sunnykerr

If you're both minors, or at least closer in age (because majority is kind of an arbitrary line, especially when talking about something innocent like a crush), there is zero issue. For sure.

But when Harry Potter, the movie, came out, if he was 11, I was 21.

Hey, I didn't exactly have a crush on Devon Sawa when I was Little Giants and Casper, but I definitely liked him. And he was, for sure, a kid when he made those movies. It just so happens we're about the same age, so that's not creepy to me.

And, listen, when we're talking about celebrity crushes, there will always be celebrities that seem to be older or much younger than they actually are. I mean, they are, in part, hired for what they project more than what they actually are. I remember when Scarlett Johansson made The Perfect Score (a teen movie), she said part of the appeal was that she'd get to hang out with actors her own age for once, because she was mostly cast in adult films at that time. I don't think they ever pretended she was 10 years older than she was, but she definitely was cast as older than she actually was.

So, you know, I wouldn't blame a person for getting a crush on her when she was underage. (I would blame them heavily if they got creepy and criminal about it, though.)

reason to believe

Social media is whole new monster in having celebrity crushes, I'm finding out! You gotta think about how weird "parasocial" relationships can happen these days.



This time all I did was watch an IG Live that had my crush Stephanie Beatriz participating. At the bottom, the viewers can post comments constantly that the participants can read and I noticed her looking at them. When I made a comment about her maybe someday writing a book (?), it stuck on the screen there for a few seconds and then I freaking saw her smile. Did she smile cause of my comment, it feels that way... its just weird these days you can "live chat" and cause a reaction from them. And I'm old enough to remember the old days of old fan letter writing and crossing fingers you might get a REAL response and not a form letter back. Now its "live video comments" and real reactions.
(And after I wrote this, I saw she liked a comment I made on her IG about loving the babies in our lives when she posted her little one)

sunnykerr

I'm so happy Leanne! That sounds awesome.

reason to believe

Yeah, its pretty cool to see someone you really like, smiling at something you just said. Or connecting over our love for our babies!


Technology is weird for fandoms these days!

sunnykerr

For sure. I haven't had that experience with a celebrity crush, but I can totally see how awesome it would be.

It's just nice to have experiences that bring joy to your day.

livstevi21

That's totally understandable and I absolutely agree.

It is much easier for sure, plus I'm all for the maturity of older guys. I would say there's a threshold for older crushes for me as well though, like I certainly wouldn't go past 20 years older.

Yeah, I'd noticed that a lot with previous Tom fans, like I had comments on the cameo message Tom did for which I then uploaded on to youtube and how shocked they were on how different he looks when the last time they saw him was on Smallville. I had to keep saying to them that people do change and it's been like 10 years. I get that it's a shock to the image they've always had of him but at the same time it seems like people are a little too focussed on looks. To me, he is still gorgeous. He's still the same person inside even if others perceive differently.

sunnykerr

That's an excellent point on people getting older. If we're lucky, we all will.

I think the "problem" with a celebrity crush is that you do tend to idealize them, right? I mean, we all idealize crushes full stop, but it's obviously worse when you don't even know them. (I mean, I know you've met Tom several times and got to have a good idea of his personality... but that's exceptional in the world of celebrity crushes, isn't it?

Anyway, the point is that it becomes too easy for them to "fall from grace" for us, you know? They're just people, after all. People with all kinds of skills, means and people around them to present them at their best, but people nonetheless.

livstevi21

Well, yes, true, we do tend to idealise celebrity crushes for sure, and yes, I suppose it the exception when actually having a good idea of their personality because you've had the opportunity to meet them a few times. I'm not sure of the ratio of people who admire celebs only from afar like you compared to those who go to comic cons and the like to meet them, but hundreds of thousands of people attend comic cons all around the world. And Tom has been to his fair share of them in the last few years, meeting thousands of fans. So it won't have only been me who can attest to his good nature. Granted, every experience is different and every comic con is different, there have been ones where Tom has been more relaxed at than others.

Indeed, we are all only human. No one is perfect, even the celebs we admire, I think we can all accept that.

sunnykerr

Oh, I didn't mean to add that you're the only one who's had that experience. Just that it's not a universal experience. Obviously, people who go to cons meet the celebrities who do cons. People who go to many cons probably get to know the celebrities who go to several cons as well.

But, if I go back to my example of how everyone had a crush on hockey players when I was a teenager, you're never gonna meet those guys often enough or long enough to get to know them. Not unless there are special circumstances at play like you babysit for them or they're friends of the family... or whatever.

That's all I meant. There are celebrities that are know-able, but there are also a lot of celebrities you'll never know. I'm alright with that, obviously.

livstevi21

Ah, ok, yes, I get that. It isn't a universal experience, not everyone attends cons and not all celebrities go to them either.

You're less likely to meet sports celebrities and get to know them for sure. Oh and absolutely, there are plenty of celebrities I'll never know and I'm fine with that too. Then there's the ones that are freaking everywhere in your face like the Kardashians but I go out of my way to avoid anything they're in like the plague.

sunnykerr

The Kardashians are just so weird to me. It's a heck of a way to live isn't it? To be famous... because you're famous. And for literally no other reason. I'm sure they all work very hard at... whatever it is they do. I don't want to diminish that. But it's all so... I don't know.

I mean, it's not like my life is so profoundly meaningful either. So who am I to judge, I suppose?

But they're as good an example as any of my "issue" with celebrity. Everyone knows who the Kardashians are. I don't think any of us truly know them, though. Life is a performance for them. So how can you know anything that matters? I just don't understand how you can sustain a crush on someone based on looks or fame alone, you know?

I understand your celebrity crush on Tom. You've met him. He's been a genuine and a genuinely nice person to you, (And, obviously, you don't need me to understand it for it to be worthwhile.)

In a similar vein, I could crush on George Clooney. Except he's never done anything for me physically. But I really admire his intelligence, his sense of humour and his integrity. This is the aura he gives out. What do the Kardashians give out?

livstevi21

Yeah, it sure is. I just feel it's all so superficial, not to mention self absorbed. I guess I shouldn't be so judgy myself but I can't stand people who put themselves out there just to become rich and famous and for nothing else. It's worse when they become reality TV stars where I could care less about wanting to know about their lives and wonder why anyone would be fascinated by watching those shows. Though I suppose what they put on TV is a somewhat performance than how they live privately, not that they have much of a private life deliberately putting themselves out there like that showing the public their lives. And yet I still know who they are because of TV and social media advertisement. I totally agree with you, I don't understand how someone can sustain a crush on a celebrity based on fame and looks alone either. Film and TV actors on the other hand, do an actual job. I'm not saying reality 'stars' like the Kardashians don't work hard at what they do, but considering they're so rich they don't really need to work a real hard day's job in their life.

There's no denying I first crushed on Tom based on his looks, how can you not? But as I got to 'know' him more and more over the years, reading stories from his co-stars and other fans, watching his interviews and more recently at the comic con panels, I found that he also has great integrity, an awesome sense of humour and is also intelligent. And of course, getting to meet him in person showed me how genuinely nice a person he really is.

sunnykerr

Yeah. Obviously, even the Kardashians are people, too. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that they're people first and foremost.

I just think that, for a celebrity crush, they're a bit of an empty object, you know? And I think they probably have more private life than we realize since however long an episode of their show is, that's hardly the whole of their lives. Obviously, they shoot more than they show, but even then, there must be periods when the camera isn't there. The problem is that their work is... their life as a performance.

Some day they'll die like the rest of us. I'm not saying like it's something I'm wishing for or actively waiting for. I'm just saying we're all the same at the end of the day, not matter how much time we spend in front of a camera or not.

There's nothing better to form a crush than having someone be kind to you. At least, that's how I used to start crushes back when I had more of those. Kindness is a powerful aphrodisiac for me.

reason to believe

That’s why I SO rarely admire or even like people or actors I see in entertainment cause usually they are shallow and want fame, not true artists of their craft or sometimes even reallly truly talented in acting. (They just play a form of themselves)

Truly, there are only 3 people I’ve realized I’ve had true crushes in the “Hollywood” biz on even tho I don’t know them personally and just from what I’ve seen. And the only two things that can make me fall in love is 1. Sincerity in their personality… which you can see when it’s pure. 2. They are actually talented in their career of choice, which means they have really worked hard to become good at their art. I’m going to share an example of what I mean in this YT clip… I mean, I don’t feel any fakeness from her in what she’s saying and her aura..



And yes, my current crush is not weakening, it just keeps growing the more I see and hear from her because those 2 things apply.

Exactly, and Stephanie Beatriz has actually been kind to me through liking my comments and even once telling me to check google when I was hoping she would do horror and she was signed on to do one. She cared enough to tell me to make my day and even included an emoji… I mean, she didn’t have to bother… ugh.

sunnykerr

I have a weird thing about actors who play versions of themselves all the time. When Tom Cruise does it, it makes me heave. When George Clooney does it, I am delighted and charmed. So sometimes it works (for me) and sometimes it doesn't. And I have no idea why that is or what makes that difference.

I'm just happy she brings you joy. That's amazing.