Everyday Life & Interests - GLBT #156: Homosexuality is not a choice, Homophobia is. - Page 5

Ron_Beckett · 11-24-2016, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnykerr (View Post)

A TV show cannot give you what you do not already have.

I'm glad Supergirl inspired you, but everyone's truth has to come out some time.

Yeah I understand that.

My whole life I've questioned it. I honestly don't think I would have questioned if there wasn't some truth to it or if I was straight.

For so long I just wasn't ready to accept it but then watching the storyline on Supergirl it was like one of those moments "wow this is my story" and "maybe it's okay to come out".

Supergirl gave me a sense of liberation that I'd never experienced and it finally opened me up to a truth I always knew but wasn't ready to face.

**sunnykerr** · 11-24-2016, 04:58 PM

I get that. Supergirl is your My So-Called Life.

It's always nice when we see something outside of ourselves that is like ourselves.

That sense of validation is why representation is essential.

Ron_Beckett · 11-25-2016, 07:28 AM

Couldn't agree more

I have not felt this liberated in a long time (if ever really). Even when I defined myself as a-sexual it never felt right, deep down it felt like I was just denying the inevitable.

Now though all that sense of weight is gone and I finally feel like I've been released from my constraints.

If I was straight I would have all ready felt that, I wouldn't have questioned it my whole life (that's how I figure).

And seriously- gay vibes- how did people around me, even those from HS, know?

**sunnykerr** · 11-26-2016, 09:59 AM

Like I said, I have no idea how some people come to feel like they know instinctively that someone else is gay.

I have to imagine a lot of it is guesswork, though. Because "gay" can mean a lot of things. There is a whole spectrum between 100% straight and 100% gay. And if anyone can look at someone they don't know very well and decide that this person is that way or this way... then they're making assumptions.

Camibra · 12-01-2016, 06:59 AM

I think that some people can just read body language better than others to some degree then there are those who assume using stereotypes that they know all about you due to your choice of music or clothing etc yet are dead wrong.

**sunnykerr** · 12-01-2016, 05:47 PM

I know some people are better at reading body language. For sure. I'm just not sure body language can tell you about someone's sexual orientation.

Camibra · 12-02-2016, 06:56 AM

For sure! I have had that with people assuming I am gay yet I have never been attracted to anyone of my birth gender.

But some people can read subtle physical flaws and assume such things. For example the accountant at my work pointed out that a guy at my workplace walks like a girl. Nobody else noticed that now we all notice it, do we assume he is gay or trans? Nope, not that it matters tbh.

Ron_Beckett · 12-03-2016, 06:55 AM

I'm just glad it's all out in the open now. For the most part and people are okay with it.

I mean I kind of always figured it was there but I never allowed it in because of my dad and his hetero ways. He still doesn't know and if he suspects he believes it's only because of the social influences (ie tv, etc). He won't accept people are like that. And he's never known the personal struggle I've gone through.

My friends want me to tell him but I'm not at that point yet. Not sure when I'll ever be but at least for now I'm happy that it's finally out. I'm finally free and I no longer feel like I'm carrying around a burden anymore.

reason to believe · 12-03-2016, 09:29 AM

That's a great feeling, nothing like a burden off your shoulders! Just wondering how your dad can be kept in the dark still tho, if everyone else you know, knows. Now you can be free to find the right companion for yourself!

Spoiler:

**sunnykerr** · 12-03-2016, 02:39 PM

Something to consider: Not everyone is one specific thing exactly, straight, gay or bi.

For instance, you have demi-sexuals, who do not often feel sexual attraction but are more likely to feel it towards people with whom they have a deep, emotional bond. Maybe they're more gay than straight, or maybe their attraction isn't based on gender at all.

Ron_Beckett · 12-04-2016, 10:05 AM

So I came out to my dad yesterday. It was hard to tell him more than anyone else whom I told even my mom.

But his reaction surprised me. He took it in stride and accepted it. Saying he kind of figured since my days of watching Degrassi which was way back when.

He admitted his hesitation with the Alex storyline on 'Supergirl' but understood to an extent once I explained my side of it to him.

And then he told me nothing has changed with me or our relationship.

We were able to joke about it after because he was saying how he thought Chyler's role as Lexi Grey on 'Greys Anatomy' was cute and I told him yeah I've always thought so too and now I could finally admit it. He just laughed.

It's all gonna be okay now I think. An adjustment to be sure but his reaction wasn't as bad as I thought.

I'm still me, I just happen to be gay.

**sunnykerr** · 12-04-2016, 03:54 PM

Wow, congratulations on taking that leap with him. I know how much you didn't necessarily want to do that for fear of his reaction, so that must have taken some courage.

I'm less shocked at his reaction than you, even allowing for the fact that you know him and I don't. Parents have an odd way of surprising us sometimes, especially when it comes to the "big" stuff like this.

Either way, I'm just really pleased that he was able to live up to the occasion.

baelfire24 · 12-04-2016, 10:17 PM

Ron_Beckett:

Ron_Beckett · 12-05-2016, 04:04 PM

Thanks guys.

It's a relief now that I can just be me. No more hiding.


Fan Forum > General Discussion > Everyday Life & Interests > GLBT #156: Homosexuality is not a choice, Homophobia is.