Troian Bellisario - News & Appearances #7: Moving on to bigger and better projects! - Page 2

t2727 · 07-18-2017, 12:08 PM

Thanks

**BlondieLeigh** · 07-18-2017, 12:28 PM

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Pretty Little Liars Star Troian Bellisario on How Writing, Producing ‘Feed’ Helped Her Overcome an Eating Disorder

Troian Bellisario is best known for starring on “Pretty Little Liars” for seven years, but little do her legions of fans know, she was hard at work on another project before “PLL” even began.

“Feed” — a film written, produced, and starring Bellisario — is inspired by the multi-hyphenate’s own experiences with an eating disorder. The movie, in which she stars opposite “Harry Potter” alum Tom Felton, debuts July 18 on VOD and all digital platforms.

“It had been living in my head for about eight years and had gone through so many different iterations,” Bellisario, 31, tells Variety of the writing process for “Feed” that began when she was 23 years old, roughly four years after her hospitalization for anorexia.

“I had enough distance to begin to write about this experience, and not write about it like a diary entry, but to create a world and characters that are different than my own experience, and speak about what I thought it was like to engage with this illness and try to get out from under it,” says Bellisario, explaining that “Feed,” is not biographical, but rather inspired by her own illness.

And so, working on “Feed” became a source of healing for Bellisario.

“There was one doctor who told me that when a lot of people go in for treatment, they won’t feel like they’ve come out from under their eating disorder until about 10 years of therapy. I didn’t understand that,” Bellisario admits. “I was so new to my therapist and everything that we were doing and I was like, ‘No, I should just be able to stop.’ I didn’t see that a lot of my thought patterns wouldn’t be normalized or made healthy again until after that 10 years, so what I thought I could do in that meantime was write about my experience and channel this story. And what if it can inspire other people to close the chapter in their life? I didn’t want to be struggling with this mental illness in my 30s. I didn’t want to be struggling with this mental illness in my 40s. I didn’t want to, god forbid, have a child and still be thinking in these patterns and talk to my daughter about it.”

She adds, “Over the eight years of slipping back into some unhealthy places and then getting back to it and speaking to therapists, it was amazing to have ‘Feed’ to go back to and think, ‘This is what it felt like when it was happening, but now I’m five years out, now I’m six years out, now I’m eight years out, and now, how do I feel about this, as an artist talking about this as a story — and not as my own story?’ I felt like I really needed that distance to be able to see it clearly.”

Bellisario admits that the process of creating the film was both “therapeutic,” but at the same time, also “inflammatory,” partly because she decided to star in the project. Those around her tried to convince her not to act in “Feed” because they feared it would be too traumatic.

“So many people in my life read the script and said, ‘Wow, I totally understand why you wrote this,’ but then when I said I am also going to act in it, so many people were like, ‘Why?’ because engaging in this disorder and engaging with this role and taking on this experience again would involve weight loss, it would involve some of the conversations that I had with a therapist and re-hashing those feelings. So everybody around me was like, ‘Are you sure you want to do this?'”

To ensure that she remained healthy through the hands-on process, Bellisario says not only did she have a great support group around her, but she also stayed in close contact with her therapist, who treated her when she was battling anorexia.

“I wasn’t prepared for coming off of that set and going into her and how much of it was going to be aggravated. And it was amazing because she was right there to catch me,” Bellisario explains of working with her therapist. “It was incredibly challenging, but it was also wonderful because I was in a healthy enough mind space.”

While “Feed” proved to be an instrumental tool in Bellisario overcoming her illness, the film also helped the actress evolve into, well, much more than an actress. The project marks Bellisario’s film debut as a writer and producer, piquing her interest in a wide variety of career possibilities, following “Pretty Little Liars.”

Starring as Spencer Hastings for seven seasons of “Liars” catapulted Bellisario to stardom, as the series become a pop culture phenomenon, and introduced her to millions of loyal followers. The show also provided her the opportunity to make her directorial debut on the final season of the Freeform hit — which, spoiler alert!, revealed her to be the ultimate “A” villain after seven years of whodunnit fake-outs.

“It was mostly a total blast because for seven years, so many members of the crew were suggesting I try my hand at that,” Bellisario recalls of directing her first episode, laughing that she was always asking a lot of questions on set and had “a lot” of opinions throughout the show’s run. To prepare for her directorial debut, Bellisario enrolled in the Warner Bros. director’s program, which consisted of seven weeks of intensive all-day Saturday prep work, which she was able to do on the “PLL” set. She jokes, “I was already living on the Warner Bros. lot Monday through Friday, so why not make it six days per week?”

Though she wore many different hats on “Feed” between acting, writing, and producing, Bellisario’s close friend Tommy Bertelsen directed the film. “It was truly a collaborative team effort between the two of us,” she said. “He was really wonderful in that he helped me define my role in that three-pronged approach.”

While she chose not to direct “Feed,” Bellisario has caught the directing bug and is excited about Hollywood championing more and more female directors today — something that appears to have been cemented this summer by the success of “Wonder Woman,” directed by Patty Jenkins.

“I was at the premiere,” Bellisario recalls, with a smile, “And I could cry about it right now because I saw all of these young girls dressed up as Wonder Woman and they were so excited, and I remember when I was younger and ‘Kill Bill’ came out and I went to the theater with a plastic samurai sword because I was so excited there was a female action movie. This is on a totally different level because it’s directed by a woman and it’s about a female superhero.”

Bellisario is optimistic about the industry finally recognizing women as storytellers, even though there’s much more work to be done in the industry’s fight toward gender equality.

“When a guy directs a romantic comedy, we’re not like, ‘Wow! How amazing! He really got out of the box with that rom-com!’ But when we’re talking about a woman who’s directing an action movie, it’s like, ‘Wow! Isn’t it so amazing?’ And no, she’s a director — she’s just a director. We need to stop seeing women as exceptions to the rule.”

Bellisario grew up in an industry household — her father is “NCIS” and “Magnum, P.I.” creator Donald P. Bellisario, and her mother is writer-producer Deborah Pratt — so she was always encouraged to pursue her entertainment career, despite barriers for women. “In my family, it never felt like we were on the outside,” she says. “It never felt like my dad was the only director in the family. My mom was a director. But that’s in my bubble.”

“What I’m so excited about and optimistic about is that it feels like the work is being done,” she continues. “It feels like people are excited to get a woman behind the camera. I think that we should continue the good fight, but I do think that there’s been a lot of incredible progress being made, and I’m just excited to be in Hollywood in a time where that’s happening.”

As for what’s next?

“So many people say, ‘What’s next?'” Bellisario says. “Being on a show for seven years and getting to play Spencer and go down in that rabbit hole was so wonderful, but it was also so all-consuming. I think right now, I feel that what I’m most excited to do is be a bit untethered and have my choice of options.”

As an actor, Bellisario recently signed onto Richard Linklater’s “Where’d You Go, Bernadette,” opposite Cate Blanchett, Kristen Wiig, and Billy Crudup, and says she’d like to explore film, in addition to getting back to her theater roots. (She graduated from USC’s School of Dramatic Arts in 2009.) She says if she were to sign onto another television series, the project would likely be a shorter episode-run, as opposed to the 20-plus episodes-per-season, like “Liars,” which had her working five days a week for nine months of the year.

“I’ve been so inspired by a lot of television series that are taking the time to write everything ahead of time and then do 10 episodes, which is really like doing a very intensive film,” Bellisario explains. “I’m very, very excited to find that next world and that next set of characters that would make me want to do more television, but it’s a decision that I wouldn’t take lightly and it would have to be something that I was absolutely in love with.”

But right now, her focus is on the release of “Feed.”

“I feel incredibly grateful for the opportunities I’ve been given,” she says, “And particularly with this film, I feel like I get to share a part of myself with the world.”

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**BlondieLeigh** · 07-19-2017, 11:41 AM

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Troian Bellisario Gets Real About Her Struggle with Mental Health
The Pretty Little Liars star on learning to listen to her body instead of the punishing voice in her head.

We were swimming our second lap in the lake when I lost the feeling in my toes. When you first jump in water this cold you scream, gasp for air, but immediately laugh because it makes you feel extra-alive. You learn, after a few jumps, you don't have to fear the cold. If you move around, it fades away. Soon, it's as if you're inside a house looking out at a snow flurry as it lightly taps the windows. You know there is cold, all around you, but it can't hurt you.

For a while, this kind of numb makes me feel invincible.

But now, after maybe a half-hour in the water, the cold has returned, and not just outside the window, it's in my skin. Beneath the surface, I probably looked like a chicken breast sitting under plastic in a refrigerator of a grocery store, pale and goose-pimpled. Then it's in my joints, making it difficult to move. Soon, it's in my bones, so much that even though I knew I was kicking my legs, I couldn't tell you where they ended and the water began. I wasn't even sure if I had toes anymore.

Suddenly, I'm in very familiar territory. I know I should get out of the water before I hurt myself or make myself sick, but I just don't. I keep swimming.

Here I am, 31 years old, and I'm still denying my body the one thing it is asking me to do: take care of it.

***

When I shot the pilot of Pretty Little Liars, it was December in Vancouver, and I was 24 years old. We were shooting a summer scene (the exterior of the funeral for Alison, the Queen Bee of Rosewood), and even though I don't remember exactly how cold it was outside, I can tell you it was too cold to snow. The girls and I were dressed in skimpy black dresses with kitten heels and ballet flats. Later, in editing, they could push the saturation, add a golden filter, and BAM, it would look like we were sweating in July. But while we were shooting, well, it was December in Canada.

"Rolling!" yelled the assistant director, and wardrobe would rush in and apologetically remove the giant down coats from our shoulders. Everyone watched, hoping we could get the scene before our jaws locked or our shoulders unintentionally rose around our ears. Eventually, Leslie, our director, yelled "Cut!,"and the beautiful warm jackets reappeared.

Wanting to be the most professional I could be, I sniffed back the snot that was threatening to ruin every take and forced my shoulders to stay where they were, even though I could see my breath on the air. I looked around: Lucy, Ashley, and Shay all seemed cold but fine; they looked professional, powerful. Was I not cut out for this? I pushed that thought out of my mind. Suck it up, Bellisario, do your job.

There came a point when I mentioned offhand, "Huh, I can't feel my feet." "Stop!"a voice screamed, and an angel in the form of a crew member descended upon me and demanded I follow her inside the church we were shooting near.

She sat me down, removed my shoes, and began to rub my feet. She asked me to let her know when I had feeling in them again. "Don't worry about my feet! They're fine!"I tried to sweetly wiggle away from her, my eyes flitting to the crew that was waiting nearby. I was holding up production, a production that costs thousands of dollars per minute, all for my stupid comment about my stupid toes. I started to panic: Everyone is going to think I'm a diva, that I can't hack it, that I'm a horrible actor, and they'll never want to work with me again.

But the angel remained resolute. She told me that she had worked with people who had lost toes to frostbite, and she wasn't about to see me lose mine. Eventually, I announced (truthfully) that the feeling in my feet had returned, and she let me go.

I braced myself to be yelled at by someone, anyone, in a position of authority. How dare you hold up this massive production? How dare you be so weak? So demanding! But there was no punishment to be found, not even a sideways glance. Everyone just asked me if I felt better and felt ready to return to the scene.

Why did I need a complete stranger's permission to take care of myself?

****

Seven years later (and wiser?), there I was, swimming in a lake for fun, and still I couldn't do it. My friend and I had casually agreed to try for threetimes around the island in the lake. It was just a fun challenge when we jokingly announced it to the rest of the friends and family. But now, coming around the corner of lap two, I could feel my limbs shutting down. Just like in Vancouver, despite my body desperately needing something, I didn't want to appear weak or let people down. Where was my angel to take care of me now?

So what? You might say. Don't be crazy; you can get out of the water anytime. Who cares? Great question. I ask it of myself all the time. Who cares if I can't swim that long in cold water? Who cares if I need to stop the scene to take care of my toes? Who cares?

I do, said a familiar voice inside my head. Oh, right. You.

My friend is a long-distance swimmer, and she seemed cold but ready to keep going.

"Troian, do you want to stop?"

That voice, that familiar voice in the back of my skull that tells me it cares. It cares if I demand things of a production, it cares if I quit early, if I fail. It is a voice I know intimately; it is my greatest and best of enemies. I know what that voice will say if I stop. I know the trouble I'll be in.

"Nope," I said, my teeth chattering with excitement. "I'm fine!" She wasn't buying it, but matching my determinism, we went around again anyway. When we came in, who cheered for the cold and weary warriors? Who hoisted us up in honor and fed us warm drinks in celebration? No one, because this was a necessary challenge to no one but myself. There was no great competition, except between my body and my head.

***

As someone who struggles with a mental illness, my biggest challenge is that I don't always know which voice inside me is speaking. My body voice, the one that says, Troian, I'm cold, get out of the lake, or my illness: You told everyone three times, so you can't disappoint them. You are not enough. Who cares about the difference between two times around and three? I do.

There is a part of my brain that defies logic. Once, it completely convinced me I should live off 300 calories a day, and at some point, it told me even that was too much. That part of my brain is my disease, and there was a time when it had absolute authority over me. It almost killed me, and you can see that even though I have lived in recovery for ten years now, it still finds loads of fun, insidious ways to thwart me to this day. It was a difficult journey finding my way back to health. Through hard introspection, intense medical and mental care, a supportive family, friends, and a patient and loving partner, I survived, which is rare.

But I don't want to just survive that part of my life. I want to create in rebellion. I want to stop looking at the clocks. I wanna get paint all over the floor and build a wall of feedback in the amp so loud that it starts a mosh pit as I scream back in the face of my disease: I AM ENOUGH!

It's just not that easy. Sometimes I still find myself being pushed by an invisible taskmaster, working to the point of exhaustion, swimming with numb toes. The voice of my disease is with me every day. I am practiced at ignoring it, for the most part, but it's still there, finding new ways to undermine me. That's partially why I wrote Feed. I wanted to channel that voice into a story and out of myself. I wanted to create a character who also wondered how she could be enough.

Writing, producing, and acting in it helped me to get one more degree of separation from my disease in what I know will be a lifetime of work in recovery. It is my greatest hope that someone watching it, struggling with the same challenges I do, might think, What if I were enough too? So with all the courage I can muster, I give it to you, I give it to that one person, in hopes that it could make them feel enough.

Maybe by the time you see it, I will have gotten out of the cold water and be warming myself in the sun.

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**BlondieLeigh** · 07-20-2017, 12:20 PM

Hi Tumblr, have a question for Troian Bellisario?

Actress, writer, and producer Troian Bellisario will be joining us for an Answer Time to take questions about her new film Feed right here on @postitforward on July 26th at 3pm EST.

Submit your questions here! ��

If you are struggling with an eating disorder and are in need of support, please call the National Eating Disorders Association Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. For a 24-hour crisis line, text “NEDA” to 741741 to be connected with a trained volunteer at Crisis Text Line.
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t2727 · 07-20-2017, 12:41 PM

Ooh what should we ask her? I suggest asking about what happened to out wedding invites as a start.

**BlondieLeigh** · 07-21-2017, 01:10 PM

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Troian Bellisario Is Glad Eating Disorders Are Being Presented Truthfully In Film
Her new movie, “Feed,” was inspired by her own experience with anorexia.

Mental health has always been a subject that not many people openly speak about. But why should the topic be silenced in the entertainment industry? That’s clearly a question a lot of creators have been debating recently.

Troian Bellisario, for instance, just released “Feed,” which she wrote and stars in. The movie, inspired by the “Pretty Little Liars” star’s own experience with mental illness, tells the story of a teenage girl who struggles with an eating disorder following the tragic death of her twin brother (played by Tom Felton). It opens up a conversation about anorexia and what the struggle of acceptance and recovery is really about.

“It’s a challenging time for this community because talking about it always brings up feelings, but I think it’s also really important for us to be open in our conversations and not be treated as a taboo subject because eating disorders are alienating,” Bellisario told HuffPost during a Build Series interview on Friday.

“They are isolating and they leave you to feel like nobody understands your experience and you’re suffering alone, and that’s actually how they’re designed to keep you in a place of pain. You know that your disorder is screaming so loud when it tells you, ‘You can’t ever tell anybody about this because you’ll never get out and nobody will understand you or help you.’ So, I think the fact that we’re talking about it and making treatment not scary but a possibility for people. I think it’s a really important conversation, as challenging as it might be.”

“Feed,” now on iTunes and video on demand, comes just as Netflix’s “To the Bone” has been surrounded by controversy for its depiction of an eating disorder. The film starring Lily Collins and written by “UnREAL” co-creator Marti Noxon shows a young girl undergoing several attempts at recovery. The debate follows backlash over the streaming site’s series “13 Reasons Why” for that show’s unfiltered depiction of suicide.

But again, the discussion around mental health should not be taboo. With the recent deaths of talent like musicians Chester Bennington and Chris Cornell, the flood gates should be open ― it’s pertinent.

“It’s important to engage in the conversation with other people,” Bellisario said. “I just started speaking out to other members of my community that have also been struggling with this and it’s been wonderful to get to talk to them about their good days and their bad days and what it’s like to choose to consistently work toward your recovery. You can ask anyone who struggles with an addiction, it’s like if you see that substance or that relationship come up again, it’s going to be a challenge for you. And it’s the same thing for somebody who at one point has had a very disordered relationship with food. What do we do three times a day? We eat. So it’s three times or more an opportunity for you to either choose to engage with food in a healthy way or slip back into old habits.”

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**BlondieLeigh** · 07-22-2017, 12:59 PM

**BlondieLeigh** · 07-24-2017, 12:47 PM

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This Bar Saves Lives® Announces Domestic Giving Initiative with Troian Bellisario and Patrick Adams
Fighting Hunger Locally with Feeding America

On behalf of This Bar Saves Lives, Troian Bellisario and Patrick Adams announced today that the company will partner with Feeding America, the nation’s largest domestic hunger-relief organization. From now until Labor Day, for every bar purchased at select Starbucks and Target locations, This Bar Saves Lives will donate a meal to a child in need in the United States.

“Raising awareness about child hunger in the U.S. has always been a subject that is incredibly personal and important to me,” said Bellisario. “I’m thrilled to be a part of such an exciting and important initiative.”

“This Bar's partnership with Feeding America is a powerful acknowledgement that child hunger is not just a problem overseas but something we need to tackle head-on at home. I couldn't be more proud to be working with everyone at This Bar Saves Lives to draw more attention to this problem and to help children in need find their way to an important and potentially life-saving meal," said Adams.

Hunger is not only a global problem, but also a domestic one. One in six children in the U.S. do not know where their next meal will come from. The problem worsens during the summer time, when millions of children are left without access to the federally funded food they usually receive in school. Organizations like Feeding America are leading the way to a more food-secure future.

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***Artemis*** · 07-24-2017, 07:18 PM

Love seeing so many interviews from our girl. You go, girl! Spread your message and love.

**Summer Falls** · 07-26-2017, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiss of Death (View Post)

Love seeing so many interviews from our girl. You go, girl! Spread your message and love.

amen

**BlondieLeigh** · 07-26-2017, 03:09 PM

From her post it forward tumblr Q&A -

Quote:

What do you most look forward to out of your upcoming projects?

I’m really thrilled to be a part of Richard Linklater’s new film, “Where’d you go, Bernadette.” I loved the book, I’m a huge fan of his films and I’m over the moon to be working with the incredibly talented cast of people he has assembled.

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**BlondieLeigh** · 07-27-2017, 01:33 PM

t2727 · 07-28-2017, 11:13 AM

Thanks.

**BlondieLeigh** · 07-28-2017, 12:07 PM

**BlondieLeigh** · 08-05-2017, 12:48 PM


Fan Forum > Female Celebrities > Troian Bellisario > News & Appearances #7: Moving on to bigger and better projects!