Ferryboats [His Wife ♥ Her Husband] #6: Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up. #MerDerStrong
 

tftt :) the title sums MD this season.

Lots of good points in the last posts of last thread, both of them were in the wrong, there's lots of mixed feelings, not understanding each other and lack of communication.

I agree that Meredith was feeling jealous last season and this season, it's been portrayed like that which I really hate, she's been being portrayed as this jealous person over her bestfriend and now her husband success. She was never like this at the beginning, hell she came up with the big trail that was a success in season 4, when she was just a resident. Now it feels like she's stuck.

They sure focused on Richard was talking in episode 4 and her expression, plus they brought it back in the flashbacks for episode 8 for a reason..

I hate they start something with Meredith and won't finish it... the research.. never mentioned again.. like give her a medical focused storyline already!! :rolleyes:

I think at most she hates that her career feels stagnant and that is not Derek's fault - it just so happens that his career is taking off while hers isnt

Yeah, and that brings out her maybe some resentment over this fact, she wants to succeed and be appreciated too. Not see everyone move forward professionally while she's still stuck.

I also thinks passion pays a role. She has never been as passionate about this research as she was the trial in season 4. She wouldn't give up when Derek was ready to give up on it then. Seems like she's been giving up much too easily now. General will likely never be Neuro. She needs to do something she loves.

If you compare the two, I totally agree, there was passion and fire. She's been giving up.. like the whole thing with Bailey last season, she just didn't care, she went to pick up her baby! Maybe she didn't realize that's the key, her lack of passion to her speciality. (When I hated the job I had, I used to go half hearted and like let's get this over it.) If only they've been doing this for a reason.. would explain the whole thing.

I think she just needs some professional success. And perhaps it will happen soon.

I truly hope so. Her goals and her career seems to be a big thing this season, plus ''the sun'' comment Shonda seems to be obsessed about.. won't make sense if they won't go anywhere.

And i want Derek to be there to see her shine. All proud and happy for his wife.

That would be perfect... maybe later in the season and they will be in a better place.

Can you imagine her looking up to the gallery and she will see Derek there to her surprise :sigh:

Omg.. :sigh:

I'm half hearted about my own job. There's no passion whatsoever. I feel so much like Mer does about General. Now, if you get me talking about any of my writing projects, I light up like Mer lights up about Neuro.

That's the key.

I disagree that the only thing holding Meredith back is Meredith. She is a mom of two children which is REALLY difficult to balance. So she and the father of those two children looked at each other and said "How do we do this?" and then their plan went by the wayside. Obviously, the turn of events are leaving her more overwhelmed than she even was before. When it becomes absolutely necessary to split yourself up more ways than you were planning, you're going to struggle more. That's not a choice she's making to not move forward- it's the reality of her life.

While she was definitely jealous of Cristina, what she feels with Derek is an entirely different thing altogether - all wrapped up in what it's like to be in a marriage where it's necessary to meet the needs of BOTH people. Richard was so, so threatened by Ellis' success. I think a lot was going on there - him being at the same point in his residency as Ellis (much UNLIKE M/D) and he was being surpassed by his female counterpart. Definitely not a perfect parallel - I think the writers are focusing on this to show how the two couples will deviate in their choices in the end (M/D choosing to be together, of course). We'll see what happens with Mer career-wise. Honestly, the setbacks she has experienced via the writers are really minor when you put it in perspective. This is where I see the jealousy with Cristina much more prevalent - it was a colleague that is at her same stage surpassing her that stung, much like Ellis & Richard.

As far as her not giving it enough of her time and effort because she's too busy living it up with her friends - blah, nooooo. So often on twitter these past two months I've seen so many young girls (who are NOT mothers, I might add) accussing her of this and then turning around and accussing her of being a neglectful mother and wife as well because how DARE she see her friends or go to the bar. So misguided, and such a ridiculous assessment. I actually read some dumb two-shot that depicted poor Derek stuck constantly looking after the children by himself because Mer couldn't deign to tear herself away from Alex's side. What was sadder is in the comments people actually accepted this as canon. For the record, the show has NEVER indiicated she neglected her children in lieu of her friends. They never even had Derek complaining the responsibilities were all falling on him. Never.

Michelle, I'm aware that you think Meredith can do no wrong and anyone who insinuates she is flawed is wrong. No, we didn't see Derek complain about her hanging with her friends. We only are left to assume and make our own judgments on the situation. We all have different perceptions of what life in Casa MerDer looked like during 11A since we barely had insight into it, only having seeing little glimpses and hearing statements from Meredith when she was out with Callie and Jo's jealousy comments, which could easily be exaggerated, but were they? We will never know, I guess.

Mer is not perfect. Believe it or not, busy mother or not, she is partially to blame for her failures. She needs to find her passion and choose to fight and stand on her own ground. At the same time, she needs to learn to balance her family as well. Too many shows (SVU and Elliot, Criminal Minds and Hotch, etc) show characters choosing their work and neglecting their family. Honestly, out of all television characters, I think JJ on Criminal Minds does the best at balancing both worlds. While she's very passionate about her job, she always makes time for her son. I think she's a true inspiration. Mer needs to find that balance and passion.