Depression Support #23 - One minute to the next minute, to the next
 

We're here if you need to talk, or just want to read to find some comfort, and companionship

:nod:

Thanks for the new thread.

Well I hope you're right, Sunny. Hopefully it work out one way or another in the end. I'm just annoyed that I'm being made to suffer over a result I didn't want, but I guess I have to get over that at some point.

Look to the past to cheer you up, Claire. Obviously, no one's wishing for a return of the post-war days, but you all got through that, you'll get through Brexit. :hug:

Ugh, I can’t sleep lately. And tonight I feel a lot of distress over multiple things. :no: I’m going to have to buy some new sleeping pills for my brain to shut itself off or maybe even increase my anti-anxiety meds. I’ll have to ask my doctor in a week :shrug: not sure how to get to sleep.

Don't hate me for saying it, Leanne, but maybe start by hitting the pool first? I know it's too hot to breathe outside, but you just said on the other thread that you're bored off your gord. Maybe if you find ways to occupy your mind and your body during the day, they'll both be ready for rest at the end of it... :shrug:

Yeah finding things to do might help, Leanne. :hug:

It is hard when there's nothing to mark the passage of time throughout the day.I go through something similar every time I have a staycation.

I suffer for it every day here, but after 3+ years, I keep going. You will, too. :hug:

Thanks Kim.:hug:

If Canada can survive 10 effing years of Stephen Harper doing his level best to destroy Canadian society and identity as we know them, I have every faith that your countries will survive these blips in the road.

Yeah, I decided I plan to go into my pool more this week and tonight I did and it’s nice to just cool off and float in the water. Try to relax that way or practice Meditation while floating on the water.

I also have 5 library books I just borrowed too for distraction, :read:

Good for you, Leanne.:)

So far so good. I know I’m fighting some dread feelings but I’m not freaking out.

It's always good to keep one's feelings in their proper place.

I'm glad you're not dealing with as bad of depression as you used to go through, Leanne. :hug:

Well, I mentioned to my mother, on the phone, that I'm considering moving to another state, and asked how she would feel about it. If she'd be okay.

Come to find out that her nephew has been around taking care of the house. (my cousin, one of her brothers sons) Nevermind that he was a hostile, threatening, drunk. They're all buddy buddy now. Including his wife, and 4 kids. She said that they call and check on her regularly, and would be there for her.

While that put my mind at ease about that, it hurt me, so much. So much. All I keep thinking is how can she forgive him for everything, but not me, for whatever reason she threw me out? How can she ask them for help, and not me? Why does she suddenly trust him so much, and not me? Why didn't she tell me he'd been around, at all? How can she leave me completely alone, and also cause me to deal with Kevin's death all on my own? :(

That sounds quite odd to me, Kim. Like they're getting in there to secure her inheritance or something. And that she's letting them for her own reasons...

:hug: I hate that it hurts you, though.

That does sound like a sort of plan that Sunny brought up. :eyebrow:

Your mom is a mystery to me, Kim :confused:

So sorry she is like this, you don’t deserve this sort of mother situation. :hug:

I don't know why your mother goes out of her way to hurt you, Kim. I really don't. I personally feel it might be better for you if you cut her out of your life. I can understand you finding that hard to do though.

I think she's reaching out to anyone now that she's found herself on her own, but I doubt she has forgiven them, she doesn't seem like a forgiving person. I would guess it is out of necessity rather than anything, and she is too proud to admit that she made a mistake in treating you the way she did, because then she would have to face up to the reality of what she did. She is avoiding the guilt by pretending that everything is better this way.

Protect yourself, and your own feelings, Kim. I hope it gets easier the more distant from her you get.

^ Once again, Claire has the right of it, I think.

Whatever shenanigans your mother is doing, whatever her reasons are, Kim, you need to focus on protecting yourself. Take your shot and get away. Look to the light.

Also Kim you didn't do anything wrong. She threw you out because she saw Kevin as more important.

^Thanks Sunny. :blush:

I think it's scary to walk away from familiar situations, but I think sometimes a cycle needs to be broken. And I think this is one of those times, Kim.

Get yourself a clean slate. You'll be bringing your own baggage anyway. You have zero obligation to try and sort your mother's baggage as well.

Anguish when you think a person matches so many things as yourself but you will never ever interact in the future with them and a Chance was never given to.

I'm waiting to see how my mother handles her sister's latest diagnoses.

You guys are the best. :group_hug: I learned a lot from your posts, and most of all, the reinforcement of taking care of myself really helped.

I take it's not good for your aunt, or it kind of sounds that way from your post, Sunny. How about you? How are you taking it? Are you close to her?

Claire and Leanne, how are the two of you? Doing okay?