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Padme cried about Anakin stealing the cake from her. He tried to bake four younglings in a cake and eat them but Yoda appeared forlorn and frightened so Anakin ate him instead. A zombie attacked Anakin and ate him. Obi-Wan kissed Padme and she had him arrested for sexual assault. He hired Jar Jar to be his lawyer which didn't work very well. The judge declared that Obi-Wan was guilty. Judge Dredd executed Kenobi. Shock and anger spread and farted across the galaxy while everybody was sleeping together. The galaxy barfed out a new star that shone brightly in the night sky over the public toilet in Mos Eisley forever. And ever and ever. Inside the Death Star, Vader plotted against Palpatine to pass the time. Leia plotted against Mon Mothma in accordance with Galactic Law, abiding by the Strictures of Xiccarph, while Han got drunk in Mos Eisley cantina with Lando wildly. Han had to pee, so he went to the Mos Eisley public toilet with the new star shining brightly over it in the night sky. A zeltron called Leia to pester her about Han and his chess set because he wanted to play chess with Gary Kasparov. Yoda kicked some ass while Luke shoved a note in the door reminding people that Yoda had already been EATEN earlier in the story and therefore would be unable to kick any ass. The dinosaurs were eating and crapping and eating and crapping hysterically. Greedo thought that a demon was summoning snakes to bite his balls off so he ran to Jabba and begged for protection but Jabba wasn't having any of it. Obi-Wan had been executed by Judge Dredd earlier in the story, but a necromancer brought him back to a half-life, so he cast a spell called Kenobi's Klutzy Krapp that can kill rats. A fennec fox trotted around the Falcon and Han grimaced because the fennec crapped on his boot and peed on the Falcon who is a ship and thus is a "which" not a "who". Leia got plastered with something purple that made her puke. Luke got drunk on vodka and passed out on top of Jabba who didn't appreciate it. The Jedi Council (minus Yoda, who had been eaten) was a little too stoned to do anything. Fortunately Luke had endless diarrhoea and Jabba slithered away screaming. The Emperor's Royal Guards (why are they not "Imperial Guards"?) started rallying support for a revolution in the name of Max Reebo and vacation time, dancing and singing and eating pizza on the Death Star. Vader puked in his helmet and had Jar Jar clean it up. Suddenly Vader hit Jar Jar over the head with a baseball bat and dumped him down a shaft in the Death Star. Prequel Anakin's force ghost appeared, causing Vader to vomit vigorously and run screaming in horror. Then a giant Wookiee ate Prequel Anakin's force ghost and threw it up. Then the wookiee ate Jabba while laughing. Jabba didn't agree with the giant wookiee's insides, so the wookiee had stomach cramps and then diarrhoea. A giant space moth flew around the Falcon while Han tried to hit it with a giant fly swatter that Leia bought for him. Crew cuts were appearing all over Cloud City and Lando didn't like it so he issued an edict forcing people to wear wigs forever. Lobot objected because he didn't like hair at all. At all at all. So IG88 was wearing a wig that looked like George Washington's wig and Bossk was wearing one that looked Sean Connery's toupee from the Bond movies which made everyone laugh. Chewie got hungry, so he ate all the wigs at once. Then Chewie had a stomach ache that made him barf on the script for The Force Awakens. Yoda was still eaten, so couldn't do anything. Padme kept dying all the time; every time something went wrong she'd lose the will to live, but Undead Kenobi kept raising her from the dead. This was very tedious for everyone else. A new gnome appeared and started a trade union among the ughnaughts and the Cloud City administration didn't like it. Worried, Lando declared that trade unions were illegal. A bounty hunter arrived suddenly and started shooting members of the administration, because she was hired by the trade union and had orders to take out the administration. Suddenly, Lando fled with Lobot to another star system.
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