I bet you thought I was Alison, didn't you? Well, sorry, but I'm not. Duh. She's dead. Nope, I'm very much alive ... and I'm very, very close. And for a certain clique of four pretty girls, the fun has just started. Why? 'Cause I say so. Naughty behavior deserves punishment, after all ... Life's so much fun when you know everything. Just how do I know so much? ... Believe me, I'd love to tell you. But what's the fun in that? I'll be watching.

If you were as smart as me, you'd probably have figured out who I am by now. OMG, not being a genius must be so annoying. And I can't help you with that one — I've got my hands full with four pretty little liars at the moment. But since you've been so patient, I'll give you one hint: Spencer may have a 4.0, but I've got As to my name too. Kisses!

I've got a busy life, things to do, people to torture. Like four pretty little ex-best friends ... Everyone in this town has something to hide. In fact, there's something even juicier than the identity of moi bubbling beneath Rosewood's glistening surface. Something so shocking, you wouldn't believe me if I told you. So I won't even bother. HA. You know, I kind of love being me. Buckle up, girlies. Nothing is as it seems. Mwah!

So after big bad A departed this dear world, our Pretty Little Liars were finally able to live in peace ... Oh, and none of them ever told a lie again. Are you effing kidding me? Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. There's no happily ever after in Rosewood. I mean, have you learned nothing? Once a pretty little liar, always a pretty little liar ... So who am I? Well, let's just say there's a new A in town, and this time our girlies aren’t getting off so easily. See ya soon. And until then, try not to be too good. Life’s always more fun with a few pretty little secrets. Mwah!

I suppose I could let bygones be bygones, forgive and forget, yadda yadda. But where's the fun in that? These pretty little bitches got everything I ever wanted, and now I'm going to make sure they get exactly what they deserve. Does that make me sound awful? Sorry, but as every pretty little liar knows, sometimes the truth's ugly — and it always hurts. I'll be watching. Mwah!

And what about me? Am I on these girls' sides, or am I pulling all the strings? But here's the million-dollar question: Who — or what — did they just see rise from the ashes? ... It's enough to make anyone crazy. The Radley may be closed for business, but there are other loony bins nearby. By the time I'm done with Hanna, Aria, Spencer, and Emily, four pretty new patients might just be checking in. Sleep tight, girlies. While you still can. Kisses!

So where do we go from here? A body has been found. DNA has been collected. An arrest has been made, a mug shot taken. But is it my mug shot? ... Well, you'll just have to stay tuned because I'm keeping that my last little secret. For now, anyway. Kisses.

Your brain stalls for a moment. There's something familiar about those names, isn't there? Sort of like a scrambled version of your favorite song, or an anagram of a common phrase. The girl looks familiar, too — you've seen that sparkly, I-know-something-you-don't smirk before. You think of a picture on a milk carton you saw long ago. You think of that girl on the news. Could it be ... ? Nah, you decide. That's crazy. You wave at her and she waves back. Suddenly, you have a feeling she’s going to pick you as her brand-new very best friend. You have a feeling your whole life is going to change. And just like that, it does.

Did you really think it was over? Please. As long as these girls are misbehaving, I'll be watching. And boy, have they been bad ... Stick with me, kids. It's about to get so good ...

These pretty little liars just can't help but be bad, and I can't help but torture them. They call that a symbiotic relationship, right? ... I'd say these ladies need a vacation, but given what they did on their last getaway, that’s probably not the best idea. And besides, watching the drama unfold is like a holiday for moi! Until next time, bitches. Mwah!

Don't you love a story that ends with a bang? And those aren't the only fireworks I have in store for the liars. They're gearing up for a week in the Caribbean with students from all over Pennsylvania -- and me! ... The liars better enjoy the smooth sailing while they can. I hear there are sharks in the Caribbean Sea, and they can always smell blood ...

Yep, I did it. And I'm only getting started. The rescue crew may have thrown the girls a lifeline, but these liars are still a sinking ship. It's just a matter of time before they go down for good ... Enjoy the sunshine while you can, ladies. Tans fade so quickly when you're behind bars. Kisses!

Soon enough, Ali won't be the only one in Rosewood to die tragically and too young. Sound harsh? Well, what can I say? These bitches ruined my life. And I believe in an eye for an eye. Or in my case, their lives for mine. So who am I? You'll know soon enough. But until then, I'm the shadow in the window, the whisper in the wind, the nagging feeling that someone is watching, waiting ... Buckle up, ladies. If I have anything to say about it, this New Year's will be your last.