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I've noticed over the years that abusive characters and pairings seem to be "popular" and I'll never get it. Watching an abusive relationship be painted as love is nauseating and too many shows do it *vomits* I loved in S5 when Pheobe was finally over Cole and said it right to his face when she thought they finally vanquished him. She said she is FREE and truer words were never spoken. She was basically under his thumb and was letting him control her. He also showed she wanted him enslaved to him cause once she told him she doesn't love him anymore and is free, he went even crazier and wanted to drag her down with him. Just another thing showing how toxic this mirage of "love" was.
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I understand what you mean, alot of people tend to feel more attracted towards the "bad boy" types of characters because they tend to be considered more adventurous or wild, even I am guilty of liking "bad boy" types sometimes. But there is a difference between a character who is rebellious and wild, and characters who are just downright abusive and toxic and horrible, and Cole is the latter, there was nothing good about his character at all.
To be honest, was never convinced that what Phoebe and Cole had was really "true love", it was more like an obsession, a very toxic and intense obsession or infatuation for each other that masqueraded as "love". If Cole truly loved Phoebe, then he would not have been so manipulative or abusive towards her or tried to kill her and her sisters, or forced her to choose between him or her sisters. No, Cole didn't truly "love" her, he was obsessed with her, there is a distinct difference. As for Phoebe, she was manipulated & emotionally abused by Cole during the entirety of their relationship, that she had deluded herself into thinking that she really loved Cole, and maybe deep down she did to some extent. But it doesn't change how unhealthy their relationship was and how horrible Cole was for Phoebe.