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Fan Forum > TV Shows - Past > Heroes > Sylar/Elle #137:b/c Now Sylar can shout his love for Elle from the rooftops!

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Old 10-01-2008, 04:32 PM
  #91
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its too heavy..hmmm i wouldnt be able to go on it anyway my friend always wants to go freakin book shopping im over now i hardly have time to read but i think i gte to buy my heroes dvd today with the free pen squeeeeeeeeeeee

omg u have to add this to fanfic.net ;thud:
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:33 PM
  #92
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people always leave

for example this guy...even though he just returned
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:33 PM
  #93
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yea couple of grammar mistakes

hey kush
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:34 PM
  #94
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yea

oh well it shouldnt affect my mark that bad

thats why i have to wiat until he hands it back so i can improve on it hehe
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:35 PM
  #95
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It could stand a little tightening up, but for something you did at 2am it's not too bad.
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:36 PM
  #96
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i c..
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They're like so in love
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:36 PM
  #97
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..bye
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:37 PM
  #98
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kush

i see no grammer mistakes which is why laurenenglish exists hehe

omg but jas i wnat more snippets squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:37 PM
  #99
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already.. bye
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They're like so in love
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:39 PM
  #100
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its the part..

happened right? its suppose to be

everything that had happened?

i hate it when i proofread and never see my mistakes until reading it more than once..
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:40 PM
  #101
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i still dont see errors

i gtg to uni now
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:41 PM
  #102
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yup and you could use commas more

bye lauren
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:42 PM
  #103
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It's mostly just missing commas. Some things are worded in a way I wouldn't normally do it, too, but that's why it's your story.
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:44 PM
  #104
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ok

oh well lauren knows less about my story since she is hardly here haha
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Old 10-01-2008, 04:46 PM
  #105
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we don't know much either... just that he left.. and its gonna be depressing
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They're like so in love
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