Kwistina

Ok, I'm sure you are all familiar with Pamie, the recapper from TelevisionWithout Pity, right? Well, reading her recaps gave myself and other Java Junkies the idea that we could write our own recaps.

Now recapping is hard to do, so I've only got have half the episode done so far, but I thought I'd make it a two parter. Leave them wanting more, right? (Thanks Val!)

Anyway, feel free to post your own recaps or recaplets. This isn't an episode discussion thread, we already have one of those. This is for the recaps. They're usually funny, but full of opinions. If jenna or Roxy has a problem with this, they can PM me and I'll understand.

So those of you from the Java Junkie Thread know how long winded I can be, and how long my posts can get, so this shouldn't surprise you.

The recap will be on my next post, so I hope you enjoy reading it, and feel free to comment on it, or quote it.

And don't be afraid to attempt it yourself! I'd love to hear your spin on things!

Valerina

I love me some Krizzle, and I'm only posting to bother her...well, that and to put this thread back on the top of the page so people will notice it. 'Cause I've read the first half of her recap, and it's a fangirl's dream.

So here's my recap:

Yeah, there's this maypole thing, for no reason.
Kirk makes an appearance, 'cause, well, he's Kirk.
Lorelai walks and pretends not see Jess, who's reading. We should nickname him "Read."
Rory's still at school, her roommates are leaving, she sucks.
Lorelai's at the Inn and there's a horse in the lobby. Wha? Exactly.
There's a stripper at Luke's. We also find out that Luke keeps a turkey leg in his pants at all times.
Eh, some stupid Friday night dinner.
Eh, some even stupider set-up for Rory with Graham. He's a dick.
And then...

LUKE AND LORELAI ARE AT THE WEDDING! AND THEY'RE CUTE! AND THEY DANCE!

After that? Who knows what the hell happens...I just kept rewinding and watching that part over again.


See, Kristi? See what I did? I posted something stupid so your recap will look even better! It's 'cause I love.

Lost in Translation

I love your recap Val . I can't wait until I read the real recap. Go Krizzle

Kwistina

We open to a bunch of kids dancing around a maypole in the town square. Somehow I don't think Taylor would allow that. Apparently the boys are having trouble telling which way is clockwise. This is confirmed by someone who looks vaguely familiar, but maybe because she seems to be a cross between Rachel and Lorelai. She talks with a lisp, too, but I don't think that's relevant. She blames the problem on the Banyan Boys. Is that Star's Hollow's new mystery solving duo? The Banyon Boys and the case of the ****ed up maypole! Wait, aren't they the same boys that stole the bonfire from Kirk during the firelight festival? You would think they would have been sent off to find their long lost fathers in California, or something. What? Isn't that where they send boys who cause trouble in Star's Hollow?

Anyway, speaking of Kirk, we see him in the background leaning against the gazebo. He's heckling. He calls it a "Maybe-not Pole." Heh. Shouldn't Kirk be working somewhere?

Rachelai suddenly dissappears to reveal Lorelai...(hmm..evolution, maybe?). Lorelai's wearing a really unflattering robe like dress. It makes Lauren Graham look chunky, and we know she's not.

Anyway, it turns out that Kirk is mad because Patty made Rachelai the dance captain instead of him. I guess Kirk's new girlfriend makes him fall back under the gaydar. Lorelai confirms my thoughts by telling Patty that "Kirk has 43 jobs!" Is that an exact count? Seriously, someone figure it out. Let me know.

Lorelai goes over to Kirk and advises him to shut up before Patty sits on him and squishes him like a bug...Actually she says before Patty beats him up again, but really, you were all thinking it, weren't you?

The La La's pick up as Lorelai walks around the gazebo revealing Jess. They pretend not to see each other as the camera looks behind the Punk Planet mag that Jess is "reading". He's doing that smaller book behind the bigger book thing and is reading one of Luke's self help books. Jess really needs to cut his hair. He really, really does. I guess he and Dean go to the same barber.

"Where you lead, I will fol---" Well, you know how it goes.

You know, ASP is really missing out on some good dialogue with Jackson. The guy is hilarous! We cut to he and Sookie in the DragonFly kitchen arguing about the size of Jackson's radishes. I can relate..Men with small radishes always disappoint. They argue about whether or not they could fit one of the radishes up their son's nose, and isn't that illegal? Where is the Child Protection Agency when you need them? And speaking of which, where is little Davey? I highly doubt that those two can afford a nanny. Hmm, maybe he's locked in the same closet with Taylor, Chris, Sherry and GiGi.

During this disturbing discussion, Lorelai walks in and advises them that shoving things up Davey's nose is probably not the best idea. Jackson leaves and she and Sookie blabber on about some old person that I have never heard of. Sookie wants to know if he's dead or alive. Does it matter?

Lorelai's cell phone rings, and, of course, it's Rory. Who else would it be? Man, their cell phone bills must be astronomical! Maybe Emily pays for that too..

Anyway, Rory bitches about how everyone around her is happy because school is done, except Rory still has one more final left. Well, Princess, I'm sure you won't be the only one taking the test, so quit your whining.

Two boys walk by with their arms around each other. What straight male does that? Rory calls them "boisterous bozos". Good job with the alliteration there, sister. Yale's really teaching you a lot.

Lorelai brings up "the J-word". Rory: "Oh not more about Jesus, I'm sick of him and Mel Gibson." And religious people and Mel Gibson fans world over (My Mom) shut off their televisions.

However, Lorelai's talking about Jess. She's been seeing him around town and wanted to know if Rory wanted Lorelai to tell her when she did. What I want to know is when Rory's going to hit puberty. Girl should not wear a shirt like that if she can't hold it up. Anyway. I'm just saying. Rory says it's ok for Lorelai to report any Jess sightings, within reason. Like, if Jess comes up to her and spits on her, she can report that. Lorelai asks for permission to spit back. Hell, I would smack the punk. Lorelai suggests running up to him and telling him that she loves him and then running away again. Yeah, 'cause that would go over real well. And Luke might get jealous. Rory doesn't find this funny and says to not do anything out of the ordinary.

During this exchange we can see a horse standing in the room behind Lorelai. For some reason, this really made me laugh. Lorelai doesn't notice it at first, which just made me laugh more. In fact, no one seems to notice it. Finally, Lorelai turns around and jumps. She tells Rory that there's a horse in the dining room. She hangs up and goes to deal with it.

Apparently it's Cletus. Lorelai coos to him as Michel walks up with something for Lorelai to sign. AHHH! There's a hornet in my room!!

Ok, crisis averted. I'm back. As I was saying...

There are some words that Yanic Truesdale cann't say without completely giving away the fact that is Canadian, and not from France. "Horse" is one of them. Maybe it's just because I'm Canadian, but it was really obvious. Anyway, Michel claims that Cletus has been there for around 20 minutes and that he figured someone else was dealing with it. I'm the opposite. If I see something that needs attention, I make sure that I do it before anyone else can and then make sure to get the credit. I'm a huge attention whore.

Sookie walks up and says hello to Cletus. Oh, and that guy they mentioned earlier that I don't care about? He's alive. Sookie googled him. Wow, whoever created Google must be one really rich bastard.

Lorelai implements a rule that if anything not human is found in the Inn (does Jess count?) then they should figure that no one is doing something about it and deal with it. They agree and walk away without actually doing anything about it. Cute, but pointless scene.

Yale. Rory walks into the dorm to see CreepyGlenn with a box. Apparently he's getting back together with his girlfriend. The poor girl. He pulls our a picture to show Rory. It's a picture of a young girl. Rory, one who shouldn't be judging relationships, confirms this. I'm actually not surprised. Glenn is creepy! He claims that it's a picture of her when she was younger and "she can drive and everything!" Ok, so you're dating a 16 yr old. Much better.

Speaking of 16 year olds, Rory enters the suite as Tana walks out of her room carrying a big poster. Why do Janet and Tana get their own rooms and Rory and Paris have to share? That hardly seems very fair. (shut up, I know I rhymed) Tana is wearing the same gray sweater that she always wears. What happened to the makeover that Lane gave her? Hmmm...Tana introduces us to her boyfriend, Chester Fleet. Great, another college guy dating a 16 yr old. Is there an epidemic I should know about?

It seems Chester has lost a bet and can only talk in cliches all day. I'm going to spare you from recapping them, because hell, they're annoying.

Janet, (another person who talks with a lisp, is she related to Rachelai?) comes out to announce that she's leaving. She asks Rory if she got herself a "Funky Monkey" which is all the alcohol left in the dorm poured into cups. Tana says that she saved one for Rory that was meant for her. She's not having one. Well, I hope not, since YOU'RE 16! This show really needs to stop encouraging underaged drinking. With Rory, it's not so bad, since, isn't she 19 now? That's the legal drinking age here in British Columbia, so I'm ok with that, but Tana should not be drinking. Again, where is the Child Protection Agency? What? She's not drinking? Shut up.

Janet hugs Rory goodbye as Paris comes running out. She hugs Janet as Janet stiffly asks if she's off her meds. She claims she only gets emotional saying goodbye to people she likes. Janet's a bitch. I like her. But alas, this shall be the last we see of her. Bye Janet, it's been real.

Tana holds up her collage of pictures and asks Rory and Paris to sign it. As she points out picture of various couples, Paris comments on the fact that Rory is alone in all of them. Well, at least she's on the poster, Paris. Where are you? At a nursing home somewhere, trolling for your next victim? Yeah, that's what I thought. Wait, why am I defending Princess Rory?

Did anyone else notice that when Tana points to a picture that is supposed to be her and Chester, it's just a picture of her by herself? Maybe it was just me.

Rory and Paris go to their room and shut the door. Rory wonders when Paris suddenly became interested in her love life. She claims she embarrassed her in front of Tana and Chester. Paris claims this to be impossible since they were singing the Lumberjack song earlier. Hey! I like that song!

Paris pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to Rory. It's Asher's son, Leonard's number. Why does Paris have it? Apparently he's "newly divorced, and on the hunt." Ew.

Paris calls him a juicy apple, and Ew x2. I have to stop here. You've all watched the scene. You know how it ends.

Cut to Kim's Antiques. Lorelai enters greeting MamaKim with a "Hey Miss Kim". Miss? When did that change? Did they finally decide to quit pretending that MamaKim has an invisible husband?

Lorelai is looking for a door knocker that MamaKim happens to conveniently have right next to her. MamaKim says it's a good price since it belonged to James Madison. She says he was known for liking big knockers. Lorelai makes the incredibly easy joke that "a lot of founding fathers liked big knockers." She laughs at her own joke and says that she would explain it to MamaKim if she could. MamaKim gives the best line ever: "It's a double entendre. I've been in this country 20 years. I get things." MamaKim should have a spin-off.

The knocker comes to $90. Lorelai says she'll take it. Well, it's good to see that Luke's money is going to good use. I think he likes the knockers you have Lorelai. (ok, I'm sorry, I had to.) MamaKim goes to wrap the item and hands Lorelai some mail for Lane. Lorelai tells MamaKim that the distance between her and Lane has gone on long enough and that she resigns as her mailman. MamaKim raises the price to $140 for a "wrapping charge". That's a pretty ****ty wrapping job for 60 dollars.

Lukes. There is a huge rotisserie full of turkey legs on Luke's counter and Luke's fiddling with the dials. Liz, Crazy Carrie and friends are gathered around a table giggling. Carrie claims that homo sapiens aren't supposed to be monogamous. They're not rocks. Are rocks monogamous? Liz says that thats so "unromantic". Friend#1 claims she can say that because she got lucky. Friend#2 says that TJ is "yum yum". Uh..have they met TJ? Yum isn't the word I would use.

Crazy Carrie claims that we're animals and animals don't mate for life, except tigers, but they're "retarded". Man, Daniel Palladino is just pissing off all sorts of minority groups this episode, isn't he? And hey, don't ducks mate for life, too? I believe Luke told us that in 'Red Light on a Wedding Night'.

Speaking of Luke, He interrupts to ask if he's "doing this right"(cooking the turkey legs). Carrie claims that most men don't know if they're doing it right. Oh, I bet Luke has never had any complaints.

Liz says that she doesn't know, since that's not her area of expertise. The guy who was supposed to be doing it violated his parole. Just goes to show you what kind of people hang around Renn Faires, eh?

Luke asks if "this is how turkey legs are supposed to look." Carrie responds with "I don't know, take off your pants and let us see." Boy, that Carrie sure has class, doesn't she? And what does that mean, anyway? I have never seen a penis that looked like a turkey leg, and frankly, if I did, I wouldn't be sticking around too long.

Luke asks the girls if they were supposed to be going to a spa, and they exchange looks, so you know somethings coming. In walks Jess who says that he's going to get batteries and he'll be back. Now I know I'm not the only one thought that was dirty. And since when does Jess tell Luke where he's going?

Liz asks Jess to come over and meet her friends and Luke warns him to watch "the one on the left." Jess thanks him and heads into the lion's den. The women prove once again how mature they are by practically drooling over him. Have I mentioned that Jess really needs a haircut? He even has to push his hair behind his ears because it's too long. I thought only girls did that.

A cute delivery man walks in with a box. Apparently everyone except Luke and Liz know that it's a stripper. Jess tells Luke to have fun, to which Luke cluelessly responds "with what?". Jess gives him a cute(?) wave through the window. The stripper wips a stereo out of the box and turns it on. The classy ladies tell him to "shake it." They give Luke some money to make change with. Luke reluctantly takes it and goes behind the counter. The stripper rips off his clothes to reveal orange underwear. Hey! I'm wearing that same pair right now! However, I don't think mine would have the same effect that his seems to have on Luke. He totally checked him out! It's ok Luke, I'm sure yours is bigger.

Cut to Doose's Market, where Jess is buying batteries. Kirk is at the register loudly announcing everything that Dean is buying. Nail polish remover, Lady Speed Stick, Jasmine Body Lotion and emery boards. Did Lindsay run out all at once? And she's got nothing better to do than to sit around at home waiting for Dean, why can't she go to the store?

Dean looks embarrassed and says that it's all for his wife. Surprising everyone, Jess says nothing. Dean pays and leaves. End of scene. Ahh, relevance is a wonderful thing, isn't it?

Gilmore Prison, er..Mansion. Emily is upset that she didn't know Rory still had another final. Lorelai notices that Emily is playing different music. "Some chick is singing". Emily tells us it's Blossom Dearie. So, because I'm a complete follower, I downloaded some of her music. (Shut up, in Canada, it's legal to download music!) It's very old, retro music, but quite catchy. Makes you feel like you're in an old film noir.

Anyway, Lorelai finds it weird that Emily would change the music. Emily says that Richard is out of town and that they talked about changing it. Emily changes the subject to ask if Rory is going to alone at the campus. She asks if Rory has a boyfriend. Rory says "not really." There's no, "not really" about it, sister. The answer is no. Remember that word, you'll be hearing it a lot later in the episode.

Lorelai cuts in to ask if Emily has a boyfriend. Emily gives her a look. She turns back to Rory to invade her privacy some more by asking about her love life. Lorelai interrupts again by asking where Richard is. "Phil-a-del-phia" Rory answers as if she's talking to a two yr old. Lorelai perfectly delivers a sarcastic "Thanks Mom!" to Rory. She then interrogates Emily about why she didn't know that her father was away. Emily says that it's because it concerns Jason's father, and she didn't know if that would be a sore spot Lorelai. She then gets up to go check on some raspberry souffles or something in the kitchen. Lorelai claims that Richard hates raspberrys. What does it matter? He's out of town, he won't have to eat them. This whole scene is tiring.

And because the focus is off Rory for once second, she must bring it back by demanding to know why Everyone is so interested in her love life. Rory: "Am I cloaked in loneliness or something?" No, honey, you're cloaked in virginity. (tm Val!) Lorelai claims that it's all a ruse to get the questioning off where Richard really is tonight. She thinks that he must be staying at a hotel. Rory says they're having marital difficulties and they probably don't want everyone to know. Lorelai asks why Rory isn't seeing anyone. Rory threatens to throw a roll at her. Sounds like dinner at my house. And I could so go for a roll right now...with butter. Mmmm...

Emily comes back, and we can all breathe again. The souffle is okay. Rory tries to change the subject and Lorelai claims that her father hates chicken kiev. Again, He's not there! Part of the joy of people being out of town is that you can do things you wouldn't normally do if they were there, like eat raspberries and listen to funky music. Get over it, Lorelai.

We end the scene (finally) with Emily giving Lorelai a look that makes me wonder if her and my mother have been comparing notes.

The Apartment of Starving Musicians. Zack, Brian and Lane are going over the phone bill. This is such a good idea. Young people, take note here. I once lived with 2 other girls in an apartment, and the phone and cable bill were both in my name. Bad idea. One day my roommates decided to skip town, leaving me with having to pay a complete months rent (which was usually split 3 ways), a cable bill that had only ever been paid once, in full, by me, and a phone bill that they had agreed to pay if I bought groceries. I still haven't paid those bills, and you can imagine what my credit is like. Not good doesn't even begin to describe it. Moral of the story? Don't trust your roommates when they say "they will", and never have everything in your name. Class dismissed.

Anyway. Zack apparently had some girls over that made long distance phone calls. They were bragging about beer. Where are these kids getting the alcohol?! Come on!

The doorbell rings and Lane answers it. It's her Aunt Jun. MamaKim would like to visit and has listed times when it would be convenient. Aunt Jun makes me feel bad for Lane when she flat out refuses to come in. Poor Lane. I'm glad I don't care what my family thinks. And that, my friends, is another topic for my therapist, and a different day.

Want to know something even sadder? The shirt that Aunt Jun is wearing? I have the same one. To my credit, I've only worn it once or twice, but I still did pay good money for it. I'm pathetic.

Yale. Rory's in her suite packing up all the junk that Emily bought her. She drinking out of a cup which contains what we can only assume is the "Funky Monkey". she's listeing to some weird music that I'm not even going to bother to find out what it is because it's loud and I don't like it.(And no, don't PM me and tell me what it is. I don't care.) Emily walks in, and she must be the stupidest person alive if she doesn't realize that Rory is drunk. She says she was on campus having lunch with a friend of hers who also happens to have a son with a final that morning. She wondered if Rory would be interested in meeting him. Of course with Emily everything has to be done on her schedule, so Graham (as he is called. Original thinking, Mr Palladino) is right outside the door. As may others have also noticed, Graham bears a striking resemblance to Season One Dean. Although he is a little preppier. He kind of reminds me of that jackass from Van Wilder. Those of you who've seen the movie know who I'm referring to.

While Emily's back is turned, Graham stage-whispers to Rory that her breath smells like alcohol. Well, duh. Emily tells Rory that Graham and some his friends are going out that night and invites Rory to go with them. Thanks Emily, I'm sure Graham couldn't have said that for himself. Rory half-assed agrees. Emily herself sounds a little drunk as she hugs Rory goodbye. Rory mumbles goodbye so Emily won't smell her breath.

After Emily is gone, Graham picks up some tape and presumptuously tapes up a box. Um, hello, if Rory was done with that box, don't you think she would have taped it up already and moved it? Oh wait, maybe that's just me. But hey, isn't this all about me anyway? Oh, it's not? Right, moving on.

Graham calls himself a "box taping machine". Yeah, that's why you're taping that box sideways, isn't it pal? He says that Rory should "use [him]". Well, if he kept his mouth shut, I'd use him. He is kinda cute. Maybe a little clean cut for me, though. He's not Scott Patterson, after all.

Graham asks Rory for a piece of paper so he can give her his cell phone number in case she really does want to go out with him tonight. Rory gives him the paper with Leonard Fleming's number on it. Didn't she crumple that up? And in her whole dorm at YALE UNIVERSITY(!) she doesn't have any other paper? Whatever. Rory tuns her annoying music back on as Graham leaves and the scene ends.

Well, that's the end of Part 1 of this recap. Recapping is hard! I need to take a break to watch some actual live tv that I don't have to dissect, and then I'll be back with the rest of the episode. Stay Tuned!

Kwistina

Part Deux.



Luke's Apartment. Luke is sitting on his bed in a white collared shirt with the top couple of buttons undone and...oh sorry, I need a minute.

Okay. Luke attempting to polish his shoes (Wow, he's really going all out for this, ain't he?) and thinks there is something wrong with the polish. Jess says that the polish is probably old. Luke claims that he messed up his shoes and Jess tells him that they'll be fine if he wipes them off. Uh, wrong. I was a Sea Cadet for 5 years, and my mother is in the Canadian Navy. I'm quite adept at polishing boots, and I know for a fact, that shoe polish will not just "wipe off". It will strip the leather and make it worse. Plus, you can use old polish, it just takes a little elbow grease. Wow, this recap is very educational, isn't it?

Anyway. The bathroom door opens and out walks TJ in nothing but a pair of black tights. Oh yeah, I can definitely see where the "yum yum" comes from. Except not. Tj asks Luke why he doesn't have a full length mirror. Luke claims he doesn't need one, and that he doesn't need a mirror to look at his bottom half. Correction Luke, you do so need a mirror. You have to look to make sure the outfit matches, and that the pants don't make you look too fat, or that paired with that shirt they fit you right, and that the shoes work with the pants...all this makes a full length mirror an important item. I'm sitting next to one as I type this. Ok, so maybe I'm a total girl, but come on, I'm sure Luke at least thinks of some of these things. Jess HAS to.

Oh right, the recap. Tj walks over and notices Luke nervousness. Luke notices that TJ is partially naked standing right next to him. He gets up, closing his eyes and blocking TJ with his hand as he runs to the bathroom. It's a quick movement, but it's hilarious, nonetheless. Tj says that the Queer Eye guys are very against old polish. Luke laughs nervously. Jess says that maybe it's time TJ put a shirt on. TJ asks if it's getting him hot. Hmm..tights, Queer Eye, hitting on Jess. I'm not sure if it's Liz he should be marrying? Does she have a single gay best friend?

TJ is loving his tights. We got it. Luke is in the bathroom trying to decide on a tie. Jess points one out and they share this cute look as Luke thanks him. Ok, I'm really not hating Jess in this episode. Well, I'm sure that'll change.

TJ tells Luke that he had to borrow his deodorant. Jess does the honour of throwing the deodorant in the conveniently placed garbage can. God Luke looks sexy in this scene.

Luke exits the diner, completely dressed. Damn. Lorelai runs up to him wearing a rather pretty pink dress and a flower head wreath. Wait, wasn't he supposed to pick her up? Ugh, whatever. Lorelai spouts some olde english mumbo jumbo that I don't need to recap. She tells him he looks nice and that she loves the tie. It's a nice tie, but it's not made of gold or anything...what's the big deal with the tie?

Luke tells Lorelai that she looks beautiful. Aw. But wait, I just saw the front of the dress. Ok, we all know the Lauren Graham has a nice rack, right? Why does she torture her girls with this dress? It's a great dress, but I'm thinking a strapless bra or something would helped. Why am I looking at Lorelai's breasts, anyway?

She smiles and tells him that flattery will get him everywhere. And in the words of Em and Val, "so will sex." And that would be a season finale we could all get behind! (behind...dirty.). Peppy flute music plays as they walk over to the town square.

Commercial.

We come back to an aerial view of some men playing some instruments. I don't know, I don't speak rennaisance. We hear Lorelai talking about a "manly wreath" for Luke's hair. Luke says there is no such thing. Lorelai says that Julius Ceasar pulled it off (No, his was a laurel, wasn't it?) and the chicks loved him. They're interrupted by TJ's brother (the guy from Jesse) who is dressed in full garb. He teases them about not being in costume. Well, that's not entirely true, Lorelai kind of looks medieval, doesn't she? I mean, they didn't have bras back then, did they? Oh wait, they had corsets. Even worse.

Luke asks Lorelai to help him keep a proud look on his face so he doesn't laugh his ass off and piss of Liz. Lorelai thinks that it's cool that they have a whole community of people who travel together. They sit down as Crazy Carrie pops up from out of nowhere, scaring Luke. She calls him Lucas. Hey, only Mia can call him that! She comments on his "power suit". Luke says it's his only suit. Carrie leans over and gives everyone a view of her "goodies". She tells Luke that her husband stayed home and that he should save a dance for her. Luke says he doesn't dance. Lorelai interrupts to suggest working on him together to get him to dance. Carrie gets jealous when Luke introduces her to Lorelai, and quickly departs after announcing that Liz ripped her dress and that it'll take her a while to fix it. Lorelai goes to help Liz and Luke asks her not to leave him alone. She assures him that he'll be fine because Carrie found the guy with the codpiece. She pats Luke's leg as she leaves. Aw.

Miss Patty's. Lorelai bounces in, and I mean bounces. Liz is in a really nice gown that I would look perfect in. I'm just saying. Liz is nervous and upset that she's holding everyone up. Lorelai says that today is her today and she's allowed to hold everyone up. She takes a sewing kit and goes to work on Liz's dress. Liz asks if Lorelai was this nervous when she got married. Lorelai says she's never been married. Liz says she has a kid. Again with the perfect line delivery, Lorelai responds "Found a way around that." Liz asks if she wants to get married. Lorelai says it's innapropriate to propose to her on her wedding day. They giggle and then get serious again. Lorelai says she would like to get married if she found the right guy. Liz realizes that she's going to be married to TJ for most of her life. Yeah, I'd be nervous too. Actually, I'd be terrified.

Jess walks in to ask if Liz is ready. Come on Jess! You're mother is getting married, you could have least tucked your shirt in! Jeez. Liz asks if Lorelai and Jess know each other and Lorelai says he dated her daughter. Liz asks if he broke her heart and Lorelai misses a perfect opportunity to get back at Jess and says that "it just didn't work out." Yeah, that's an understatement.

Lorelai finishes sewing the dress and Jess puts his bag down and goes to tell everyone. Liz says that Lorelai will make a great wife and sister-in-law someday. Subtle, isn't she? LISTEN TO HER, LORELAI! Oh, sorry, that was my inner Java Junkie coming through. Liz says Luke is waiting. Yes, he is, but he won't wait forever, darlin! As Lorelai leaves she notices a book peeking out of Jess' backpack. It's one of Luke's self-help books called "You Deserve Love." Hmm...I don't know that Jess does. Actually, love hurts, so yes, let's give Jess some of that, please.

Lorelai rejoins Luke as the fruity music picks up. People throwing rose petals skip down the aisle and there's a joke that I don't get, so I'm not going to recap it.

Then comes TJ in his tights. He loves him some tights. As he walks down the aisle he talks about "his boys". Ahh...that TJ sure is classy too, isn't he? Maybe he should be marrying Carrie. TJ tells Luke that his armpits are still dry. Lorelai questions this but Luke doesn't want to talk about it.

Liz arrives being pushed in a carriage. Lorelai says that she wants one of those. Well, I'm sure Luke will build you one, so it's only a matter of time.

Jess helps Liz down from the carriage and walks her down the aisle. TJ says she looks hot and his brother agrees. Again, with the class. Liz kisses Jess' cheek and joins TJ. Jess wipes his face as everyone sits. Lorelai asks where the minister is. On cue, up walks the minister. Hey, it's the Crazy Long Haired Freak/Loser Troubadour guy who's not Grant Lee Phillips! And yes, that is his official title. He has a guitar and he sings some silly song (say that 10 times fast) about toys. I don't get it. While he sings Jess, Luke and Lorelai try really hard not to crack up. Lorelai says to think of notfunny things. "Can't" Luke says as his face turns the colour of his tie. "Avalanches, earthquakes" Lorelai says. "Not doin' it" Luke chokes. "Famine, and I'm out" Lorelai manages to say. I've been to Renn weddings...I've totally done the same thing. I was trying so hard not to laugh that when they couple said their vows I ended up crying. I was a mess. Speaking of vows, it's time for Liz and TJ to exchange theirs. This is the one time TJ made me laugh. His "Yeah?" when Liz says his name made me want to spit out the pop I was drinking. And shut up, it's Pop, not Soda. Anyway, the vows are short, sweet and everyone awws. Yada Yada.

Apartment for Starving Musicians. Doorbell rings, Lane answers. It's MamaKim. She has brough Multi-grain Soy Pudding, extra chunky. Um..Yum? Lane introduces MamaKim to Zack and Brian. MamaKim is less than impressed. Lane gives MamaKim the tour of the apartment which takes all of 30 seconds. Zack and Brian go to make tea. ASP must like Lapsang Oolong tea because this is the second time I've heard them mention it on this show. I think Tobin said it first. MamaKim is freaked out and runs out the door slamming it behind her.

The reception. Lorelai claims she was born 400 years too late, and that the food is amazing. You know, it really is. That is one good thing I can say about Renn Faires. Her and Luke go to find some seats. Before they can sit down MamaKim comes rushing up, talking about boys. Lorelai hands her plate to Luke and turns to MamaKim. MamaKim: "At Lane's, two boys, one with hair." Heh. She mutters about the boys some more and Lorelai tells her to slow down. MamaKim calls Lane dirty. Aw. Poor Lane. Lorelai advises MamaKim to think of the boys as girls. Mama Lane says she doesn't like girls either. Lorelai says she likes them more than boys. She tells her to think of them as tall unwashed girls who are looking out for Lane's safety. MamaKim thinks this over as she leaves. Luke comes back and asks if MamaKim is ok and He and Lorelai sit down.

Jess is sitting next a bald guy talking about prison. He claims that he learned a lot in prison. He says that laundry is a skill. Well, can he come do mine?

TJ discusses an ad campaign for tights. We get it, TJ. Shut up. Liz calls Luke and Lorelai her "two heroes". Luke calls Liz "sis". NOBODY does that. Seriously. I have four brothers and none of them has ever called me sis unless they were joking. Liz praises Jess for walking her down the aisle, and because TJ is an *******, he says there was nothing to it. Shut Up TJ. Jess gets up and Liz tells him to say goodbye before he leaves. I hate to admit it, but Jess is really cute in this scene. He tells him Mom that he's just going to get more food. Awww..okay, he's cute, I ADMIT IT! SHOOT ME!

Liz and TJ leave to get food for themselves and Lorelai turns to Luke. She tells him about the book she saw in Jess' bag. She starts laughing and asks Luke ifhe knew anything about it. Luke laughs nervously (and Luke laughing threw me off for a second) and pretends to know nothing about it. Lorelai calls the book "idiotic" and Luke gets all defensive. Lorelai can't believe that Luke won't mock the book with her. Luke stands up and starts yelling at Lorelai, saying that Jess is trying and "is there anything wrong with that?" Lorelai looks like a child who's being scolded and answers quietly "No." Luke leaves to get something to drink.

Cut to Frat boys in a bar. They're talking about sports or some **** that I don't care about. One of the boys is Graham, so you know Rory must be around somewhere.

Yep, there she is. Princess Rory is sitting at a table by herself looking rather perturbed and lonely. Graham comes over and teases her about not drinking. Shut up Graham. Just because you're in a bar doesn't mean you have to drink. Rory asks Graham if he wants to go back to his group. Graham gets all smarmy when he says "Not if it's suddenly going to get exciting over here." Ew. He's like a dirty old man without the "old" part. This scene pisses me off. Here's a summary. The boys want to move on the next bar and Rory wants to leave. She doesn't need a ride, so they leave without her. She realizes that she doesn't have any money and the nearest ATM is down the street and it's too dangerous to walk. So she does what anyone would do. She calls a cab and tells the driver she'll pay him when she gets to her destination. Oh, no, that what any SMART person would do. Instead, Rory takes out her cell phone and calls someone for a ride. They don't say who she calls, but you know it's Dean. Stupid Rory.

You'll notice I didn't mention how the boys left. Yeah, they're drunk and they're driving. This show is pissing me off.

Back at the Apartment for Starving Musicians, Brian and Zack are playing video games to see who pays the bills. The doorbell rings again. It's MamaKim. She tells the boys they are now girls and says she'll have tea now. The boys are quick to obey. Aw, MamaKim and Lane are friends again! Yay!

Back at the reception Kirk is the dj and he's playing Kajagoogoo. Kirk's my hero. He's speaks renaissance as he ask everyone to clear the floor for TJ and Liz to dance. Sam Philip's 'Reflecting Light' comes on. That is such a good song, ya'll. Get the cd, seriously. I don't have it, yet, but I will and when I do, it'll be on repeat.

Luke is talking to a juggler. He tells him he'd like to see him perform sometime. Heh. Lorelai approaches and asks if they're (Her and Luke) okay. Luke says that he didn't mean to get defensive and Lorelai says she didn't mean to make fun of Jess. She's happy he's trying. Luke says a book does sound pretty dorky. Kirk announces that Liz and TJ would like other couples to join them on the dance floor. Lorelai asks Luke if he wants to go get more food, but instead Luke asks her to dance. Swoon Ok, I love me some Luke Danes. Lorelai says she thought he didn't dance. Luke says he's a compulsive liar. Hee! He takes her hand as he leads her out on the dance floor. They each smile and giggle nervously as they begin dancing. They spin around the floor and both of them look so nervous, but are happy to be together. Each turn brings them closer together and Lorelai can't look Luke in the eye. As the music plays and the camera pans out, we see them get close and Lorelai rests her head on Luke's shoulder. Aww! Now, let's just rewind this scene and watch it again a few dozen times, ok? I know Val, Em and Gen did. Many, Many times. sigh

Ok, the recap must go on. We're back at the bar and Dean has just arrived. It's a bird, it's a place, it's SUPERDEAN! Jesus, he's whipped. And he's not even getting any....yet. Rory explains her situation to Dean and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....short story. They have a tab still open at the bar that Graham will be paying for, so they order lots of food. End of scene.

Lorelai and Luke are walking back to her place. Lorelai can't decide what the best part of the evening was, but all the choices involve Crazy Carrie making out with someone. Wow. Underaged drinking, Drunk driving, Adultery...this really IS a show for the whole family!

Lorelai admits that the dance might be her favourite part of the evening. She asks if Luke has been taking lessons. He says it was "all god given talent." I wouldn't be too proud of that Luke, I wasn't too impressed by your dancing skills.

Lorelai says goodnight, but Luke stops her. He says they should do it again. She asks if he has another wedding to go to. He asks her to a movie. He says he "can be a movie guy." AWW! They repeat the word "Sunday" over again and it makes me think of a wrestling announcer. "Sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!" Lorelai agrees and Luke walks away looking all smug. Smooth, Luke, real smooth. Lorelai turns to watch him leave with an incredibly hilarious shocked look on her face. Lauren Graham rules, seriously.

Luke's apartment. Jess is pack in his fugly leather jacket and packing his bags. Luke walks in and Jess says he was hoping to catch him. Luke says he can stay longer if he wants, but Jess has to get back to work. Luke grabs a beer. God, he's sexy. Did I say that yet? Jess says he left Luke and Liz his cell phone number. Want mine Luke?

Jess gets all quiet before he says that he wants to pay Luke back. For everything. He says he appreciates everything Luke did for him. This scene is making me cry. I'm supposed to hate Jess! Luke says that it's good to hear, but that he already knew. Jess quotes the self-help book. Luke makes me cry harder by saying "I'm here Jess, I'm always here." AW! Jess offers his hand to Luke and Luke pulls him into a hug. Jess hugs him back and I reach for the kleenex. This is officially one of my favourite Gilmore Girls scenes ever. Jess asks Luke if the tie worked out. Luke says the tie was perfect. Again with the damn tie! Jess gives Luke a little buddy like punch and then leaves. Well, he leaves Luke's, not the show. We're not that lucky.

Yale. Rory and Dean are walking through a courtyard. Rory is rejoicing about being done for the summer. She points outthings to Dean. He says that it's "huge". Wow, very descriptive there, genius. Rory shows Dean her room, but he's already seen it. They're both acting a little drunk. Is he driving drunk too? GOD DAMMIT!

Rory asks Dean where Lindsay thinks he is and he says she thinks he's out. And that's why your marriage is failing, Dean. GO HOME! Rory asks him what's going on with him, but they are interrupted by Jess. Oh lord, not these three again. Jess says he needs to talk to Rory. Rory once again chooses Jess over Dean and tells him to go home. He leaves with a grunt. Great comeback. Remind me to write that one down.

Rory wants to know what Jess wants, and I actually feel sorry for Jess in this scene, but just a little bit. He looks so torn up. He tells Rory that he just wanted to see her. He wants her to go with him. To New York where they can start over. Rory says that there is nothing to start. Jess says that she's packed, she's ready and that he's ready. He repeats over and over that she can count on him. She says no. He says they're supposed to be together. She say no about seven times. (See, didn't I tell you to remember that word?). Her voice cracks and she's about to cry. Jess tells her not to say no because she wants him to stop talking, but to say no because she doesn't want to be with him. Rory yells "No!" in his face. Woah, harsh, bitch. Jess' face falls, and boy do I know exactly what he's feeling right now. All too well. He turns and walks out of the room and out of the show. And that, my friends, is what we call closure. Bye Jess. Good luck on Gramercy Park. The la la's pick up as Rory looks around her empty room and sits down on a box and cries.

Next week: THEY KISS! Luke and Lorelai kiss! There's some Rory and Dean **** in there, but who cares, cuz Luke and Lorelai kiss!

Anyway, that's my recap folks. Hope you enjoyed it, and I want to know your opinions!

Tina

That's awesome and funny, Kristi!

-Genevieve-

Famn, that recap rocked Krizzle. You so need to have been doing this the whole season. Can't wait for the one about next week's ep

Kwistina

Omg, you want one for next ep too?


heh..we'll see.

Belle Melange

Great job on the recap, Kristi!

I have to share this tidbit from Pammie's recap though. I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything while reading it.

Kwistina

Yes, that was my favourite part of Pamie's recap, because I've been saying that for years! It drives me nuts when men won't buy women tampons or pads...I mean, it's not like they're for them!


I didn't put it in my recap though, because I didn't want to copy Pamie.

~*~Di Di~*~

Oh Krizzle, your too hilarious. Loved the recap. I agree with Gen, you should do next weeks too.

I also loved that from Pamie's recap. What is with these guys anyway? GRRRR! MEN!!!

mimi mojo java

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I saw this story on Dateline about Child prostitution in BangKok and "yum-yum" means, well, something *Dirty*. And I would think Amy P. would watch Dateline and know that word is well REALLY DIRTY in BangKok.

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I think Krizzle should do a finale recap. You are pretty good, just good , I mean great, just great, I mean fantastic already!

CNR

startstruck

Ooooh, Kristi that was great. You deserve a standing ovation, it's like I actually saw this happen (I haven't seen this 'sode yet, dreadful I know).

It was nice and long. I liked the details. You should do this more often.

Kwistina

Ok, a recaplet to tide you over until I recap the episode.


Raincoats and Recipes 4.22.

The Inn opens and it's all an organized chaos. Lorelai runs into things, including Luke's lips. Dean commits adultery with what looks like a 12 year old Rory. Emily and Richard can't be in the same room with each other, and Jason won't go away. Jackson looks hot in a suit and Kirk runs around naked. Best. Episode. Ever.


Oh yeah, and Java Junkies everywhere pass out from heat stroke. Yes folks, it was THAT hot.

ESipher

::waits patiently::