[sunnykerr]

So much self-hatred at that age. I wish I could go back in time and convince myself of how pointless it all was.

[There You'll Be]

^ that is so true.

I'd give anything to go back and realize just that-that all of the stupid things I worried about didn't turn out to matter.

[sunnykerr]

On the other hand, I don't like regrets. There's no point in wishing I could change the past. The past made me who I am today, and I'm fine with who I am today. So, you know, it was worth it in the end.

[There You'll Be]

I've let go of a lot of my past, that bothered me, but I wouldn't go back unless I had the knowledge I have now.

[sunnykerr]

In a week, I'll be in Connecticut with my mother and step-father. And I was just reminded today that I'll spend those four days adapting to their pace. Well, more like my mother's pace. And I'm so NOT used to doing things at anyone's pace but my own, you know?

[There You'll Be]

That is hard to manage. Wishing you a more smooth trip, this time. Do you think you'll have time alone to do things at your own pace?

Are you gone already?

I don't think I'd even do well with a roommate.

[sunnykerr]

I'm not gone yet, no. Leaving early tomorrow morning, though.

I'm sure there will be time I'll be by myself. My mother gets exhausted quickly and so she tends to go back to the hotel room in the middle of things.

But she's getting clingy with age. Clingy and controlling without meaning to be controlling.

We'll see.

[There You'll Be]

Your mom is getting clingy, and mine is pushing me away-I think it's their own way of feeling safe?

I hope that you didn't get too anxious about what may happen, and that things worked out well for you, so you got to have some alone time.

[reason to believe]

Ugh, I wish I really lived alone.

[sunnykerr]

Well, I'm back home now. So I need to let it go, since I'm going to my mother's next weekend to babysit my nephew.

[There You'll Be]

I hope it will be really fun over there.

I remember at my grandparents. I was always getting into trouble playing with my nana's Avon collectables. Like, the phone, but it was filled with perfume.

Will your mom move a lot of stuff up to higher shelves?

[sunnykerr]

My mother's house is pretty spartan, Kim. She's not exactly a minimalist, but she doesn't have a whole lot of stuff. The big challenge will be to keep the shrimp's teeny tiny hands away from remotes.

Well, that and he's got a bit of separation anxiety these days. It will be the first step he sleeps away from both his parents... Actually, that's not true. Shortly after he was born, his mother was hospitalized for a couple of days for some liver issues following the birth. My mother and aunt took care of him for maybe 48 hours. But I doubt he remembers that. He was really tiny back then.

I'm looking forward to it but, being single and used to that, I have a feeling it'll be something of a drain on my energy.

[There You'll Be]

you'll definitely have to set the remotes down somewhere really tall.

Maybe being in a semi-new place will keep him occupied so he doesn't get too terribly upset. I imagine helping both you and your mom there will help comfort him. Mostly you. I get the feeling you're his person, aside from his parents. Just my impression of course, I could clearly be very wrong.

I imagine you're right-it will possibly be quiet draining for you. Will you get time alone at home Sunday?

[sunnykerr]

At this point, my nephew is very much all about Mommy and Daddy and no one else. It's not like he doesn't like me, or anything like that. But I think it's a security/comfort issue. He's very, very dependent on his parents.

But it's been in a while since I've seen him, so who knows...

I just remembered that the last time I saw him was Father's Day and, when we left my dad, he pitched a fit because he didn't realize that he was also leaving with his parents.

I'm sure I'll have time alone on Sunday. Little man's bedtime is 8 o'clock, so he'll be back in his own bed at that time.

[There You'll Be]

I hope you guys are having fun.

Does he have familiar toys there?