[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Yeah true . Then again as I was pretty young I don't remember what I was angry about. I remember being compelled to read psychology books as the age of 11/12 to find answers for my behavior though. I do remember that some of the stuff that were happening could have been actually explained with some of my environment. My environment has never been extremely unhealthy. There were some slight issues, but definitely not something big. Problem was that I could get affected by my environment a lot more compared to regular young children. It seems that I would pick up some stuff on subconscious level that could get me provoked. For example I did not need to be more than 4/5 to know that my grandmother prefers my cousin over me. I was not more than 4/5 to know that my parents have some issues and my grandmother had suggested my mother divorce. I was not more than 4/5 to know that my mother had some serious issues with her dad. I was also around that age when I picked up this bad energy from a female relative that was causing issues for my parents. I don't think that it's their fault, nor I think that it was something serious. I think that the fact that I was picking up on that stuff and could grasp what was going on did affect me in a way because I knew for some reason what was going on, but I was not mature enough (because of my age) to know how to handle the stuff I knew. I remember that I would see my mother crying after fights with my dad I would just go to her, hug her and tell her that if she wants to leave my dad I will support her. I was 6 at that time. I don't think that usually 6 years old kids do stuff like that. Sometimes I feel like I experienced some issues just because I was not at always at the normal maturity level for my age. For some stuff I was normal, for others I was a bit advanced and did not know what to do with this or how to express it. I remember that I also had fears about almost everything. Like it was not normal for my age to be that afraid of stuff. It's why I never actually hurt myself seriously as a kid because I would just know that getting high is a risk for me to fall down and it was something I did not want to happen to me. My father definitely believed that I had a lot more fears than normal and that this fear caused delay in me learning how to walk. It's like I was afraid to do it.

I take that back. A picture is forming. Could write a book. Your environment did play a really large part. You didn’t have a miserable time but there are many elements here that contributed to your anger, not wanting to marry, not fully trusting people, etc. You know this.

Yeah definitely could be more than one . No because this kind of ended after my teen years. Then I did not have any issues until maybe 1/2 years ago so I kind of think that stress at work could affect me a bit when it comes to this as well. But yeah at that time I did not have anger issues actually. I of course also did not have that mush social interaction so I might not have been in the situation to be upset with something, But yeah we did not explore this back then as at that point I did not have issues with it.

What happened a half a year ago? You mean when the big changes happened at your work? How did you find yourself reacting to it?

It’s clear there are triggers and patterns here.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) I take that back. A picture is forming. Could write a book. Your environment did play a really large part. You didn’t have a miserable time but there are many elements here that contributed to your anger, not wanting to marry, not fully trusting people, etc. You know this.

. I had issues in the past with this to be honest. I obviously had two options:

1. Decide that my environment plays a part. This in my head meant blaming my parents and family for this and I did not want to do that. I mean my parents love me. They did the best for me and I would feel a total jerk if I start blaming them for my issues.
2. Decide that my environment does not play a role. This meant in my head that there is something completely wrong with me.

I did not like both options so decided to not explore too much and avoid the topic as much as possible. As it's not resolved fully obviously it sits in the back of my mind .

What happened a half a year ago? You mean when the big changes happened at your work? How did you find yourself reacting to it?

Yeah I started feeling anger because I think that I reached my limit when it came to the jerk. I had tolerated him for 9 years and I think at some point I internally said "I had enough" and this resulted in me being extremely pissed at the people that allowed this jerk to act like that towards me and a lot of other people in the team.

It’s clear there are triggers and patterns here.

Most probably I did not follow my advise of letting my anger bits by bits in small increments when it comes to some people, but let it stay in me for long periods of time and I think that even now (despite of them being gone) I still have not resolved my anger fully.

You remember a former co-worker I have talked about that had issues with the HR because of their love triangle. Well sometimes she would tell me she could do this or that behind your back and I think that no matter how I try to explain to her that I don't want to focus on this might have stressed me a bit.

I do believe that I can't nor I want to follow someone and obsess over whether they would sneak and play behind my back. That won't help me. My strategy is to surround myself with people that trust me. This way even if the HR does something I will have support behind my back. That for me is a better approach than thinking how she can screw me over.

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) . I had issues in the past with this to be honest. I obviously had two options: 1. Decide that my environment plays a part. This in my head meant blaming my parents and family for this and I did not want to do that. I mean my parents love me. They did the best for me and I would feel a total jerk if I start blaming them for my issues. 2. Decide that my environment does not play a role. This meant in my head that there is something completely wrong with me. I did not like both options so decided to not explore too much and avoid the topic as much as possible. As it's not resolved fully obviously it sits in the back of my mind .

Do you think if you explored this more (even with a therapist in person) it might help?

Yeah I started feeling anger because I think that I reached my limit when it came to the jerk. I had tolerated him for 9 years and I think at some point I internally said "I had enough" and this resulted in me being extremely pissed at the people that allowed this jerk to act like that towards me and a lot of other people in the team.

Shows you have some patience, lol. Honestly, I wouldn't have been able to tolerate that for 9 years. Then again, I probably would have left instead of sticking around. But yes, I can see why you had enough!

Most probably I did not follow my advise of letting my anger bits by bits in small increments when it comes to some people, but let it stay in me for long periods of time and I think that even now (despite of them being gone) I still have not resolved my anger fully.

Would it be a good idea to try and go there?

You remember a former co-worker I have talked about that had issues with the HR because of their love triangle. Well sometimes she would tell me she could do this or that behind your back and I think that no matter how I try to explain to her that I don't want to focus on this might have stressed me a bit. I do believe that I can't nor I want to follow someone and obsess over whether they would sneak and play behind my back. That won't help me. My strategy is to surround myself with people that trust me. This way even if the HR does something I will have support behind my back. That for me is a better approach than thinking how she can screw me over.

I completely understand this route you are deciding to take. It's the healthy option.

You mentioned a coworker (female) on maternity leave was returning soon and you were interested in how she'd react to all of the changes... has she returned yet?

[jediwands]

Checking out INFJ Boards

Man, is it refreshing to go there. It’s frustrating at times having the rarest personality type on the planet. It’s not even close, INFJ is RARE. So to frequent these forums is almost therapeutic because these people speak my same language.

Anyway, I’ve struggled with something for several years now. I’ve always wondered if I am so intuitive, how on earth did I not pick up on those two really terrible people in my past. Like, why would I have not realized they had some darkness and I should have stayed away?

There is an entire forum practically on this very question. It’s now very clear why this was the case. Apparently TONS of INFJs endure this. There is an easy answer as to why this takes place. The reason why we end up enduring terrible relationships is because we’re not picking up on their present traits... we’re picking up on their potential and what they could be... not what they are at the moment.

Man, I can’t tell you how much sense this makes. All the more it describes the INFJ and how we tick. Most importantly, I feel like less of a fool for allowing those two morons to take up so much of my time in the past. My family and friends despised these two people. I remember thinking at the time it was all about potential and what I was seeing past the present. I didn’t put it into those words but now I know that’s precisely what was happening. It’s interesting.

That said, now that I can read the future much better I can safely say both of these idiots have not lived up to their potential. They are the same people that I knew, unfortunately and I feel sorry for the people that are wrapped up into their lives. They are not happy. They are stuck like I once was.

[secretk]

Interesting link about INXX types - https://www.quora.com/How-would-you-...INFP-INTJ-INFJ.

This is funny:

If they understand your mind and they’re cold, they’re INTJ. If they truly understand you, and they’re warm, they’re INFJ.

And funny pictures:

[jediwands]

^ LOL That's great and very true.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) ^ LOL That's great and very true.

Yeah. People definitely made their research .

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Yeah. People definitely made their research .

For sure! Which is great.

[secretk]

Interesting paper on collective conscious and dissociative identity disorder - https://blogs.scientificamerican.com...nd-everything/

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) Interesting paper on collective conscious and dissociative identity disorder - https://blogs.scientificamerican.com...nd-everything/

LOL!

In my email boxes, both personal and work, I've received this article from:

1. Clinical Research Department of Psychology U of M
2. Two coworkers
3. Three cousins
4. One Aunt
5. Two Cleveland friends



It's a good one.

[jediwands]

Enneagram Personality Test

So I took this twice, two different tests.

First test I got Type 2.

Second test I got Type 4.

I think I’m on the right track because out of all the types, Type 4 has the largest % of INFJs followed by Type 2 as the second largest % of INFJs.

Confirms my INFJ all the more (not that I needed confirmation).

Now I want to figure out if I’m Type 2 or 4.

[secretk]

Originally Posted by Wilpen (View Post) LOL! In my email boxes, both personal and work, I've received this article from: 1. Clinical Research Department of Psychology U of M 2. Two coworkers 3. Three cousins 4. One Aunt 5. Two Cleveland friends It's a good one.

So cool. Another one that you might have received already - Hundreds of new genes may underlie intelligence—but also autism and depression | Science | AAAS

[jediwands]

Originally Posted by secretk (View Post) So cool. Another one that you might have received already - Hundreds of new genes may underlie intelligence—but also autism and depression | Science | AAAS

Yes, I haven't seen this article in particular, but we are studying/researching this area (and areas related to this) in our very large research department. Matter of fact, scientists and psychologists have a joint program at the University working on this area together. Sort of like how I work with the neurobiology department too when my area of research goes deep into the brain.

[Jerry D]

I weighed myself this morning and in two months I've lost 30 Lbs. I still have a long way to go, but I'm motivated and committed to losing weight and getting back in shape. The injection I got in my arthritic shoulder has helped and I'm doing upper and lower body strength training as well as cardio every night. I do upper body strength training Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, and lower body strength training on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I've also cut out junk food and I'm eating healthier. I get discouraged sometimes because I have such a long way to go but at least I've started.

[jediwands]

That’s wonderful, Jerry! Great job! I have no doubt you’ll reach your goal.