Everyday Life & Interests - Anxiety Support #7 ~ You Don't Have to Control Your Thoughts. You Just Have to Stop Them Controlling You. - Page 5

**sunnykerr** · 06-22-2019, 09:49 AM

If being brave means acting even when you're afraid, I think there's definitely room to be proud when you go out to a social situation when that gives you anxiety.

There You'll Be · 06-22-2019, 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnykerr (View Post)

Forgiving doesn't always mean "it's okay," though. For me, it just means "it was not okay, but my peace of mind requires that I put this whole thing behind me. I chose to move on."

Some years ago, a friendship that meant a lot to me (mostly by virtue of my not having a whole lot of friends and this person making me feel like maybe she'd be in my life for the long haul) ended pretty badly. I was distraught. I made the decision to put it behind me. It was painful. It wasn't simple. I was not graceful -- at all -- in putting it behind me.

And just today, while reflecting over the whole time of our friendship, I realized something. We weren't good friends to begin with. I invested emotionally a lot in this friendship because I didn't have many friends at the time. But that was on me.

So it's taken several years, but I'm genuinely over it. And pretty darn relieved that I didn't waste time feeding the drama of how that friendship ended.

I don't feel as if I deserve forgiveness for many of the things I've done to people, out of fear that I was getting too close. That came, too, from believing we were close, and that scared me. I selfishly tore apart friendship. Utter selfishness. I caused others to pay for my fears.

I do not take for granted any forgiveness.

Quote:

I receive accompaniment from an organisation because I can't live my life well caused by my mental illnesses. The organisation had a BBQ this evening. I went there but staying there gave me alot of anxiety because I know nobody. I have social phobia so making contact with strangers is very hard for me. Tension went sky high and when it's sky high I need to smoke. Problem was I forgot my cigarettes! So instead I focused on the food. I could manage to stay there for a small 2 hours and then I left.

I wanted to walk along the entire boulevard to get the tension out of my body, but the other half of the boulevard was in renovation.
Now I'm home, trying to relax while being here. It's past 10pm here, so i will go to bed soon. Hopefully the tension won't start again in bed!

I think that is an amazing amount of time. Until I got used to more time, I would show up, then leave. I took my own transportation, just so I could. You earned that pride. It's a big win.

Clover1983 · 06-23-2019, 02:38 AM

Yesterday I went to Last Man Standing. This is an action where people stand on a pole in the middle of a lake, to ask awareness for mental illnesses.
Going to new places and meeting new people scares me, but this time it went so well! Because there are more people who suffer the same. I had such a good time and we had so much fun!!

https://www.doemeemetmind.nl/eveneme...-standing-2019

The site is in Dutch but I have translate the important info for you by Google translate:

Quote:

What is Last Man Standing?
Last Man Standing is a unique event where you, together with hundreds of others, stand on a pole in the water. The intention is that you stay on your pole for as long as possible (max. 6 hours). This year the third edition of Last Man Standing takes place at Telstar Surfclub in Ermelo, The Netherlands.

The target
Together we want to raise the highest possible amount to prevent psychological problems among young people. This is desperately needed, because a whole generation is in danger of growing up psychologically unhealthily due to, among other things, school pressure and psychological problems. With this amount we can provide information, help and advice, promote openness and offer the MIND Young Academy in schools.

You will not only fight for this important goal, it will also be a special challenge that you will not soon forget! Together with hundreds of others you stand on a pole, you listen to music and you are encouraged by your family, friends and all people on the side.

**sunnykerr** · 06-23-2019, 09:27 AM

^ I'm so happy for you. That sounds like you had a lot of fun.

Kim, forgiveness isn't about whether anyone deserves it. (Again, according to me anyway.) It's about whether a person or an event has the power to weigh you down and keep you in the past. It's about choosing to move on inasmuch as that is in your power.

You may feel that you don't deserve forgiveness. At that point, though, it's not about whether another person ought to forgive you. Because they may have or they haven't. But if you feel like you don't deserve it, it's about you needing to forgive yourself.

We all do terrible things. And we can't necessarily ever make up for them either. But you can choose to forgive your past self for reacting in a way you wish she hadn't.

reason to believe · 06-25-2019, 11:37 AM

I hate knowing about meetings at work I have to have about my job descriptions where I need to drag a union rep with me! Triggers me back when a bully boss in 2016 made me go to an HR meeting with a union rep about the same sort of thing...

**sunnykerr** · 06-25-2019, 03:24 PM

Good on you for developing coping techniques for those annoying work situations none of us can avoid.

There You'll Be · 06-25-2019, 06:40 PM

That makes really good sense to me, Sunny. That helps.

Leanne, I'm glad you've found some ways to cope, too.

Sunny, who are you doing?

**sunnykerr** · 06-26-2019, 03:44 PM

I'm doing okay, Kim.

I sorta screwed myself up, physically, and it's been a little hard to concentrate and stay focused, which tends to give me anxiety, because there's so much to do.

But I'm trying to breathe through it.

**Meliana** · 06-30-2019, 12:49 PM

I'm sorry to hear that, Sunny I hope things improve soon.

I'm trying to not feel anxious about the change of leadership in the Conservative party, as both candidates are making promises they can't possibly enact, and are living in some kind of cloud cuckoo land. In a way I'm glad I'm not a member, and don't have the the prospect of having to choose one of them.

Anyway, trying to ignore the whole thing....

What was the conclusion of the meeting, Leanne? Did the Union rep back you up?

reason to believe · 06-30-2019, 01:30 PM

Yeah, she backed me up, but my co-worker indicated at the end that if she notices something that needs to be done she will do it, which to me sounds like she will do things in my job description still if I can’t get everything done in one day in a week.

I think it’s no win. If no job postings come up to replace it, I think I can manage another year but she is someone I cannot work with long term.

I know other teacher librarians are not like her.

**sunnykerr** · 07-01-2019, 10:42 AM

Yeesh. Sounds to me like nobody can win in that situation.

There You'll Be · 07-06-2019, 09:46 AM

I'm just sitting here watching most of the US ignore/not notice, that this country is about 2 steps from becoming a dictatorship. I'm wondering how people could not notice-or care. It's going to be too late by the time they know. His family will be in the line of succession, so, yay for them?

Glad I'm getting up there in years, because I don't want to live in that kind of country. I am completely panicked though. Waiting for migrants and minorities to start coming up mysteriously missing. Then the old and sick. Makes me want to throw up with anxiety.

Sunny, Claire, and Leanne, I hope things are settling down for you.

Claire, I completely get that.

Leanne, are you glad it's done for now, and you can figure out how to deal with it more when next year comes around?

Sunny, are you physically feeling better?

**sunnykerr** · 07-06-2019, 05:34 PM

Physically, I'm doing as good as can be in this humid heat. Funny how there isn't room for much else when the mind is focused on... trying to focus.

reason to believe · 07-06-2019, 09:24 PM

Kim, I’m glad I get a two month break to prepare myself... I mean I guess I know what to expect from her this year rather than last fall, finding out what I’ve walked into.

**sunnykerr** · 07-07-2019, 09:43 AM

You also have two months to regroup, relax and generally rejuvenate your energy.


Fan Forum > General Discussion > Everyday Life & Interests > Anxiety Support #7 ~ You Don't Have to Control Your Thoughts. You Just Have to Stop Them Controlling You.