same coping mechanism that an adult would have, so you're right that you can't just step back and say "live and learn."

And I agree that nobody should stand by and let Bay get hurt; I just don't want them to treat Bay's decision to get to know Angelo as like, well, that's what you get kind of attitude.

That's really all I meant.