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Of course and I wasn't trying to be offensive. I think what you suggested, a combination of both. If you do just one, then you're probably setting them up for failure.
I think teenagers need to know their options simply because they are having sex and the issue is lack of communication. Pregnancy isn't even the big issue, the bigger one is STD's. That would be my fear is that is goes untreated because the person is somehow being made to feel ashamed for having sex and when it comes to that, you can't ignore it.
Or even pregnancy. You can't ignore it and not getting prenatal care can be very very dangerous.
I'm not condoning simply waving condoms and saying "Here, have a bunch of sex" but I wouldn't want kids ignoring the consequence of sex either, you know? Which is why I brought up Donna's argument in BH 90210. She was a virgin who believed in waiting, but understood that there should be some information regarding safety.
I don't think promoting abstinence is backwards. I just don't know how realistic it is, just like it's probably not realistic to expect everyone who supposedly knows all about safe sex to engage in safe sex.
There's downsides to both methods for sure. And in the end, kids are going to do what they want to do.
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No worries, I didn't think you were coming off offensive, but I did get the sense that the episode itself was trying to stick it to the idea of 'abstinence' underhandedly ~ undermining it like it's wrong and the worst idea in the world, which obviously, I don't agree with.
I honestly think it depends on how it's being taught and handled universally, which, let's be frank, isn't the same everywhere. Personally, I think the issues with sex and society start elsewhere before teens even get to sex ed class {aka. values taught in the home, what becomes more accepted in society etc + peer pressure}.
I'll be honest with you, the example with Donna on 90210 always irked me in 20|20 hindsight down the road, because as someone who believes in waiting and has done so, I used to admire Donna as a character very early on for representing on TV those of us out there with that belief|value system and what did the show do?! Turn around and stomped on that and had Donna sleep with David out of marriage later on down the road anyway ~ after he had already cheated on her. I always felt like they made such a mockery and a joke out of the representation of those of us who did hold to those beliefs and almost made fun by sending the message: See, nobody ever waits!
But for the purposes of what Donna said and was getting at, I don't believe in keeping people|teens ignorant about sex, lol. There should be basic knowledge and information provided on the facts ~ and some of it can't even really be taught, which I think is the emotional side to it, which I suspect is more complicated. I think were it gets sticky isn't with the 'teaching' aspect, but crossing over into handing out condoms and birth control, and some of the more graphic and controversial approaches {not happening everywhere mind you} almost sending out the message like 'everybody is going to do it. Here you go and this is how we are going to encourage you to do it.'
Here's the thing with STD's, though. The reason they are so prelevant, is because so many people are just opting to have sex, and with multiple partners. I know this is an ideal notion, but logically speaking the reality is there would be no such thing as contractable STD's if everyone 'ideally' waited. No way to spread it like that. Like I said, I know it's an ideal form of a reality, but it's still based in truth, so that's the only reason I'm pointing it out.
As for the pregnancy aspect, I personally find that just as troublesome. Teens are in no position to be raising children, too many issues have arisen out of it in society, at least, I think so, with this rising socially acceptable trend. I'm all for helping the needy, I've been poor myself, but more goes out to public welfare on a long term basis, more and more grandparents are doing the raising of grandkids, children growing up in broken homes without their mothers and fathers. The whole thing I find just so sad.
Hey, just some slightly different perspectives we have on it.
But, phew, didn't mean to completely go off with all those points, just got into it, but for the purposes of this thread, these are probably some of the issues I would have opted to address with 'Daphne' when debating some of her own points in support of her views.