Cadenf

A place where we can share stories and seek advice about kids

Tina

Thanks for creating this thread.

Sunrise at Midnight

I shared this in our humor thread but it's very fitting for here..

For parents with little boys:
Relax, Your Penis Won't Fall Off


Thanks for getting this started

Cadenf

So, I need some advice on discipline. My oldest (she will be 5 in October) has been acting out A LOT lately. Kicking, hitting, etc and I am not sure how to deal with this, so I was looking for some advice.

Thanks!

Sunrise at Midnight

Is she doing this to everyone or a select few? And have you noticed a trigger?

My niece wnt through something similar, turned it it was jelsouy towards her older sister ( 3 years apart). And it was the only way she knew how to release her frustration.

My sister had success with telling her that as soon as she like she was getting upset to go get her favorite stuffed animal, tell it what was making her upset and if she still wanted to hit something hit her pillow. My sister would stand at the door to listen and that's how she heard her sister was the issue. There was a lot of pillow hitting for a week. And then she stopped and would just talk to her stuffed animal and come back out just fine. She jut needed a way to vent.

hang in there it will get better

Cadenf

It is to me, my husband and her sister.

She doesn't get her way the second she wants it and then she gets out of control really quickly.

It would be a little different but I can not control her when she gets like that and that worries me.

I can try having her talk to her stuffed animal, but she goes from 0-60 super quickly, so is there an easy way to get her to do this the first time?

*Lethe's Bramble*

I don't have kids but I work with teenagers and well those can be a handful

Sunrise at Midnight

Sounds very similar to my niece. If I remember correctly she was told the first time if she didn't calm down and listen to the new rule she would have to tell her friends why she couldn't go to a sleepover and was not allowed to do anything fun for awhile. That if she wanted to be a part of the family there would be respect given and if she didn't she would be left with her grandparents while they went out as a family to bush gardens or the zoo..and while she was at grandmas house there would be no fun...my sister doesn't believe in spanking...so using words was a big thing for her...

I don't think there really is an easy way to approach it. But to just remember that something is causing the outburst and not to be afraid to try different approaches


My sister also had this jar for a while with the girls names on it if they were good they got a green ticket and if they were bad they got a red, if there was one red ticket they lost a few green ones...at the end of the month they could turn in the green ones for a prize, bit if they had more than 4 red put in there was no reward. That worked for a bit...

i never learn

my advice: put the fear of god in the little cretin.

Sunrise at Midnight

^


I think it's important to remember that this does not make you a bad parent. I'm pretty sure about 90% experience this.

I found this site Temper Tantrums: Guidelines for Parents. It's geared toward the younger 4 and under but could give some ideas that you could modify

MarieSD

I am a retired teacher who has taught grades K-College. Although I do not have kids of my own I can give you some thoughts from one teacher's perspective. I've always followed three basic words in my classroom: firm, fair, consistent. Let me explain -

Firm - Decide upon your rules and their boundaries, then make them clear for your child. Don't overwhelm them. Young children need rules explained clearly. You can allow them a choice in making those rules but at 5 years I suggest only two choices. All the while make it clear you will follow through.

Fair - Let them know there are consequences to their actions, both good and bad. Try to point out that when you're good, they'll be good consequences. When you're bad, they'll be bad consequences. Try to make the consequences very logical. If you have other children make sure they all follow these rules, adjusting them to their ages. (Example - lights out at bedtime but that time is earlier for the younger children and gradually later for the older ones.)

Consistent - This is really important and where a lot of parents fall short. It can get tiring when you have a very persistent child but if you've have been firm and made sure they know what you expect, been fair and logical, then being consistent will get easier. At first they'll test you but when they see you're sticking to your words they'll change. The key is DON'T GIVE UP.

If you have any questions feel free to ask.

Sunrise at Midnight

That is great advice MarieSD

Tina

That's really good advice.

Aurora Cormier

That's awesome advice

Cadenf

Thank you!

I also found a book, raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child, so I will check that out also!