T7S Survivor Thread #32: Season Four Quotation Survivor -- “Kelso's Career" (4x17)
 

Originally posted by Lulu in the previous thread:

With three votes (including mine), we must :sadwave: to...

RED: Here's my problem with cats. Best-case scenario: you get the smartest cat in the world. He still craps in your house.
KITTY: Well, it's just -- it would be nice to have something to take care of.
RED: I'll tell you what, Kitty. Instead of getting a cat, why don't we all just stop flushing? It's the same thing!

---

Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

---


1.
Eliminated in Round 16 - TIE

2.
Eliminated in Round 1

3.
Eliminated in Round 19

4.
Eliminated in Round 2

5.
Eliminated in Round 12

6.
KITTY: Have you seen that little stray cat that's been hanging around our house?
RED: Oh, yeah. I met him this morning. Then he met the hose. Kitty, we don't need more things hanging around our house. We already have Steven and Kelso ... and foreign kid.

7.
Eliminated in Round 21

8.
Eliminated in Round 5

9.
Eliminated in Round 6

10.
RED: Surprise! This ought to keep you company during the week.
KITTY: Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat!
RED: Well, it's like a cat.
KITTY: A fish? Red, it's a fish.
RED: See? It's like a cat. They're both pets.
KITTY: No, they're not. Pets are called pets because you pet them. How do I pet this thing?
RED: Well, you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. That's the thing about fish: they just love the feel of the human hand.

11.
Eliminated in Round 15

12.
Eliminated in Round 9

13.
Eliminated in Round 4

14.
Eliminated in Round 3

15.
Eliminated in Round 16 - TIE

16.
Eliminated in Round 8

17.
Eliminated in Round 7

18.
Eliminated in Round 20

19.
RED: Kitty? What happened?
KITTY: Fluffy died.
RED: Well, if it's any consolation, fish are never even really alive. They're just less dead.

20.
Eliminated in Round 13

21.
Eliminated in Round 14

22.
Eliminated in Round 10

23.
Eliminated in Round 17

24.
Eliminated in Round 11

25.
Eliminated in Round 18

26.
DONNA: Cousin Penny went back home, huh? Oh, wait, did I say cousin? Yeah, I meant cousin. Looks like that's two hot girls you can't have.
ERIC: Well, thank you for such a conservative estimate.

Oh, it's time for a new thread! :eek:

#19 - 1

'Twas time for a new thread. :nod:

---

#6 - 1
#19 - 1

#19

#6

With two votes each, we must :sadwave: to...

KITTY: Have you seen that little stray cat that's been hanging around our house?
RED: Oh, yeah. I met him this morning. Then he met the hose. Kitty, we don't need more things hanging around our house. We already have Steven and Kelso ... and foreign kid.

AND

RED: Kitty? What happened?
KITTY: Fluffy died.
RED: Well, if it's any consolation, fish are never even really alive. They're just less dead.

---

Vote for your favorite! The quote with the most votes wins!

---


1.
Eliminated in Round 16 - TIE

2.
Eliminated in Round 1

3.
Eliminated in Round 19

4.
Eliminated in Round 2

5.
Eliminated in Round 12

6.
Eliminated in Round 22 - TIE

7.
Eliminated in Round 21

8.
Eliminated in Round 5

9.
Eliminated in Round 6

10.
RED: Surprise! This ought to keep you company during the week.
KITTY: Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat!
RED: Well, it's like a cat.
KITTY: A fish? Red, it's a fish.
RED: See? It's like a cat. They're both pets.
KITTY: No, they're not. Pets are called pets because you pet them. How do I pet this thing?
RED: Well, you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. That's the thing about fish: they just love the feel of the human hand.

11.
Eliminated in Round 15

12.
Eliminated in Round 9

13.
Eliminated in Round 4

14.
Eliminated in Round 3

15.
Eliminated in Round 16 - TIE

16.
Eliminated in Round 8

17.
Eliminated in Round 7

18.
Eliminated in Round 20

19.
Eliminated in Round 22 - TIE

20.
Eliminated in Round 13

21.
Eliminated in Round 14

22.
Eliminated in Round 10

23.
Eliminated in Round 17

24.
Eliminated in Round 11

25.
Eliminated in Round 18

26.
DONNA: Cousin Penny went back home, huh? Oh, wait, did I say cousin? Yeah, I meant cousin. Looks like that's two hot girls you can't have.
ERIC: Well, thank you for such a conservative estimate.

#10 ftw

With three votes, the winner of the "Eric's Hot Cousin" (4x14) Quotation Survivor is ...

RED: Surprise! This ought to keep you company during the week.
KITTY: Roy's Pet Store? Red, you got me a cat!
RED: Well, it's like a cat.
KITTY: A fish? Red, it's a fish.
RED: See? It's like a cat. They're both pets.
KITTY: No, they're not. Pets are called pets because you pet them. How do I pet this thing?
RED: Well, you just reach in and corner it and give it a rub. That's the thing about fish: they just love the feel of the human hand.

:star: :star: :star:


Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

---


1.
KELSO: Hey, guys. It is literally a million degrees out. I'm wearing shorts in January! Have you ever seen prettier legs on a fella?
JACKIE: Michael, we'll admire your legs later.

2.
JACKIE: Snow Prom is tomorrow. We need to keep up our campaign for Snow Queen and Snow King.
KELSO: Jackie, I did campaign. I wrote our names all over the place.
ERIC: Kelso, you peed in the snow.
KELSO: In cursive! It was awesome.

3.
JACKIE: You may not take this seriously, but I do. I used to be a rich, popular girl. But now that my dad has cut me off, I'm not rich, so I have to be twice as popular.
DONNA: Maybe you should spend less time worrying about being popular and more time being thoughtful, friendly, considerate.
JACKIE: Okay, can I get a translation because that was gibberish.

4.
ERIC: Whoa, whoa. Hyde, you're going to a school dance? You're going to stink-bomb the teachers' lounge, aren't you? I want in!
HYDE: No, man. Kid stuff. See, during the dance, I'm going to throw a party in Coach Ferguson's office. I'm bringing my best stuff.
FEZ: A party with your best stuff? Are you saying what I think you're saying?
HYDE: You know it.
FEZ: Oh boy, you have a piñata?

5.
ERIC: It's weird. I feel like I'm forgetting something. I've got my watch, my wallet, my who-am-I-kidding condom.
HYDE: Yeah, sounds like you got everything except for a tall redhead.
ERIC; Yeah. What man doesn't love a tall red … oh, my God, Donna! I forgot Donna.

6.
VICE PRINCIPAL COLE: I have a serious announcement: a tornado warning has been issued. I'm told it's code red. I don't know the codes, but red sounds serious.

7.
JACKIE: Michael, this is my worst nightmare.
KELSO: A tornado is your worst nightmare? Mine's monsters.

8.
JACKIE: How could I be runner-up [for Snow Queen]? If I'm not a rich, popular girl, I'm nothing. I'm like Donna.

9.
KELSO: No, Jackie, you are the girlfriend to the Snow King. Now, as Snow King, I must lead my people to safety. All right, everyone! Everyone, follow me! [He opens a closet, and all kinds of gym balls pour out.] Remain calm, people! These are just sports balls! Everyone grab a ball!

10.
KITTY: Red, if Eric gets caught in a tornado, he'll get blown to Canada. He's very light.

11.
RED: Kitty, the gym is the town's bomb shelter. He'll be fine. I just hope he's not crying. Everybody knows he's my kid.

12.
KITTY: Okay, you're right. Eric's fine. Let's just talk about something else.
BOB: Ooh! You know, Joanne taught me a lot about lady orgasms. They've been around longer than I thought.
KITTY: Okay, so talking's bad.

13.
KITTY: I know, charades!
RED: No, thanks.
JOANNE: What are you, chicken?
RED: Did you just call me chicken? That's it. Move the couch, Kitty. She's going down.

14.
KELSO: People of the make-out stairwell, this is your Snow King speaking.
FEZ: Boo! Hit the lights, fool!
KELSO: No, there's a tornado. Everyone go to the gym. The Snow King has spoken! [People toss things at him.] All right, that's gross. Who threw the retainer?

15.
RHONDA: Oh, my God, Fez! A tornado? This changes everything. This could be our last night here on earth.
FEZ: Oh, no. I'm going to die a virgin.
RHONDA: Not if I have anything to say about it.
FEZ: You can talk all you want, but there's a tornado coming.

16.
ERIC: Donna, look, I'm sorry I'm late. I really did want to pick you up before the dance. So it's no big deal, really.
DONNA: No big deal? It's a huge deal. I was in back filing records, and suddenly everyone was gone, and I was stuck here alone. And you risked the tornado for me.
ERIC: Tornado? What tornado … could stop me from helping you?

17.
ERIC: So, uh, tell me, um … is the tornado, like, um … like, out there?
DONNA: Yeah. They say it's a biggie.
ERIC: Oh.
DONNA: Eric, are you okay?
ERIC: Sure. Uh, it's just that now that I know you're okay, I can finally start worrying about me. And, see, the thing about me is … I don't want to die!

18.
ERIC: So, what to do? Let's see … there's you, there's me, candlelight. You know, back in the old days we would have--
DONNA: We're not doing that.
ERIC: Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. So quick to dismiss the thing you once ached for.
DONNA: You mean cheese sticks?
ERIC: If you want to call it that, sure.

19.
[Kitty is acting out dancing for charades.]

RED: Gyrating. Twisting. Uh … hips! You make me feel like hips!
BOB: Time! We win.
KITTY: I was dancing! “You make me feel like hips'”?
RED: It could have been a song.
JOANNE: Is it hard to lose, Red? ‘Cause you make it look so easy.

20.
COACH FERGUSON: You're in big trouble, bud.
HYDE: You should suspend me. I need a vacation.

21.
[During a circle.]

COACH FERGUSON: Hey, Hyde, when this is all over, you think we'll still be friends?
HYDE: Well, my head says no, but my heart … says no.

22.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

KELSO: Jackie, why'd you make me the Scarecrow? He needs a brain.
JACKIE: No. No, I made you the Scarecrow because you love chasing birds.
KELSO: I do love chasing birds.

23.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

FEZ: Look, guys! I'm a bear.
JACKIE: Fez, you're the Cowardly Lion.
FEZ: But I want to be a bear.
KELSO: At least you got a brain.

24.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

JACKIE: Miss Wizard, I'm confused. I lost Snow Queen. And now I'm wondering if titles and popularity aren't as important as being a good person.
GLINDA: Well, how do you know when you're a good person? When everyone likes you, right? When you're popular. And how do you know when you're popular?
JACKIE: Oh, my God! When you win titles like Snow Queen! Winning titles and being a good person are the same thing.
GLINDA: So you go after that title, child.
JACKIE: Oh, I will, Miss Wizard. I will.
GLINDA: And remember: if someone calls you shallow, they're just jealous.

25.
VICE PRINCIPAL COLE: Tornado passed through, is heading to Illinois. Kiss my ass, Chicago!
RHONDA: Oh, my God, we're safe! Sex just doesn't seem important anymore.
FEZ: I disagree, and here's why—
RHONDA: Let's go celebrate with everyone! [She leaves.
FEZ: Oh, you can make a tornado, but you can't let me do it? No, you are not a just God!

26.
[Red, Kitty, Joanne, and Bob are playing Monopoly.]

RED [about to roll the dice]: Okay, no six. No six. And … six!
JOANNE: Look, Park Place.
BOB: Ah, Park Place. Pay up.
KITTY: I told you we shouldn't spend all our money on Marvin Gardens.
RED: Oh, and Baltic Avenue was such a help.
KITTY: I bought that with my beauty-contest winnings.

27.
[Red, Kitty, Joanne, and Bob are playing Monopoly.]

JOANNE: Mm, poor Red. Losing again while we have this large housing development that I like to call Joanne Land. Where's Red Land? I can't see it.
RED: I'll tell you where it is. It's right up your--
KITTY: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Shh.
MAN ON TV: This just in: the National Weather Service has canceled the tornado warning. And updating our top story, a local teen is in critical condition...

Red picks up the Monopoly board.]

KITTY: Oh, game over. Call it a tie.
BOB: A tie? We had all the money.
RED: So? We had the get-out-of-jail-free card. And you can't put a price on freedom.

28.
KELSO: Look, Jackie, I know you're upset, and I don't know why you're not Snow Queen. But I do know this: I am Snow King, so that's pretty cool.

#6

With three votes, we must :sadwave: to...

VICE PRINCIPAL COLE: I have a serious announcement: a tornado warning has been issued. I'm told it's code red. I don't know the codes, but red sounds serious.

---

Vote for your least favorite! First quote with 3 votes or the most votes after 2 days is voted off

---


1.
KELSO: Hey, guys. It is literally a million degrees out. I'm wearing shorts in January! Have you ever seen prettier legs on a fella?
JACKIE: Michael, we'll admire your legs later.

2.
JACKIE: Snow Prom is tomorrow. We need to keep up our campaign for Snow Queen and Snow King.
KELSO: Jackie, I did campaign. I wrote our names all over the place.
ERIC: Kelso, you peed in the snow.
KELSO: In cursive! It was awesome.

3.
JACKIE: You may not take this seriously, but I do. I used to be a rich, popular girl. But now that my dad has cut me off, I'm not rich, so I have to be twice as popular.
DONNA: Maybe you should spend less time worrying about being popular and more time being thoughtful, friendly, considerate.
JACKIE: Okay, can I get a translation because that was gibberish.

4.
ERIC: Whoa, whoa. Hyde, you're going to a school dance? You're going to stink-bomb the teachers' lounge, aren't you? I want in!
HYDE: No, man. Kid stuff. See, during the dance, I'm going to throw a party in Coach Ferguson's office. I'm bringing my best stuff.
FEZ: A party with your best stuff? Are you saying what I think you're saying?
HYDE: You know it.
FEZ: Oh, boy, you have a piñata?

5.
ERIC: It's weird. I feel like I'm forgetting something. I've got my watch, my wallet, my who-am-I-kidding condom.
HYDE: Yeah, sounds like you got everything except for a tall redhead.
ERIC; Yeah. What man doesn't love a tall red … oh, my God, Donna! I forgot Donna.

6.
Eliminated in Round 1

7.
JACKIE: Michael, this is my worst nightmare.
KELSO: A tornado is your worst nightmare? Mine's monsters.

8.
JACKIE: How could I be runner-up [for Snow Queen]? If I'm not a rich, popular girl, I'm nothing. I'm like Donna.

9.
KELSO: No, Jackie, you are the girlfriend to the Snow King. Now, as Snow King, I must lead my people to safety. All right, everyone! Everyone, follow me! [He opens a closet, and all kinds of gym balls pour out.] Remain calm, people! These are just sports balls! Everyone grab a ball!

10.
KITTY: Red, if Eric gets caught in a tornado, he'll get blown to Canada. He's very light.

11.
RED: Kitty, the gym is the town's bomb shelter. He'll be fine. I just hope he's not crying. Everybody knows he's my kid.

12.
KITTY: Okay, you're right. Eric's fine. Let's just talk about something else.
BOB: Ooh! You know, Joanne taught me a lot about lady orgasms. They've been around longer than I thought.
KITTY: Okay, so talking's bad.

13.
KITTY: I know, charades!
RED: No, thanks.
JOANNE: What are you, chicken?
RED: Did you just call me chicken? That's it. Move the couch, Kitty. She's going down.

14.
KELSO: People of the make-out stairwell, this is your Snow King speaking.
FEZ: Boo! Hit the lights, fool!
KELSO: No, there's a tornado. Everyone go to the gym. The Snow King has spoken! [People toss things at him.] All right, that's gross. Who threw the retainer?

15.
RHONDA: Oh, my God, Fez! A tornado? This changes everything. This could be our last night here on earth.
FEZ: Oh, no. I'm going to die a virgin.
RHONDA: Not if I have anything to say about it.
FEZ: You can talk all you want, but there's a tornado coming.

16.
ERIC: Donna, look, I'm sorry I'm late. I really did want to pick you up before the dance. So it's no big deal, really.
DONNA: No big deal? It's a huge deal. I was in back filing records, and suddenly everyone was gone, and I was stuck here alone. And you risked the tornado for me.
ERIC: Tornado? What tornado … could stop me from helping you?

17.
ERIC: So, uh, tell me, um … is the tornado, like, um … like, out there?
DONNA: Yeah. They say it's a biggie.
ERIC: Oh.
DONNA: Eric, are you okay?
ERIC: Sure. Uh, it's just that now that I know you're okay, I can finally start worrying about me. And, see, the thing about me is … I don't want to die!

18.
ERIC: So, what to do? Let's see … there's you, there's me, candlelight. You know, back in the old days we would have--
DONNA: We're not doing that.
ERIC: Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. So quick to dismiss the thing you once ached for.
DONNA: You mean cheese sticks?
ERIC: If you want to call it that, sure.

19.
[Kitty is acting out dancing for charades.]

RED: Gyrating. Twisting. Uh … hips! You make me feel like hips!
BOB: Time! We win.
KITTY: I was dancing! “You make me feel like hips'”?
RED: It could have been a song.
JOANNE: Is it hard to lose, Red? ‘Cause you make it look so easy.

20.
COACH FERGUSON: You're in big trouble, bud.
HYDE: You should suspend me. I need a vacation.

21.
[During a circle.]

COACH FERGUSON: Hey, Hyde, when this is all over, you think we'll still be friends?
HYDE: Well, my head says no, but my heart … says no.

22.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

KELSO: Jackie, why'd you make me the Scarecrow? He needs a brain.
JACKIE: No. No, I made you the Scarecrow because you love chasing birds.
KELSO: I do love chasing birds.

23.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

FEZ: Look, guys! I'm a bear.
JACKIE: Fez, you're the Cowardly Lion.
FEZ: But I want to be a bear.
KELSO: At least you got a brain.

24.
[Jackie’s The Wizard of Oz dream.]

JACKIE: Miss Wizard, I'm confused. I lost Snow Queen. And now I'm wondering if titles and popularity aren't as important as being a good person.
GLINDA: Well, how do you know when you're a good person? When everyone likes you, right? When you're popular. And how do you know when you're popular?
JACKIE: Oh, my God! When you win titles like Snow Queen! Winning titles and being a good person are the same thing.
GLINDA: So you go after that title, child.
JACKIE: Oh, I will, Miss Wizard. I will.
GLINDA: And remember: if someone calls you shallow, they're just jealous.

25.
VICE PRINCIPAL COLE: Tornado passed through, is heading to Illinois. Kiss my ass, Chicago!
RHONDA: Oh, my God, we're safe! Sex just doesn't seem important anymore.
FEZ: I disagree, and here's why—
RHONDA: Let's go celebrate with everyone! [She leaves.
FEZ: Oh, you can make a tornado, but you can't let me do it? No, you are not a just God!

26.
[Red, Kitty, Joanne, and Bob are playing Monopoly.]

RED [about to roll the dice]: Okay, no six. No six. And … six!
JOANNE: Look, Park Place.
BOB: Ah, Park Place. Pay up.
KITTY: I told you we shouldn't spend all our money on Marvin Gardens.
RED: Oh, and Baltic Avenue was such a help.
KITTY: I bought that with my beauty-contest winnings.

27.
[Red, Kitty, Joanne, and Bob are playing Monopoly.]

JOANNE: Mm, poor Red. Losing again while we have this large housing development that I like to call Joanne Land. Where's Red Land? I can't see it.
RED: I'll tell you where it is. It's right up your--
KITTY: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Shh.
MAN ON TV: This just in: the National Weather Service has canceled the tornado warning. And updating our top story, a local teen is in critical condition...

[Red picks up the Monopoly board.]

KITTY: Oh, game over. Call it a tie.
BOB: A tie? We had all the money.
RED: So? We had the get-out-of-jail-free card. And you can't put a price on freedom.

28.
KELSO: Look, Jackie, I know you're upset, and I don't know why you're not Snow Queen. But I do know this: I am Snow King, so that's pretty cool.