Fan Fiction/Writing - Original Fiction #2 - fandom? what fandom? - Page 5

trucherrygirl · 01-19-2009, 11:14 PM

Gah, I'm such a sucker for romance!!

I want to know more!

preenad · 01-19-2009, 11:26 PM

i think i ned to jjoin fiction press

chasin' the wind · 01-20-2009, 07:40 AM

Quote:

Michael moved in his seat so that he was facing her and asked, “What’s wrong, Jane?’

She hesitated before replying, “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

“Like what?”

He watched as tears filled her eyes and poured over her smooth cheeks. She turned away from him so he couldn’t see her. Michael sighed and made his way to the back seat of the Challenger. He closed his shirt and slipped out of his shoes. Whatever her decision was, they were going to be camping there for at least a few hours or until the rain slowed down.

“Jane, come here,” he said, listening to her sobbing.

She shook her head and turned her back toward him.

“Please. I just want to talk to you,” he told her.

Her head spun around, and she looked at him, her nose still red and tear stains coating her cheeks. He had seen her cry one too many times that week, and he was going to get to the bottom of it. She climbed over her seat and joined Michael in the back. When she was seated next to him, he scooted over to her and took her hands in his. She tried to pull away, but his grasp was too strong so she turned her head as tears continued to flow.

“Jane, if you don’t tell me what’s wrong, I’m never going to understand,” he told her.

preenad · 01-20-2009, 10:14 AM

wow thats really good, i think i'll post some of mine when i finish chapter 3

sweet_zelda · 01-20-2009, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preenad (View Post)

i think i ned to jjoin fiction press

Why's that?

Bekka, you're torturing me

But I like where it's going (the story, not the torture!)

chasin' the wind · 01-20-2009, 02:20 PM

Quote:

He wanted so badly to know what was troubling her. It seemed like they hadn’t sat down and had a good conversation with one another in a long time. She was usually at work or busy taking care of Ryan, and he was always out working on the farm. If they wanted to give themselves a secure future as a couple, then they needed to be open with each other.

She took and deep breath and turned to him. Taking one hand and wiping away her tears, she replied, “I just feel that you deserve someone so much better than me. I know you only married me because I got pregnant, and now I feel that I’m somehow holding you back.”

follow the sun · 01-20-2009, 07:02 PM

chasin' the wind · 01-20-2009, 07:10 PM

I was waiting for a reaction.

Now I can post more!

follow the sun · 01-20-2009, 07:12 PM

btw I just saw an ad for the Mary Poppins DVD

chasin' the wind · 01-20-2009, 07:17 PM

Quote:

“Jane,” he said, reaching up and brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. “Why on earth would you think something like that? I did not marry you because I got you pregnant. Why do you think I asked you out in the first place? Because I thought you would be easy?”

She turned away from because she knew that was exactly the reason. She would be the first to admit that she wasn’t a beautiful woman, and he had had women much more attractive than her in his lifetime. Parts of her wished that she had never even laid eyes on him, and the rest of her didn’t want to imagine her life without him.

“Is that what you think?” he asked her, slightly astounded. “Nothing could be farther from the truth.” He paused for a moment and then continued, “Do you remember that day you walked into the store wearing that white dress? I could barely remember who I was when I caught a glimpse of you. Jane, I have no idea what your opinion of yourself is, but I have never met a woman like you before.”

She knew that it was just a cliché, so it had no effect on her. All she could think about was Ryan who was at his grandmother’s house and how he was just the result of one night of passion with a man that she still felt she knew nothing about. He sighed because nothing he could say was going to make her react.

chasin' the wind · 01-20-2009, 07:50 PM

I've got a lot more to post, but I want to know what I doing right/wrong. I'm open to criticism, so bring it on.

I just want my writings to be the best possible.

preenad · 01-20-2009, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweet_zelda (View Post)

Why's that?

Bekka, you're torturing me

But I like where it's going (the story, not the torture!)

so i can post mine somewhere

sweet_zelda · 01-21-2009, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preenad (View Post)

so i can post mine somewhere

I use LJ and this place for most of my stuff, I'm too shy to post it anywhere else

I think I have a writing.com account, but I've never used it...

chasin' the wind · 01-21-2009, 05:13 AM

Quote:

“Jane,” he said. “I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my lifetime but marrying you is not one of them. I thought I was always going to be happy with the boozy types of women. The ones who you can take out at midnight, the ones you can fool around with and have no need of commitment. But after a while I realized that that wasn’t the type of woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.” He sighed and added, “I wanted a woman who would be there for me when I was sick or hurt. I wanted a woman who would be able to be a wonderful wife and an even better mother. I wanted a woman whose touch made me ache all over. I wanted a woman… like you.”

“But you want to sleep with a woman like Twyla Nixon,” she shot right back at him.

preenad · 01-21-2009, 09:40 AM

wow this is amazing, i would post it on LJ but i dont use it


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