Fan Forum - LG Talk Show Thread #2 ~ 'Cause that's what she lives for by the way!

Yeah! yep, it's new. Kimmel's main page has her down for Friday! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

and whoo hoo on Kelly!

Kilborn Transcript
Transcribed by me

Quote:

Lauren Graham on Kilborn: November 27, 2003

INT. Kilborn stage

[Applause]

Craig
Next guest, beautiful, talented actress who stars in the hit series "Gilmore girls." Her new film, "Bad Santa" is out.

[Bad Santa clip]

Willie
She looks kind of still, doesn't she? Hey, granny? Hey, granny? Hey, there, granny? Oh, granny?

Sue
Oh, my god.

Grandmother
Roger?

Willie
Damn it. Please, tap me or something.

INT. Kilborn stage

Craig
Please welcome back to the show, Lauren Graham.

[Applause]

Lauren
Yeah. Yeah.

Craig
To me it wreaks of sophistication.

Lauren
Oh, really?

Craig
It reeks of class.

Lauren
So it's neither .. neither sexy nor conservative? I guess.

Craig
It's in the middle because it is so awfully tight.

Lauren
Right. Whoa!

Craig
And yet there is not a lot of skin showing. So it�s conservative.

Lauren
It is sexy secretary, maybe? No?

Craig
Yeah.

Lauren
I just feel you probably had enough halter tops this week.

Craig
That's all we have on this show.

Lauren
I know.

Craig
I love saying halter tops.

Lauren
I know. It's fun.

Craig
Here�s another one. Collates. Remember collates?

Lauren
Yes. That�s not as appealing to me as �halter tops�.

Craig
I just like saying collates.

Lauren
You do?

Craig
They were short skirt? T-shirts? They were something.

Lauren
How about gauchos?

Craig
It wasn�t that funny. I didn't say it. It wasn't that funny. All right. So this is Thanksgiving.

Lauren
I know. Happy Thanksgiving.

Craig
Happy Thanksgiving. Thanks for coming back after you ate. Did you eat, then?

Lauren
Yes. I cooked.

Craig
You cooked today?

Lauren
That's not funny. That�s not funny at all.

Craig
It's almost like they think we're taping this at a different time. I don�t know what they�re doing.

Lauren
I know it�s so weird, how dare they.

Craig
No, what�d you cook? You can cook?

Lauren
I can cook somehow when I am entertaining people. Like I .. Then I get into it.

Craig
You rise to the occasion?

Lauren
Yes. But for myself, no. Toast.

Craig
Toast. Warm up the toast and put some butter on it. So you can make the turkey and dressing? And all that kind of stuff?

Lauren
Yeah. And pies. I am a good baker.

Craig
Oh yeah?

Lauren
And yes. And thank you very much. What? Baking!

Craig
How great are pumpkin pies? They should be all year round.

Lauren
You can treat yourself to a pumpkin pie any day Craig.

Craig
See. You're absolutely right. Just like we could have breakfast for dinner during the year. Like, if I like eggs I can have them for dinner. I do that sometimes.

Lauren
Right.

Craig
We could have pizza for breakfast. And we can have pumpkin pie all year round.

Lauren
What's your point?

Craig
I am agreeing with you.

Lauren
Oh, good. Ok. You can do anything. You are a huge megastar. Don't you understand that? Yes, you do.

[Applause]

Craig
You know, you haven't -- you haven't seen me out lately, have you?

Lauren
No.

Craig
�Cause there�s often you used to talk about when you came on the show looking for a Kilborn spotting.

Lauren
That�s all I can talk about because I am obsessed with you.

Craig
Yes.

Lauren
And in fact, in fact, I felt like there was this one show where after you were like, �that's all a joke, right?�

Craig
Right.

Lauren
Like were you so worried that I was following you, that I was after you, that it actually gave you pause?

Craig
No no. It didn�t give me pause. I was flattered. But then it was so, you were so intense. I said, this must be an act, right? Then I actually ran into you at a party. Remember that one at Hancock Park where everyone was wearing white except me?

Lauren
Yes, I know. Rebel.

Craig
I was a rebel.

Craig
But.. then I was.. you were just.. you were very calm there. You were very calm there. You don�t seem to like, jump all over me.

Lauren
Was that what you wanted, Craig?

Craig
It works. So I haven't -- you haven't seen me out. Is that ok?

Lauren
No, have you been out? Are you keeping to yourself more these days?

Craig
Keeping kind of a low profile, up in the hills, in those old Spanish homes. Kind of..

Lauren
Sure, sounds delightful.

Craig
Are you doing a character?

Lauren
I don't know. I�m not sure.

Craig
I like that Sounds delightful.

Lauren
I guess I was sort of going along with the theme of like �if I was really obsessed with you�. Which I am. In many ways. But like, what I would say. I�d be like, �I'd love to see the house. You know what I mean? You know what I mean.

Craig
I just want to tell you something.

Lauren
And a little creepy. It�s a little creepy.

Craig
Whatever voice you're doing -- i don't know if you use this on Gilmore girls �cause I don�t watch a lot of TV and stuff, but this is a great character

Lauren
Oh, good. Ok.

Craig
Run with this. You�re kind of, �Hi, Craig�.

Lauren
Hi, Craig.

Craig
Yeah, kind of soft like you could attack me anytime.

Lauren
Mm hmm. Yeah.

Craig
Let's have pumpkin pie next Wednesday.

Lauren
Yes.

[Applause]

Craig
I have some real questions, though.

Lauren
Oh, you do?

Craig
I have some real questions.

Lauren
I don't mind. You don't have to have any real questions.

Craig
No, no, I have some real questions. I want to get to the nude scene. The totally nude scene in "Bad Santa."

Lauren
Thank you very much.

Craig
I first find this fascinating. There is a tradition in your household at Thanksgiving.

Lauren
Yes

Craig
Tell them.

Lauren
It�s with my cousins. �Cause it was just me and my dad for many years.

Craig
We know that and we all know your history. Your dad raised you.

Lauren
Ok. I also ride horses. Whatever. I�m just reading things you may have read in my bio. Ok, anyway. So there we were. I'll just cut right to it. So there we are..

Craig
It's called something.

Lauren
It�s called something. I am getting to that. It's all my cousins and we all sit around the table and we eat, eat, eat. And the grownups get.. and by the way, we're still the kids. Thank god. Thank god.

Craig
Even at 24 you are still a kid?

Lauren
I know. See, they are a little confused, like maybe it�s the truth. Ok. Not really. So the grownups get up and the kids dim the lights and the table is all a wreck after dinner. And you turn on the stereo. The thing you put on, of course, is the sound track to the "Phantom of the Opera."

Craig
This is a tradition?

Lauren
Yes.

Craig:
Phantom of the Opera?

Lauren
Phantom of the Opera.

Craig
Every year.

Lauren
Why isn't that funny? That's funny. And we run around the table. This is the game. We run around the table. Picking things up off the table and throwing them at the person who is in front of the dishwasher. Running, running, running. Furiously. You start getting hysterical. Dizzily hysterical.

Craig
You are handing them to everyone who leads up to the dishwasher.

Lauren
Yes. And like, while

(Singing) The Phantom of the Opera.

Like that. It�s inspiring

Craig
Right. You are basically clearing the table.

Lauren
Wait, here�s my point. No one gets that. For years and years this has been a tradition. And finally I, this year, at age 24 was like, �you know what, I think that the grownups started this so they could get the kids to clear the table!�

Craig
Exactly! That�s what it is, see? And you figured it out. You�re too sharp.

Lauren
And I don�t want to tell anybody. Because I�m afraid I�ll ruin it for them. Ya know? But it�s taken us that long, which is kind of sad.

Craig
It�s a great tradition.

Lauren
Is it?

Craig
Yeah, and maybe.. when I heard about it.

Lauren
It�s smart.

Craig
Yeah. It's "Phantom of the Opera." It's just bizarre that they would choose that on Thanksgiving and then you guys would...

Lauren
It's aspiring, Craig. You can�t deny that?

Craig
It�s aspiring. You have to pick up plates when you hear that music. We are going to take a break.

Lauren
All right.

Craig
When we come back. This is going to be exciting. Obviously "five questions" is exciting.

[Applause]

Craig
My little Lauren Graham, ladies and gentlemen, has done her first nude scene in a movie.

Lauren
Yes.

Craig
We are going to talk about that when we come back. Stay with us.

[Classic Five]

Craig
These sunglasses. I am going to put them on. Do they set off a handsome alert or jam up your �gaydar�?

Announcer
The answer when we return.

Announcer
And now the conclusion to Lauren Graham's classic five.

Craig
Do these sunglasses set off a handsome alert or jam up your �gaydar�?

Lauren
There's nothing that could make you look anything less than handsome. Except those glasses.

Craig
So it's �gaydar�?

Lauren
It's gaydar.

Craig
That's correct.

[Classic Five]

INT. Kilborn stage

Craig
The lovely Lauren Graham. It's called "Bad Santa." It opened up last night, Wednesday night. And you are �

Lauren
Bad Santa�s dirty girlfriend.

Craig
Yeah. Billy Bob Thornton.

Lauren
So funny. So good.

Craig
We had him here Monday night. He�s great and he�s the Bad Santa. You play his girlfriend?

Lauren
Mmm.

Craig
You guys meet and you are in the sack like that?

Lauren
Mm hm. Yep.

Craig
Let�s talk about. I heard about the nude scene. I heard a couple things about it.

Lauren
Ok.

Craig
First of all, you're in a bathtub? Is that right?

Lauren
A jacuzzi.

Craig
I heard the wrong thing. It changes all the time. And you are in there with Billy Bob?

Lauren
Mm hm.

Craig
Walk us through it.

Lauren
It's a cold night. And it's -- you know, it's harrowing. It's awful. Basically you're taped in some places so that you can just hold on to some shred of dignity, but then you get in the water and it's just all gone. Whatever you had is gone.

Craig
But.. but you don't � now you're my little girl. You don't actually show anything do you? Any nudity? Right?

Lauren
No, Craigy, no.

Craig
It�s just. It�s just different angles. You see maybe a bare back or something?

Lauren
Yeah, no no, I am like an Irish Catholic girl. You don't really see anything. It�s more.

Craig
So an hour later and then it comes off.

Lauren
What?

Craig
I have no idea what that means. I have no idea. So I read that you didn't really -- it was - you didn't show anything. You just were -- you're tanned.

Lauren
Why do you ruin it for the nice people? Maybe they haven�t had the chance to see it yet. Maybe they'll go with hope thinking they'll finally get to see my knockers, you know?

[Applause]

Craig
You have a wonderful figure.

Lauren
Thank you.

Craig
I love using that word. You have a wonderful figure.

Lauren
That's very old-fashioned. It�s a very nice.

Craig
�Cause you can talk about a girl�s figure and it's not offensive. You have a great figure.

Lauren
Right. That isn�t.

Craig
You go to a bar or something and you see a girl and say, �Could you stand up for me and turn around as I look at your figure�?

Lauren
Ew. Now it's dirty.

Craig
No, it's not. Ok. Are you ready?

Lauren
Yes.

Craig
"Five questions" with Lauren Graham. Geography, what state is known as �The Constitution state�?

Lauren
Connecticut.

Craig
Also known as �The nutmeg state�. That is correct ladies and gentlemen. That�s where Gilmore girls takes place. That�s too easy.

Lauren
No it isn�t.

Craig
Today is Thanksgiving. What do you call the dish that holds the gravy?

Lauren
The boat? The gravy boat.

Craig
Yes. The boat. The gravy boat. Yes! Los Angeles, California, has resended its ban on lap dancing. Have you ever given or received a lap dance, Lauren Graham? Be honest.

Lauren
Eh Eh Eh.. ah, I mean, ah. No.

Craig
Be honest. Be honest.

Lauren
Except that one night, Craig. Shhh!

Craig
So the answer is �

Lauren
No. Yes. The answer�s yes.

Craig
Yes. That is correct.

[Applause]

You play a very hip mom on "Gilmore girls." In a cool way, tell your TV daughter why she shouldn't go out on a date with me. There's your daughter right there.

Lauren
Uh, huh. Ok. Right. Hold on a second.

Craig
And action.

Lauren
Dude, he's totally into models and they're so much taller than you. Find a guy your own size.

Craig
That's good.

[Applause]

Lauren
That was like a commercial, though. I was doing a commercial there.

Craig
Oh, wow. Rapid fire. You have a degree in English. Do you remember the college? What was it?

Lauren
Yeah. Barnard College in Manhattan.

Craig
Very good.

Lauren
Thanks.

Craig
Ten seconds on the clock. Name seven books in 10 seconds. You gotta go really fast.

Lauren
That�s so many.

Craig
Seven books in ten seconds. Go.

Lauren
Taming the Shrew, Hamlet, Mack Beth, Henry the Fourth, Henry the Fifth, Richard the Third. And um freaking Catcher in the Rye.

Craig
Is that what it was called?

[Applause]

[Buzzer]

Craig
Five out of five, ladies and gentlemen. "Gilmore girls" on Tuesdays on the WB. Out now "Bad Santa." She may or may not show her � mmhmm -- Happy Thanksgiving. Great to see you.

[ 12-04-2003: Message edited catkok ]