Mayberry

I actually buy that. He wants his father's approval at first, but then he actually cares what Adrianna thinks at the same time. She's always been the one to check on him when he's heartbroken, and clearly he was attracted to her based on the season premiere. It's not a perfect set-up, but there is set-up. He even kept her company when Dixon was touring in 1.13. I prefer Navade but I buy that Austin's trying to be there for her.

fashionista22

For Mayberry!!

Mayberry

First off, thanks to fashionista for being awesome!

Previously on 90210....Caleb "knew" Annie in the Biblical sense, we learned Dixon doesn't burn down houses, and a scruffy Max was behind door number 1.

Naomi's already roped Max into undressing for her, starting with bow ties. Max isn't in on the plan and starts talking business to Naomi, who's been through about three already. Max drops that he's made millions and Naomi's like I made that last week. Naomi tears off his jacket to see if there are any Madison fingerprints on him before she throws him on the couch. Max pulls on another jacket, and they make sex eyes at each other. Naomi's plan is working....until Madison mentions her friend's got shingles. She's confused because her best friend was nowhere near a roof. Luckily, Space Cadet can always count on Naomi no matter Maxomi's history cause Naomi's single and she's got nothing better to do. Space Cadet mentions she's in love with Nick Carter/BSB and made a shrine to them out of action figures and baby dolls wearing matching outfits and small microphones Adrianna couldn't get a hold of. Space Cadet's favorite is Nick because he's the only one she can imagine Max successfully fighting with. Naomi agrees so she won't have to hear how the Spice Girls changed Madison's life next. Naomi calls herself "second best" and says bye, bye, bye to couch sex.

Liam remembered he has a bar and practices his red carpet strut for Austin. Austin wants to remind him that he's a sucky actor and reads his bad movie reviews. Things like "Corporate Invaders is the gum on E.T.'s foot" and "I wanted to be a movie action hero but now I want to be an accountant" and "Text during this movie. No seriously, just text through it all." Liam thinks it's fair game and insults Austin by calling him an arsonist. Mmmkay, but he also saves prostitutes which is more than Liam does. Adrianna comes over to tell them they both suck and don't expect her to work on her day off. Liam kicks the apron he was holding under the bar. Now he has to figure out the cash register all by his lonesome. Austin offers her a good director for her music video. She's excited but it's really just gonna be her dancing around a barn singing about her ex-boyfriend...like half the country music artists out there. Austin leaves to wittle a block of wood. Adrianna tells another block of wood, Liam, that she loved his acting and asks for a raise. Liam brings up Silver, avoiding the question. Silver's in US Weekly sharing what's in her bag. Oh, and she's caught in a Brangelina/Jen love triangle that we all have to suffer through. Liam says he's going to fight for Silver after reading about what's in her purse. Adrianna's like you know what I put in my purse? Cash. Liam slides her a fifty. Sucker. She's going to buy some leather boots and a Stetson for the barn raising since Liam gave her that raise.

Ooooh, stained glass. Stained glass is pretty. Anyway, Annie runs through church like there's brimstone at her heels. She's looking for her hot priest and she finds another priest who notices she's wearing lady of the night colors, red and black. He can't call her a harlot so he focuses on Caleb, saying he's left the church because he doesn't feel worthy to wear the cloth. I don't like to shop for rich people's clothes either, says Annie. I'm from Kansas but PJ made me buy a designer bag once. Can Caleb forgive me? The priest says yes since he has no idea what she's talking about. But Caleb has to forgive himself. Annie does a fist pump and runs off. Caleb will believe he's fit to wear a Tom Ford suit. Testify! Testify! That's one peppy, warm-hearted harlot, thinks the priest.

Silver invited Adrianna to a private hoedown. Ade agreed so she could play her song and Silver would have to shut up about it. Silver suggests Adrianna write a song about cancer. Ade says that'd be icky so let's talk about boys which is less icky. She displays the tabloids to Silver after reading what Zac Efron does to make his hair shiny. Silver's offended...they didn't put that she carries vegan lip balm in her bag. Plus the boys' hair looks better than hers. The Jessicas are so much better than the storylines the writers give them. So sad. Anyway, Ade says Silver's pretty and asks the world's most important question: bedroom eyes or bedroom abs? Just the bedroom, replies Silver, winking at Ade. Just cause you have short hair doesn't mean you're Gia, so no, replies Ade. Get out Carrie Underwood, says Silver. I've got two days to find another friend since I alienated Bedroom Eyes and Bedroom Abs. These boots will come in handy. Ade frowns and sings Before He Cheats while staring at a picture of Navid Silver let fall to the floor.

Austin goes to a bulletin board to find rodeo clown jobs, and then is greeted by another clown, namely Navid. He's picking up a CU catalog. Navid in college? It's about time. Kudos to the writers. Navid apologizes for punching Austin's jaw. I wouldn't...that was one of three cool things he's done. An army of prostitutes, including Bree (Yaaaaaay!), go by the boys. Navid says he's enrolling in home ec so he can meet some girls. It worked on Saved By The Bell! Nevertheless, he puts all the blame on Liam and not Silver. Why am I not surprised? Silver could bang Dixon in front of Navid's face and he'd blame Dixon for making Silver sweat. Ugh. Dense dweeb. Max comes over to make Navid look less like a dweeb. Navid is friendly because Max reeks of millions and success. Max wipes his chest to rub the loserness off him. Then he invites Navid and Austin to the party. This is the highlight of Navid's social career, right after a trip to Legoland. Austin asks if the Country Bear Jamboree will perform. Liam booked them while Max gave them all the side-eye. Navid says he's gonna get their autographs. Max inviting Austin to the party is weird....really weird, but as long as he's not humping Naomi's leg, I'll go with it. Besides I think Austin was in a drunken fog throughout Naustin and just realized Naomi's got blonde hair. He's going to try and hook up with another blonde, Bree, and call her Naomi whenever she looks at his nose.

Ivy shows up at the Raj Kehr Memorial Skate park to search for Raj 2.0. Unlike Austin, they don't like attractive blondes. What kind of girls do they like? Girls that won't get them deported. None of the illegal immigrants want to talk to Ivy except for his Astoundingly Hot Friend. Seriously this dude is hooooot; he's like Ozzie with a beanie. Beanie Oz says that she should forget Diego and to go surf in a bathtub with a rubber duckie. The duck is rubber because Ivy is certifiably crazy and will try to eat it next Thanksgiving. That is, if Liam doesn't eat it first.

Naomi's located some abandoned implants and squishes them. Annie suddenly feels small-chested and complains. They're here to hear Silver's options which are Liam, Navid, Teddy, Dixon, Austin, Diego's Astoundingly Hot Friend and any attractive male in the world. Before the doctor comes in, they discuss how Naomi is jellies of Space Cadet. Naomi claims Madison isn't perfect for the simple fact that she's not Naomi Clark. I agree. That's fact. Now let her play with her bubbly boobies. Oh, and apparently Ade gets to sing for strangers cause if Adrianna stops singing, she'll drop dead.

The doctor comes in and all the girls shut up since she's about to use big words. She is well-spoken but I'm going to call her Doctor Ovarian because she talks about other people's ovaries. I really wish they would've saved this storyline until she was like 21. I don't care who's going to father her kid. I miss the Silver who had half-birthdays and threw wine bottles, normal teenage stuff. Meh, maybe Silver will just freeze a man like Mr. Freeze in Batman. Then, she can sex him up later.

Navid brought a pocket full of posies, then sees Liam. Ashes, ashes, we all fall down. Navid tells Liam he picked these flowers from a rainforest in New Guinea. Liam tells Navid he picked his flowers up from the best convenience store in town. A bee swoops in and lands on Liam's bouquet. Liam smiles proudly. It's on. They're about to spread pollen everywhere until the girls interrupt. Navid swats the bee. Silver won't stand for murder and yells at both of them. Liam says Navid punches worse than his grandma; Navid says his grandma can beat Liam up. Grandma Shirazi don't play. Silver goes off to mourn the bee. How many insects will give their lives before her lovers stop fighting over her?

Annie's pissed about the bee too and rants at Liam. But seriously, writers? She has no evil stare to give Silver while she's sickened by Liam. I can't even. Anyway, Liam called Annie to look at Caleb because he's never seen a priest drink before. He asks Annie why he hasn't exploded. Annie says later and goes to tell Caleb to stop being a lush. Caleb says he's weak because he actually spent money in Liam's bar, and all he got was some bad beer and lousy pretzels. He walks to shake the pretzel salt off. Ivy comes in to bother Annie. Why is Ivy upset with Annie? Didn't the police catch Ivy and Diego willingly doing illegal street art? Ivy's been annoying me lately. I'm starting to think Gillian should just go so the writers won't invent any more lame plots for her involving guest stars who make her bratty. Ivy jets off but not before saying Annie screws up lives. Somewhere Jasper is nodding his head....and playing with a lighter.

So Space Cadet is having her bachelorette party in an aquarium. She watches Finding Nemo every night and asks Max why seagulls can't live under the sea. Down here it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me....
Naomi liquors up the lemonade before the Part of Your World portion of the festivities. They're doing bride trivia, and Madison's first kiss from Max was on the cheek. He was showing her how that blowfish blow! Space Cadet also likes to drill canoes. She's hoping her and Max will fall in while Sebastian sings to them. Then she unknowingly bothers Silver when asked about future kids. Silver leaves to having a staring contest with sharks; they both like full-blooded men.

Ade wanders over to find Silver studying another male species, the seahorses. I knew about male seahorses carrying around the babies but I like that a writer knows something I knew when I was about ten so....plus, all the animals are so neon and purdy. Ade wishes Mr. Seahorses carried around Maisy so she could've avoided stretch marks. But when Maisie kicked her stomach, Adrianna fell in love. Her kid's as cuckoo as her and she couldn't wait to get out of her cage. Caleb, Annie, or Ade couldn't keep her locked up. Silver admits the false alarm made her want kids. Ade admits that she's the original pregnancy character and everybody else's fake babies pale in comparison. But I'm glad we're friends again, insists Ade. Silver asks if Ade will carry her babies like a seahorse. I'm just gonna stop coming over to you, sighs Ade. Silver gets the male seahorse's digits.

Welcome to the tricked out Offshore. Austin stapled some dead squirrels to the wall. Liam put a new eight ball on the table. Navid lit a candle since Dixon taught him how. Max doesn't know any of the men at the party. His true friends are too cool to hang around the likes of Liam and Navid. Liam introduces Max to another friend he doesn't know, Caleb. Caleb goes off to get toasted since he has to spend the entire night with Liam/Navid. Max says he wants to make out with an alien like Liam; that's code for Naomi and it's also Liam's greatest achievement. Navid disses the movie like any other intelligent moviegoer, and by intelligent, I mean the three-year olds that think Daddy Day Care is Citizen Kane. Liam tells Max he slept with Silver. Max says uh-oh, she's running out of exes so I better hide under the bar. Navid kinda pegs Liam for the selfish, sexed up twit that he is. Liam says let's play darts. The first person to hit a bullseye gets to braid Silver's hair. But there isn't that much to braid, speaks up Max. Let's do it, says Navid. I'm the best braider ever. Max is left alone to be Silver bait.

The other ex Silver hasn't gotten to, Austin, runs into Max. Max asks about the entertainment. Austin says the Country Bear Jamboree is chilling, but he brought some prostitutes for their opening act. Max says that now he knows why Austin can't get a job. Austin puts a resume between Bree's breasts.

Naomi pushes Adrianna to the stage after she says she'll pass out if she doesn't sing. She sings a catchy tune that Silver tapes, Silver's sure Ade is singing about their relationship and is sad Ade doesn't love her anymore. In all seriousness, I'd love to see Dixon's face when he hears this. He'd probably frown so deep his face and hat would fall towards his neck. Adrianna finishes, running over to Silver. Why are there so many close-ups of my body? Silver's like, it was my vision as a director. Space Cadet says Ade is AHmazing. Drunk Madison is pretty funny. She thinks Adrianna sings as good as Ariel before Ursula took her voice. Adrianna reminds herself to make sure nobody takes her voice, even if it means hiring Austin who can't protect a T-bone steak from a fork.

Cause this party can't get any lamer, Nick Carter shows up. He looks like he went through a wind tunnel to get there. No matter. He is Madison's Prince Eric. But she can't shut up around him unlike the Little Mermaid. Too bad for him. How are she and Nick Carter old friends? I guess that makes him larger than life.....

Naomi spills a drink on him so she can pull of some shenanigans. Nick is in the closet...with Space Cadet. They better kiss or she'll kill an octopus in Madison's name and then she won't ever be able to come to the aquarium ever again.

The animals are watching the Neanderthals play pool. It's mating season and the dead bear will come to life once Navid is alone. Navid's the same color as honey so Dead Yogi is in love with him. Navid cracks me up. He went to Princeton for two months after study group. He can totally outdrink Liam, who bought a bar after one night of booze.

Annie totters on her heels to go meet Ivy by the shark tank. The shark's plan to get Ivy since she's surfed on their home turf. Blondie's about to get beached and Diego will find pieces of her in Mexico. How did Annie contact Diego? And they conveniently meet on PJ's boat. Hogwash. It's more believable that Jaws would find Diego and we'd be rid of PLL Raj once and for all. Ivy runs from the sharks, who are congregating and licking their lips like she's chum. She lives to surf another day.

Adrianna asks why Nick Carter is here and if he needs to sing to live as well. Naomi says Madison's gonna pounce on him, and that Max needs to quit playing games with her heart. But she comes to find Madison narrating her life with Max. He calls her Bubbles, like Michael Jackson's chimp. Nick wants to sting himself with a stingray. He does not want it THAT way.

Naomi and Adrianna have a little powwow in front of the Wall o' Fish. Why are the two of us, the hottest girls to ever grace BHills, so unlucky in love? Cause the writers like to punish us the most, replies Naomi. Get with Max anyway, counsels Ade, and if that doesn't work, I can be your wedding singer. Naomi runs screaming and frightens the manatees while Ade sings riffs. Poor unfortunate souls....

We're back at Tricked Off Offshore. Austin is offering Bree some dirty money to see her dirty pillows. Bree agrees since she wants to go to Amsterdam, where prostitution isn't that illegal. It's a Moulin Rouge kinda night.

Grrrrr. Diego/Ivy had boat sex before Lade. FAIL. These two are boring. There's a decent amount of chemistry but there was barely any build-up before they exchanged these ILYs. It's the equivalent of opening a fortune cookie and reading "I Love You" off the paper. Anyway, A is getting Diego deported for taking too long in getting her some stencils. They need to find a way to stop A and to keep Jaws from trailing them.

Bree's in her negligee, after spraying some musk on her neck to get Austin in the mood. Austin pretends she's a voluptuous scarecrow and negotiates a price. This isn't Austin's first BBQ; it's five hundred dollars for some good ol' country whoopee. Bree says she would've done it for free. Really, says Austin. No, get on the bed, Howdy Doody. It's better if you don't talk. The LAPD stop the sexiness and handcuff those wascally blondes. Bree is upset; she's going to set Austin's britches on fire.

The Two Drunkards are officially soused. They burp beer bubbles and think Max is Jim Carrey at the Oscars. Navid says Liam always has to be the hero. Ab-Man says yes, I do, and I saved the universe, thank you very much. I am Spiderman. Max says, I read comics religiously and you, sir are not him. Navid toasts his mediocrity. When he was growing up, he could never be Batman or Robin and he had to be Alfred. Caleb shows that he's hardcore; he's the Spider-man in the third movie who could dance for one scene.

Bree informs the underage kids are drinking. The police finally do something about Liam and his inability to comprehend the drinking age. I'm surprised he never put a shot in front of Maisie. But brandy is a singer, guys. She was Cinderella and so it can't be bad for kids.
Caleb is shaking his tailfeather. The actor hopes he can star in Step Up 50: We Dance Better than We Act.

In what has to be the funniest scene of the night, Annie runs to tell Naomi that Madison is setting free the sharks. She was drunk enough that the sharks convinced her to free them so they could find Ivy on the boat. Jaws is coming, Sullivan. He's coming. Madison thought Nemo was in the tank. She was doing a drunk, noble deed. Nemo whaps her in the face since he's a Maxomi fan. Now she's covered in fish stink.

Naomi's waffling about telling Max even though she knows Nemo's rooting for them. The boys stream in, including Max. Naomi definitely wants Max now that she's seen him in handcuffs. Annie goes to find Caleb, and comes across a prostitute and the sire of Billy Ray. Austin can detect it's Annie because she's a brunette, and she doesn't sing like Ade. Austin has a soft spot for Annie because she's from Kansas and still eats bran. He clears Bree and Bree admits to the fire. Annie's saved once again. Until Ivy comes to yell at her for no apparent reason.

Silver enters the jail cell to look at her two losers....I mean, lovers. They're each dealing with the justice system in their own way. Navid's making a shiv out of a baby keyring. Liam's watching a video on his phone, and singing, "I'm an amendment to be, yes, an amendment to be, and I'm hoping that they'll ratify me." Silver's like I'm never having sex again...until Austin's made a regular. The guys demand that she make a decision. I demand this triangle end THIS season. Silver triangles just aren't entertaining to me. And yet they do it EVERY season. Gripe. Silver says she wants to have a baby in front of two 19-year old men. Yeah, that would make me want to be with her if I were them. Laughable junk. They stay quiet and then Liam asks Conjunction, Junction, what's your function? Silver takes Navid's Playskool keys and hits Liam in the chest. The sperm in here reeks, says Silver. See ya. Liam says I found two dollars for bail. Since Navid was in college for only two months, he goes along with the plan.

Adrianna runs over to Austin, saying she'll work for him. Austin says yay, now I don't have to be a rodeo clown! Rodeo? Are we going shopping? says Ade. Not without Annie, the brunette who can't sing. Ade feels that her career is safe now. Austin will protect her from Flotsam, Jetsem, Ursula, and Triton's pointy spear.

Annie made sure not to wear red at the church this time, and convinces Caleb that he's strong. She asks him to forgive himself and that he shouldn't feel guilty for wearing Forever 21 jeans. Forever 21? says Caleb. You're 21 so you should understand, insists Annie. That's when Ivy and Diego show. They need sanctuary, and Diego's got a better chance of getting caught since he's cuter than Quasimodo. PLL Raj has to ring the bells everyday to keep A away.

Naomi's waiting outside jail because of bad memories. She got out of jail due to overcrowding, but Max and Madison are getting out due to her fish stink. Max also has to pay bail for all his non-friends. Wow, what a guy. Naomi gives M/M her blessing. Max gives her his doubts. Shalalala, my oh my, Max too shy, he should kiss the girl.... Some of the best chemistry on this show. Anyway, Space Cadet comes out to threaten Maxomi like a piranha. She and Max walk away, and Max looks at Naomi before driving off. Single tear. :sad: Show me the meaning of being lonely.....

This was a very out-there ep, but I was entertained about seventy-five percent of the time. Besides the black abyss of the Silvermuda triangle, this was pretty good. Diego/Ivy are kinda frustrating, but I think it's ballsy they're tackling an immigrant storyline. I just wish the couple were well-developed, and they just pale in comparison to Rivy. Austin was likeable, and I enjoyed his scenes with Adrianna and Annie.

Love Max. He fit in decently with the boys, and Navid calling out Liam was much needed. I hope they all end up alone. Max/Naomi and Annie/Caleb should just love and have fun and be the awesomeness that they are.

I did like the friendship scenes with Ade/Silver, Ade/Naomi, Max/Navid, and the girls at the doctor's. Should they be that close? Probably not after all the drama but I love seeing the regulars act in the same scene.

I'll give this a B +. Free the sharks!

Bree became that type of girl, Austin found some dead squirrels, and will Ade get stirrups instead of a string of pearls? The lute play the flute, the carp play the harp......and all that blowfish blow!

priya1008

the silvermuda triangle.

Mayberry

Thanks for reading, babe. Your icon makes me smile, especially after watching the jail/limo scene a second time. Max looked more defeated crawling into the limo but now they're in a happy place!

I've also decided Silver should never visit Naomi's mansion with Max around. Ever.

fashionista22

Thanks for your excellent review, Mayberry! I LOLed several times.
I'm eagerly awaiting your finale review. Suggestion: write more about Max/Naomi

annierose

Great review Mayberry!! it's hilarious! especially the parts about annie and the priest in church and i almost forgot she comes from cansas so maybe that's why austin is being so sweet to her!! as for silver and the bee and navid's grandma..!!!LOL!!!!

you are definitly a genious!

maybe u should try tosend this to the writers it's better than the crap they wrote!
it reminded me of vampires suck (loling at twilight)!!
seriously u should try to write another one about the entire season 4 and no matter how long it will be i'll be so glad to read it!!

Mayberry

Thanks guys! I just watched Vampires Suck yesterday as a matter of fact. Matt Lanter was hilarious. I liked it a lot.

And any opportunity to write more Maxomi I'll take.

Chastidy

May, I watch for your reviews

Alexa

"but seriously liam? really?"

okay that was annies reaction to the "love of her life" sleeping with one of her best friends? I CANT. its just ridiculous that she didnt seem to mind. but i will try to get over it and pretend that they both had moved on at that point. but dumb.

at least liam/navid fighting means silver rarely interacts with either. lol. and now she wants a baby? so dumb. i cant stand her storylines.

love seeing max back! but madison turning crazy was weird.

i forgot that austin set up bree. wtf, that was kind of mean. but he protected annie again. LOVEEEEE their interaction. They shoulda dated.

im sick of the word love being thrown around. ivy in love with diego? caleb and annie in love? ridiculous.

Barstool Prophet

Aww, I loved Caleb. I wanted him to stick. Austin and Annie, I just wanted to be good friends. Bree, was kind of a ridiculous character who I just wanted off my screen. Ivy and Diego ? Yeah I just couldn't care about them. I tried but I was always like yeah, exit stage left please.

Chastidy

Ivy had such a lame ass exit. It was like they just didn't know or care what to do with her after her and Dixon split up.

Barstool Prophet

Honestly they should have written her off then..

Alexa

she should have just gone with diego.

Chastidy

I never see Gillian Zinser in anything nowadays.