[MistyMountainHop]

#26 - 3

[Grazzhopper]

With three votes, we must to...

BOB: So I attached a box of tissues to the sun visor, sold the idea for a bundle, and voilà. The Weeper Keeper was born.
RED: Oh God. Are you rich again?
BOB: Yep. I'm back to my I-can-buy-anything-I-want former self. Just picked up two sombreros and a case of Lik-M-Aid.
KITTY: Where are you gonna wear a sombrero, Bob?
BOB: Where won't I wear it?

---

Vote for your favorite! The quote with the most votes wins!

---

That 70s Show Season 4 Quotation Survivor!

“Donna Dates a Kelso” (4x16)

1.
Eliminated in Round 21

2.
Eliminated in Round 5

3.
Eliminated in Round 2

4.
Eliminated in Round 13

5.
Eliminated in Round 3

6.
Eliminated in Round 20

7.
Eliminated in Round 27

8.
Eliminated in Round 26

9.
RED [holding newspaper]: Hey, look here. That ‘58 Corvette down at the used-car lot is still for sale.
KITTY: Oh, and look here. That diamond bracelet down at the mall is still for sale.

10.
Eliminated in Round 22

11.
Eliminated in Round 28

12.
Eliminated in Round 1

13.
Eliminated in Round 12

14.
Eliminated in Round 16

15.
Eliminated in Round 25

16.
Eliminated in Round 17

17.
Eliminated in Round 6

18.
Eliminated in Round 14

19.
Eliminated in Round 8

20.
KITTY: Fez, honey, what are you … did you come for cake?
FEZ: No I ... do you have cake? No, no, no. I came—I came here because I have this ... friend.
KITTY: Oh, really? What's his name?
FEZ: Name? Uh, Johnny ... Table.

21.
Eliminated in Round 23

22.
Eliminated in Round 9

23.
Eliminated in Round 10

24.
Eliminated in Round 19

25.
Eliminated in Round 18

26.
Eliminated in Round 29

27.
Eliminated in Round 24

28.
Eliminated in Round 21

29.
Eliminated in Round 15

30.
Eliminated in Round 11

31.
Eliminated in Round 7

32.
Eliminated in Round 4

[MistyMountainHop]

I'm having trouble voting. The first quotation is funnier just reading it. The second quotation is funnier when I think of the actual scene and how Kitty and Fez deliver their lines.

[Grazzhopper]

They are both really funny, I do agree.

#9 ftw! - 1

[MistyMountainHop]

Originally Posted by Grazzhopper (View Post) They are both really funny, I do agree.

So you see my conundrum. But now I shall follow your lead.

#9 FTW! - 2

[Grazzhopper]

I figured you might.

[MistyMountainHop]

Originally Posted by Grazzhopper (View Post) I figured you might.

I was leaning toward nine, but ... I wanted to see what others thought.

[Grazzhopper]

Mission failed since you've only discovered what I think.

#9 ftw! - 2

[msstock87]

#9

[MistyMountainHop]

With three votees, the winner of the "Donna Dates a Kelso" (4x16) Quotation Survivor is ...

RED [holding newspaper]: Hey, look here. That ‘58 Corvette down at the used-car lot is still for sale.
KITTY: Oh, and look here. That diamond bracelet down at the mall is still for sale.

---


Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

---

That 70s Show Season 4 Quotation Survivor!

“Kelso’s Career” (4x17)

1.
Fez: Guys, look what I got for Big Rhonda. Oh, it's so nice to have a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day.
Kelso: Yeah, it definitely increases your chances of getting your fun stuff touched.
Eric: Well -- [looks down at his crotch] -- sorry, fun stuff! Looks like it's just you and me this year! [Looks up at Donna] Unless…
Donna [looking at Eric’s crotch]: Sorry, fun stuff.

2.
Fez [holding a heart-shaped box of candies]: Oh, Rhonda's going to love. I just have to not eat them until Valentine’s Day.
Hyde [takes the box of candy]: But you love candy.
Eric: Some would say it's an un-natural love.

3.
Fez: Yes, I do love candy. But I love Rhonda more.
Hyde [opens Fez’s box of candy]: Really? Because there's three pieces missing.
Fez [takes back the box]: Fine, I love her the same.

4.
Kelso: How was work?
Jackie [who works at the Cheese Palace in the local mall): I am so exhausted.
Eric: Yeah, the commute from Austria must be a real bitch.

5.
Jackie: A bus full of old people stopped by the Cheese Palace, and when they saw free samples, all hell broke loose. The good news is -- [removes an envelope from her purse] -- I got paid!
Kelso [takes the envelope]: Oh, that's great. Because Valentine’s Day is coming up and I needed you to give me money to tell me whatever foo-foo crap gift you want me to get.
Jackie [takes back the envelope]: Michael, I'm not doing that again. Last year I gave you money, and you bought a bag of plastic dinosaurs.
Kelso: For you!

6.
Jackie [to Kelso]: You need to make some cash and buy me something nice. Because I worked way too hard for my money, and you're not getting any! Ugh! I smell like hickory!

7.
Hyde [approaches Fez, whose back it to everyone]: Hey. Fez, how's it going with not eating the candy?
Fez [faces Hyde with chocolate covering his mouth]: Fine, thank you. [Eats a chocolate candy from the heart-shaped box.]

8.
The Hub.

Jackie: Oh, my god, Casey Kelso's here.
Donna: What? Oh my god, he is so fine!
Jackie: You know, if you marry Casey and I marry Michael, we could be like sisters! Yay! Go talk to him!
Donna: Oh, no.
Jackie: I wanna go baby shopping with you. Now go!

9.
Donna: Oh, my God! Casey.
Casey: Hey, Pinciotti. How ya been? Love the jeans.
Donna: Really? They're blue!

10.
Donna: Um, so what have you, like -- you know -- been up to?
Casey: I'm working part-time for the railroad. They leave a lot of stuff unlocked. You need any Cheerios or rebar?
Donna: No, I'm good, thanks.

11.
Casey: Well, listen, I'll give you a call sometime, but right now I have to see a guy. He's got a leather steering wheel cover.
Donna: Oh, yeah, for the Trans Am.
Casey: Yeah, I was thinking about using my GI bill for college, but Trans Ams just kick so much ass.
Donna: I love the Trans Am.
Casey: Everybody does.

12.
Donna [to Jackie]: [Casey’s] gonna call me!
Jackie: You gave him your number?
Donna: Of course I … didn't! Damn it!
Jackie: Oh, that's okay. Kelsos never call. They're like dogs. They're cute, but they can't work a phone.

13.
Kelso: Hey, Jackie. [Sits between Jackie and Donna at The Hub table.] I thought about what you said, about making money so I can get you a Valentine’s Day gift, right? And then I realized that'd mean a lot more if I gave you something that I crafted with my own two loving hands. [He opens a paper bag and removes a rock painted with the numbers 831. He places the rock on the table.]
Jackie: Oh, my, god, it's horrible!
Kelso: No, it's an address rock! You put it in your lawn! Happy Valentine’s Day, my love
Jackie: Michael, a rock is not a romantic gift, and that's not even my address!
Donna: That's my address! That's my dad's address rock!
Kelso: No, it isn't! [Grabs rock and runs out of The Hub.]

14.
The Formans’ Living Room

Eric: Hey, Dad, you want this? [Passes Red the newspaper.]
Red: Thanks, son! I love you.
Eric: I'm sorry, what?
Red: I love you! I really do.
Eric: Yeah … [laughs … yeah. [Dashes away from Red and up the stairs.]

15.
The Kelsos’ Front Door

Kelso [opens the front door from inside the house]: Donna what are you doing at my house?
Donna: Nothing. I just thought I'd come by and see what you were up to!
Kelso: Oh, you're here to see Casey, aren't you? [Shouting into the house:] Casey, your lover’s here! [To Donna, singing;] You love my brother. You're gonna do it [Casey yanks Kelso away from the door by the hair] Ow! Mom!
Donna: Thank you.
Casey: No problem.
Kelso [from inside the house]: Spaz face!

16.
Casey: Hey, there.
Donna: Hey. Um, you were gonna call me, and I remember I, like, never gave you my number. So, anyway, here's my number. [Gives Casey a slip of paper.]
Casey: You know, I was gonna get that from you tomorrow night when we go out.
Donna: We're going out?
Casey: I'll pick you up at The Hub after school. I'll be in the Trans Am.
Donna: I love the Trans Am!
Casey: Everybody does.

17.
Eric: Mom, was Dad abducted by aliens or replaced by an identical creature programmed to love?
Kitty: Honey, this is breakfast, don't ask me things.

18.
Eric: [Dad] told me he loved me.
Kitty: Your father? No.
Eric: Yeah.
Kitty: I think I know what happened! I gave your father an early Valentine’s Day card that said what a wonderful husband and father he is, and it rhymed, and maybe it touched him … It didn't look like it touched him. It's just he got up and got a beer. But maybe deep down … deep, deep, deep down, something woke up. I am so glad he loves you!

19.
Eric: But, Mom, this is weird. He's never said that -- ever. I mean, one time I saved him from getting hit by a lumber truck, and I think he was about to say it; but then he said, “Get in the car.” But how am I supposed to handle this? You think I should say it back? … He's gonna hit me.
Kitty: Maybe not.

20.
The Circle

Kelso: I can't believe that Jackie wants me to get a job. I mean, my plan has always been to coast through life on my good looks. I mean, look at me! It's like I was chiseled out of marble!

21.
The Circle

Eric: Okay, you guys, here it goes. Dad, I love you! I love you, Pop! Poppy. Pappy. … Daddy. No.

22.
The Circle

Fez [pours chocolate syrup on a chocolate Valentine’s candy]: Oh no. I have to -- I have to stop eating Rhonda's chocolates! [Pops the candy into his mouth.] I'm hopeless! [Drinks directly out of the can of chocolate syrup.]
Hyde: Kelso, if you need to make some quick cash, just sell your blood. [To Fez;] And you – [grabs can of chocolate syrup, but Fez maintains his own grip on it] -- yu've had enough of this!
Fez: No, I can stop any time I want!

23.
The Circle

Kelso: I am not selling blood. I mean, there's no way that anything inside of my body is coming out for cash.
Eric: Well, that's too bad, Kelso, 'cause I hear there's this clinic in Madison that'll pay you for your, um, “manly donations”.
Kelso: Manly donations? No way! They'll pay you for that? Well I'll do it. I'm good at that!

24.
Sperm Bank

Kelso [filling out a form on a clipboard]: Do I have any serious medical conditions? Puked after Crunch-Berry- eating contest.
Receptionist: You know what, I'll just finish that for you. [Takes clipboard.]
Kelso: Thank you!

25.
Sperm Bank

Receptionist: Now, Mr. … Chang, you'll be in Room 2. Some clients prefer a magazine. Would you like one?
Kelso: Nah. Farrah was on Carson last night, I should be good to go.

26.
Eric: Okay, so I was in the kitchen, and Red came in, and I was gonna tell him I loved him. But, uh, then he said if my hair got any longer, he was gonna buy me a pair of boobs.
Hyde: Yeah, you're in a tough spot. But just know I'm here for you … because I love you.

27.
Hyde [to Fez]: You know what would make Forman feel better? A piece of that candy
Fez: No, no, no. There's only nine left. I will guard them with my life.

28.
Kelso: Easiest money ever made. They paid me fifty buck for my underpants navy.
Hyde: You mean your corduroy commandos?
Fez: Yeah, your team from the inseam?
Eric: Your Battlepants Galactica?
Hyde: Battlepants Galactica. Nice one. Wow.
Eric: It just came to me. Thank you.

29.
Kelso: Man, this job is the greatest! It combines all my interests, hobbies, and skills into one money-making endeavor! I'm gonna get Jackie a sweet gift

30.
Donna: All right, Kelso, where's your moron brother? He was supposed to meet me at The Hub, and he totally blew me off!
Eric: Whoa, a Kelso blew you off? Oh, my God, what a shock! Oh, hey, Colonel Mustard called; he said get a clue.

31.
Kelso [to Donna]: You know, if you're mad at Casey, why don't you go yell at him. I'm too tired from working all day to argue.
Fez: Oh, to be a working stiff.

32.
Kitty: So, Red, you big old softy! Did anything special happen yesterday
Red: Special? Oh, let's see. The dentist called with a cancellation, so I went in, and that sadistic son-of-a-bitch found a cavity! Next thing I know, I'm hopped up on drugs and he's taking a jackhammer to my jaw! I spent the rest of the day in a fog.
Kitty: Oh, no. Oh, my God. You don't remember what you said to Eric?
Red: Kitty, I don't even remember how I got home!

33.
Eric: All right, Dad, look -- I've tried to figure out the right words, and then I realized I just gotta say it. So …
Kitty: Wait, Eric--
Eric: Mom, please. Dad, I--
Kitty: No, don't! He was drugged!
Eric: --love you.
Red [angry]: Go to your room!

34.
Fez: Rhonda's going to be so disappointed. All that remains is one lonely candy. [Lifts the first layer of the chocolate box, revealing another layer full of chocolates.] Look! More candies! It's a Valentine's Day miracle. Oh, candy, you've got me under your spell! [Begins eating the candies.]

35.
Kelso: I couldn't wait until Valentine’s Day, so here. [Gives Jackie a small gift box.]
Jackie [opens the box: Oh, my God – Michael, these earrings are gorgeous!
Hyde: Big day at the office?
Kelso: Yeah, I worked a double shift.

36.
Jackie: Wait, wait. You got a job? Michael, I am so proud of you!
Kelso: Oh, no. If it wasn't for you pushing me, I would have never realized how good it feels to roll up my sleeves, get a little sweaty, and earn some cash!
Jackie: Oh, this is so exciting! I can't wait to go visit you at work!
Hyde: That'll speed things up!

37.
Jackie: What's [Steven] talking about?
Kelso: Oh, I've been selling my love nectar.
Jackie: What? Michael, you can't do that! You're hot! Women are gonna want to take your little Kelsos home!
Hyde: My God, she's right. Think about it: a world full of Kelsos. Libraries will fall into disrepair. There'd be feathered hair as far as the eye can see. We'll have to put padding on every sharp corner!
Kelso: Those sharp corners could be hazardous, man! I mean, come on: it's 1978. Things should be round by now!

38.
Donna [angry]: Hey, Casey!
Casey: Hey, Pinciotti!
Donna: What the hell happened to you? I was waiting at The Hub!
Casey: See, the thing is, when I went to go pick up the steering wheel cover, the Trans Am was running kind of rough, so I thought I'd rebuild the carburetor.
Donna: But I was waiting at The Hub!
Casey: Well, you want a smooth ride, don't you?

39.
Donna: I just think that if you say you're gonna be someplace, that you should be there.
Casey: I guess I flaked. I just got this thing where a lot of times I don't show up. I don't know what to do about it.
Donna: How about showing up?
Casey: I guess I could give that a shot.
Donna: So this'll never happen again?
Casey: No, I'm pretty sure it'll happen again. But we'll light that firecracker when we come to it.
Donna: Fair enough.

40.
Donna: I can't believe this. When I got here, I was so mad at you, and I already totally forgave you.
Casey: Everybody does.

41.
Sperm Bank

Receptionist [to Jackie]: I'm sorry, miss, but I can't give it to you. The donor is the only one who has legal rights over the specimen.
Jackie: Fine! [To Kelso]: Michael, you get them! You're the only one who has rights over your special men!
Kelso: Jackie, what do you care what I do with my special men?
Receptionist: Specimen! I said specimen!

42.
Sperm Bank

Jackie [to Kelso]: I care [about what you do with your special men]! Because if there are gonna be any Kelso babies -- well, I want them to be ours.
Kelso: You wanna have my children?
Jackie: Yeah. If you get rich and don't lose your hair. Because I love you!
Kelso: I love you, too.

43.
Sperm Bank

Receptionist [watching Jackie and Kelso make out]: You can't do that here!
Kelso: Oh, yeah. She's right. [Grabs key from the front desk.] We'll be in Room 2.

44.
The Formans’ Den

Eric: Dad.
Red: Oh, crap. I was hoping that you wouldn't find me back here.
Eric: Well that's a good icebreaker.

45.
Eric: Look, about the love incident--
Red: All right, stop right there. There are only a few times in life when it's acceptable for a man to use that phrase: when he's drunk, when he's dying, or when he's in big trouble and that's the only way out -- which usually means he's drunk.
Eric: Other than that?
Red: Other than that it's just a given.
Eric: Hey, you just kinda told me--
Red: No, I didn't.
Eric: Yes, you did.
Red: Well, I'm drunk. Clearly I'm drunk.
Eric: Daddy, be my Valentine!
Red: Do I have to hit you? Go to your room!

46.
Kelso: Good news! My boys are back in friendly hands.
Donna: Ironically, that's just where they started their journey.
Hyde: It's a shame, Kelso. It's the one job that I knew you could've been a success at.
Kelso: Thanks, Hyde.

47.
Eric: Kelso, get that nasty bag of genetics out of my basement.
Kelso: This bag? [Tosses paper bag onto the couch, and everyone leaps away.] Burn! It's just a big bag of candy!
Fez: Candy? What kind of candy?

[Grazzhopper]

#46 - 1

[MistyMountainHop]

This might be a record for the amount of quotations (since I've been coming up with them) for an episode.

#46 - 2

[Grazzhopper]

Yeah, I did think that as well. Like "holy hell, how can I even pick quotation #46?!"

[MistyMountainHop]

Originally Posted by Grazzhopper (View Post) Yeah, I did think that as well. Like "holy hell, how can I even pick quotation #46?!"

So, basically, you closed your eyes and placed your finger randomly on the screen, and it hit #46?

This episode turned out to be quite joke/humor heavy. Hence, the number of quotations. I was surprised how many there are, though. Usually, the number runs abound thirty and change.

I actually have a favorite quotation from this group (not that I remember which one it is at the moment. Too ... many ... quotations). But I will when someone votes against it.

[Grazzhopper]

No. I went through the list, made my decision and when I wrote it down, I noticed the number.

#46 - 2

I'll give it one more day.