sunnykerr

To be clear, I wasn't talking about clinical depression there. More like the persistent low-key depressive state that I go through. I didn't mean to make light of anyone's struggle. I just wanted to share what has worked for me.

sourburst

Oh I can see what you mean now then.

Meliana

I hope you are starting to deal with your grief now, Jade.

At the moment I get depressive thoughts running through my head and can ignore them most of the time, but it worries me that they are there at all.

I think you need to find places to go and things to do, Leanne. Distracting yourself is hard when there's not much else to think about.

I'm glad it's getting easier for you, Kim.

sourburst

That's exactly what I said to my GP the other week. It's not so much thoughts of wanting to kill myself that scare me, it's thoughts of not knowing why I'm here that do.

Meliana

I understand that. The thoughts are usually along the lines of things would be easier if I just wasn't here, that kind of thing.

sourburst

^Exactly.

I'm having another bad day. Doing work from home and haven't left bed all day, been crying none stop since about 5:30pm. Keep telling myself to wait for it to pass. Tried to go to the shop today for some cookies, and my anxiety went through the roof and stopped me from going.

Meliana

I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I hope things improve soon.

sourburst

Me too, I'm hoping i've got the willpower to get out of bed tomorrow.

sunnykerr

Don't be too hard on yourself. You're already fighting something big, don't start fighting yourself as well.

sourburst

Although I've been washing I haven't shaved or washed my hair or done anything major. But I got up today and showered, did my hair etc and feel a bit better.

There You'll Be

Jade, are you going to get to see a psychiatrist (or what we call a psychiatrist). Or seeing a counselor? Or, is that what a GP is? I'm thinking GP is a General dr, who does your overall health.

I am really sorry you're having such a hard time. I understand not wanting to take care of yourself, and not feeling up to taking care of yourself.

I'm in the feeling sorry for myself phase, for being living with family, but disliked by my mother, and not seeing much of my brother, so feeling alone. Worse than that, feeling alone and unwanted. I signed up for a class, but I'm not being allowed to use the car for a majority of the days. (On disability, I'm not allowed to own a car of my own).

At any rate, I have a call in to work out government public transportation, or try to anyway. So, cross your fingers for me.

Meliana

Having a class to go to sounds very positive, Kim. I hope you find transport. Feeling lonely is really not very nice.

sunnykerr

Kim, could you call the administration office of the centre offering those classes to see what they have to say about transportation? Maybe they could point you to some options you don't know exist.

There You'll Be

I got signed up yesterday for the government bus-they drop you off, and come back at a specific time you request.

So I wouldn't be sitting there for hours waiting for a ride home.

Collins

I hate the feelings of when I start to get really depressed again. I try so hard to stay positive and strong, but lately it hasn't been enough. I end up turning to bad things to help myself cope and I wish everything would just be better.