I don't have a problem being 33 and not having kids. If only my mom would back off with the guilt trips. She is so annoying about it. Completely passive aggressive. "If I live to see my grandchildren..." :rolleyes:

My mum is fine about it. Hs mum however...not so much! Probably hates me as her only child chose the woman who doesn't want children. Shock. Horror! :eek:

Yup..40 no kids, never ever had a boyfriend or a serious relationship thing going. My mum is cool with it. I'm cool with it. I guess I'm one of these people that value looking for higher purpose and meaning rather than something "normal". It's what us RH negs are like, there are people with similar stories and when I read them it affirms that you aren't a "freak", you're just different.
I've always hated conforming to society views and values and it helps me to stay grounded. No real regrets here.

I'm very fortunate to have 3 wonderful kids. Very fortunate. Some people have awful kids, and it's really no big issue to not want children. I'm the eldest of 5 and I'm the only one who has had children. And I was 33 when I had my first. Glad to have been a little older because I decided then that I really wanted them.

Now, it's the husband that I have problems with!! :D

Donna, that is so sweet. :)
I also think I am going to wait before having children since I have to finish my PhD and I would like to start working as a university teacher first... I could have children in 5-6 years or so...
Of course, if I find the right person to have them with, if not...
Then it's just going to be little ol me! :)

I see nothing wrong with not having kids. I tend to be jeLous of my kidless friends because of the freedom they have. I do want to say the longer you wait to have kids (if u decide that's what you want) is that your body might have other plans. Some woman get pregnant after 35 with no problems and have uneventful prenancies. But the older u get the more risks there are. My neighbor just had baby number five at 42 and almost died during delivery. Another older lady here had her little girl an month and a half early. Both within a couple weeks of each other. I think if I got pregnant now at 43 my uterus would fall out.

OMG I'm so sorry to hear that about your neighbour! :(
It's scary how frightened I am of giving birth. Of course, the most difficult part comes later, when you have to raise your children properly, but still... The notion of the physical pain you must go through during childbirth is almost too much for me. I don't know why. All of my friends tell me that it's not really such a big deal, a few hours of pain and you're "good to go", it's a perfectly natural process and so on... But still I'm incredibly scared and I don't know why.

I don't know if I would want to have kids without having a partner... My good friend is 37 and she decided to have a child even though she is single. She said she didn't want to miss out on the fulfillment being a mother could bring... She told me she didn't care that she would be a single parent, she just wanted to have a child and I guess that's OK, but I am also scared of that because I know how hard that is (my mom was practically a single parent after our Dad took flight) and I just don't know anymore...

Also, a good man is hard to find... Most friends that I know are interested in one night stands, easy life, partying... They are not ready for long relationships, commitments, obligations... They're fine with living at their parents' place even if some of them are nearing their 40s... Like boys, really, boys who look like men... Some of them who have long-term girlfriends cheat on them... :( Which is another thing I don't get... :( If that woman is not enough for you, if you feel the need to cheat on her, then why are you with her still? Force of habit? That's ultimately unfair towards that oblivious girl. :(

As you can see, I am really scared of emotional bonding, relationships and family forming... Yikes! :( Maybe I'm just insecure because of how my parents' marriage turned out.

Perhaps I am too demanding or I constantly need someone to assure me that they love me and that they aren't going to leave me... :(

I saw many couples who were all lovey-dovey during the first couple of months of dating/or years, but after a decade of being in the same relationship they seem like "partners" or "great friends", "housemates".. It's as if all the chemistry has disappeared... And husbands don't surprise their wives anymore, with gifts or cute little things... :( They don't help with kids, with housework... At least it's like that here where I live. After some years, wife becomes like a mother to them... She cooks, cleans, washes and irons their clothes, she tells them where the things they can't find are, helps kids with homework... Women are the pillar of the family, sometimes I have a feeling that without them, everything would fall apart and crumble... It's obvious, when you see a single/divorced guy living alone: his apartment is filthy, his clothes as well, he heats up frozen food in the microwave... Men need women to look after them as if they were little boys. :(

I guess another reason why I am so enthralled by Josh is because of the way he treats Diane. After 7 years, he gives her that same adoring look and he constantly shows her she means the world to him... I would like to meet a person like that. :(

OK... I guess I've rambled on for too long. *hides and runs away in shame after the longest off topic post in history of this forum*

This line is pivotal, Emma. If this is how you really feel, people will subconsciously perceive this fear -- even the little boy-guys! I understand it stems from your father leaving your family. A father's absence can often leave quite a hole, to be felt even years later.

I grew up pretty shy and kind of sheltered, but I decided that if I wanted marriage and children I was going to place myself in the position to make that happen. The pool to choose from may be shallow, but I knew I wanted a man with the same values and standards that I have. Now mind you, my husband drives me crazy because he's opinionated and kind of awkward with people, but I know how to handle him. However, when it comes to family and children we have the exact same values. He is a very hard worker, is dedicated to our family, believes in marriage and loves me.

It is hard. Two people are often two very different people. But you have to be very discerning early on. It's important to decide before marriage if the differences are too great to manage for a lifetime, or if they're refreshing to the relationship. Yeah, guys sometimes need reminders to treat their spouse to flowers and little surprises. They're under great pressure, too, after all, often as the main breadwinner of the household.

And don't be afraid of childbirth. I delivered all 3 without epidural. No problems, and I had my last at 39. It's really not bad at all. Just prepare yourself well and work with your doctor. And guess what? After it all, you get this beautiful child that you've created and is yours to take home, raise and love with all your heart.

You've just summed up my marriage Emma!

Also finding Mr Right, if there is such a thing, is hard! You make compromises on what you're looking for in a partner/relationship and then have to live with those compromises...quite literally!

And then I should hasten to add comes the problem of genetics into the mix. As I have seen with my family and a history of dementia and cancer to contend with. The problem is..Could you bring a child into the world knowing that a genetic time-bomb could be ticking away inside them?. Personally I couldn't do that to a child which is why I really wouldn't choose to have one.
At the end of the day I think if you believe in re-incarnation and that we've all done our "life loops" previously then we've all had kids somewhere, sometime. Maybe we meet up with our descendents as friends in another life.
That's how I think of it..

I don't believe in reincarnation. This is it, here and now.

^Same here. Gotta live this one life to the fullest. :nod:

Cancer is everywhere nowadays, whether your genetically prone to it or not! Can let fear rule your life.

I'm going away for a couple of nights so enjoy your Josh pics ladies. :) See you on Thursday.

Don't do anything I wouldn't do!!