[Kiki17]

So we know Kalinda does really open up to anyone. But if she were to open up eventually, who do you think she will open up too? Do you think it could be Alicia or more likely to a partner?

[Kalinda Smith]

Licking her ear?! Not everyone is a glokomassowhateverphile like you

I think the word you're looking for is gynotikolobomassophile and Matt could very well be a closeted gynotikolobomassophile or just happen to like licking his friends' ears and btw, gynotikolobomassophilia is for earlobes only

Do you think it could be Alicia or more likely to a partner?

Depends. If you mean "open up" as in "be more forthcoming about her emotions", I'd say Alicia has good chances because she's been on her back for a while about trying to know her better. Plus, given the time K spends at work, if there is a crack to be made, it might be connected to a case so Alicia could witness an involuntary slip of the mask but that'd be very brief. It would take something huge to destabilize Kalinda for more than a moment.

Now if you mean "open up" as in "reveal a little about her past", that's a tougher sell. Whatever happened, she buried it verrrry deep and you don't dig up things you bury this deep just to please someone, even someone you love. It's a coping mechanism. It hurts so you hide it. It's the only way you can function. After a while you can even forget about it and pretend to live your life "normally". But if anyone gets too close, any move in that direction would be interpreted as hostile and treated as such.

So whatever happens, if there's some revelation about her "past", it will have to be against her will. No way she'll just pour her heart out to someone suddenly.

I don't know what happened in her past that made her build those walls but I can tell you that whatever it is, she worked very hard, and is still working very hard at overcoming it and at not letting it make her someone she didn't want to be. 'cuz "everything you want to be you is you", right?

[Kiki17]

K spends at work, if there is a crack to be made, it might be connected to a case so Alicia could witness an involuntary slip of the mask but that'd be very brief.

Yea I agree, it will be brief but could give us some insight indeed.

But if anyone gets too close, any move in that direction would be interpreted as hostile and treated as such.

So do you think she will push any partner away? do you think she is capable of opening up and letting someone love her? Do you think she could ever open up, and let someone in, cause she cannot really be deeply connected to someone if you are keeping something so big buried, right?

working very hard at overcoming it and at not letting it make her someone she didn't want to be. 'cuz "everything you want to be you is you", right

so you think she is trying to over come it? by buried it? the woman is complicated, if you had to take a guess, what do you think happened?

[Kalinda Smith]

Yea I agree, it will be brief but could give us some insight indeed.

Oh definitely. We would get a better angle than Alicia too. 'cuz whatever they reveal, the audience is gonna get a lot more exposure than Alicia or any of the characters I think.

o do you think she will push any partner away?

If they try to get closer than she'll allow, sure she will. She'll give them a good push and run in the opposite direction. Do you remember how she mocked poor Detective Frank when he shot his target in the chest? My guess he tried to get too close and she bailed.

do you think she is capable of opening up and letting someone love her? Do you think she could ever open up, and let someone in, cause she cannot really be deeply connected to someone if you are keeping something so big buried, right?

It IS tricky. And from her behavior as we've witnessed it, I'd say no. She's capable of having feelings for someone, she's not a psychopath. But her first instinct is gonna be self protection and if that means being alone, that's how she'll live. It would take a loooot of work on herself to take an active part in a relationship. She's already shaken by her emotional involvement with Alicia and the risks she takes for it, so imagine if someone was actually expecting her to act on those feelings.

so you think she is trying to over come it? by buried it?

Classic coping mechanism. It's like people whose parents were alcoholics, who refuse to even have a beer for fear of becoming their parents. They are afraid their childhood's experience of alcohol will shape their adult life so they run the other way.

the woman is complicated, if you had to take a guess, what do you think happened?

Could be many things. But there is a traumatic event, or a series of traumas. Nothing else can explain such strong defense mechanisms. As to what was the nature of the trauma, it's hard to say for sure. Could be abuse, sadly (sorry Fluff but there are a lot of boxes ticked on that check list already). She could have witnessed repeated severe violence or one intense violent episode (like a murder). It could have been a gross betrayal of trust from someone close to her. Sadly, human beings keep inventing new ways to screw with each other's heads.

Whatever it is, the tight rein on her emotions, the distance she puts between herself and others, even the methodically cool exterior, seem to indicate deeply rooted trust issues, possibly some attachement disorder (hey Fluff, we're getting back to your question, see? ) and a deep anxiety about not being in control of her own life. You know? like if your Dad used to beat your Mom, will you be a violent person? or if you were abused as a child, will you be a victim all your life?

Anyway. Somehow I suspect they're going to end up with something completely different and I'll be left looking like a fool at the end of the season but I don't care. I'm not a psychic.

[Kiki17]

the audience is gonna get a lot more exposure

I sure hope we get something.

Do you remember how she mocked poor Detective Frank when he shot his target in the chest?

no I cannot remember

She's already shaken by her emotional involvement with Alicia and the risks she takes for it, so imagine if someone was actually expecting her to act on those feelings.

right! very true that is going to be a great dynamic, to see how much more K risk for A.

They are afraid their childhood's experience of alcohol will shape their adult life so they run the other way.

Yup I see!

Could be abuse, sadly (sorry Fluff but there are a lot of boxes ticked on that check list already). She could have witnessed repeated severe violence or one intense violent episode (like a murder). It could have been a gross betrayal of trust from someone close to her

Well I really wonder if they will ever tell us. probably not I kind of hope is not something so dark.....

[Gelfling]

Oooh very interesting. We're going into Kalinda's psyche now

Just one quick trip to ShallowLand here...

Matt could very well be a closeted gynotikolobomassophile or just happen to like licking his friends' ears

he's a very friendly guy so who knows?

And we're back into the deep dark recesses of Kalinda's mind

It would take something huge to destabilize Kalinda for more than a moment.

But why does she keep such mask on? Is it a conscious or unconscious thing? Is that part of the "coping mechanism" you're talking about?

It's a coping mechanism. It hurts so you hide it. It's the only way you can function.

Is that what makes you believe it's something traumatic in her past that shaped her personality?

not letting it make her someone she didn't want to be. 'cuz "everything you want to be you is you", right?

So you think she's conflicted about her personality and she struggles against some primordial instinct? Is that what you were referring to when you said it could explain the ambiguity in some of her personality traits?

Do you think she could ever open up, and let someone in, cause she cannot really be deeply connected to someone if you are keeping something so big buried, right?

It does seem impossible to really connect with someone if you're holding back something that big, doesn't it? Lil, is that why you were saying finding a good match for her was going to be complicated?

Do you remember how she mocked poor Detective Frank when he shot his target in the chest? My guess he tried to get too close and she bailed.

Hehe. Poor Frank. She didn't even try to hide it. He always acted like a guy who'd been dumped... the way he's always asking her what she needs as if it was the only reason she'd get near him

She's capable of having feelings for someone, she's not a psychopath. But her first instinct is gonna be self protection and if that means being alone, that's how she'll live.

Do you mean that she sees having feelings for someone as potentially hurtful or that she prefers being alone and thus shies away from emotional connections?

Could be many things. But there is a traumatic event, or a series of traumas. Nothing else can explain such strong defense mechanisms

Ok, you're bringing me down again

I'm sorry to ask this and I hope you don't get offended because I respect your awesome powers of perception, Lil but don't you think it's possible you're letting your job color things a little darker here?
I'm not saying you're not right, and it is certainly interesting but what I mean I guess is "is there any way it's something less heavy?"

Whatever it is, the tight rein on her emotions, the distance she puts between herself and others, even the methodically cool exterior, seem to indicate deeply rooted trust issues, possibly some attachement disorder (hey Fluff, we're getting back to your question, see? ) and a deep anxiety about not being in control of her own life.

That's fascinating! So she works hard at appearing and being in control because she's scared of not actually being in control... interesting. I know people like that. Ain't pretty.
What do you mean by "attachment disorder"?

Somehow I suspect they're going to end up with something completely different and I'll be left looking like a fool at the end of the season

who cares? We're having great fun speculating! And besides, that would only be because they don't have to stay coherent though I hope they do...

[Kalinda Smith]

Oh baby! It is ON in the Kalinda thread again!

no I cannot remember

Damn! I'm uploading it today and I'll give you the YT link tomorrow! Such a cute scene

that is going to be a great dynamic, to see how much more K risk for A.

I hope we get more of that.

I kind of hope is not something so dark.....

Heh. You and Fluff... you're such sweeties. but sometimes life hands you more than lemons, you know what I mean?

But why does she keep such mask on? Is it a conscious or unconscious thing? Is that part of the "coping mechanism" you're talking about?

Totally conscious. It's a damn effort at times but most of the time it's just routine. After a while you don't have to hide your emotions, you just do. Why? Like I said, part of her armor. The less people know about her and her weaknesses, the less they can hurt her. You have to understand that whatever the reason, she perceives emotions as a weakness and showing emotion as a sign of weakness that can be exploited. Remember her attitude when that dirty cop points to Burton? Her jaw almost hits the floor. Then she looks to Diane to see if she's been spotted and reajust herself in a more "Kalinda cool" pose. That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about.

It's a coping mechanism. It hurts so you hide it. It's the only way you can function. Is that what makes you believe it's something traumatic in her past that shaped her personality?

You don't raise walls around yourself like that because you had a fight with your bff after she asked out the guy you wanted to ask to the prom, you know what I mean? It's got to be something deep that shook her faith in people and her ability to trust someone. Most likely a betrayal on a grand scale.

So you think she's conflicted about her personality and she struggles against some primordial instinct? Is that what you were referring to when you said it could explain the ambiguity in some of her personality traits?

heh. I love when you remember things like that. Yep. it would make a lot of sense. Some inner conflict between her natural instinct and whatever life taught her the hard way.

ok. is about to go down so I'll go on this afternoon

[Det.Logan]

[Kiki17]

Awwww she looks beautiful

[Det.Logan]

It's a little gift for Lily, I hope it's new to her

[Gelfling]

And just for winning, that girl deserves a BUMP!!

CONGRATS ARCHIE!!!

[Kiki17]

CONGRATS ARCHIE!!!!

I am stunned!! I knew you deserved it, cannot beleive they gave it to an unknow name!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!! OMGGGGGGG, I SCREAMED FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES!!

[.:DoDs:.]

Soooo happy Archie won! I literaly screamed when they announce her name!

[Ace Of Hearts]

Our girl!! I'm sooo freaking happy she won. My mom and I screamed like fangirls when they announced Archie as the winner, true story.
And oh my! She has an accent!! I didn't know that.

Oh btw. Kalinda >>> all.

[Kalinda Smith]

Heh yeah! She's a Brit baby!!