01. Because she isn't scared of him. (1.01)
02. Because Cuddy watches and quotes General Hospital and that makes House smile. (1.01)
03. Because it's a game, and Cuddy's gonna win. (1.03)
04. Because he has her home phone number, in case anything comes up at three o'clock in the morning. (1.03)
05. Because House thinks Cuddy is an 'excellent council'. (1.03)
06. Because Wilson suspects House has a thing for Cuddy. (1.03)
07. Because Wilson advises House to take his pills and go and 'kiss Cuddy's ass'. (1.03)
08. Because they both love the Yankees. (1.12)
09. Because she likes the way he looks in a lab coat. (1.15)
10. Because she only has thighs for him. (1.18)
11. Because she protects him. (1.18)

Cuddy: Your reputation won't last if you don't do your job; the clinic is part of your job. I want you to do your job.
House: Ah, yes, but as the philosopher Jagger once said, 'You can't always get what you want.' (1.01)

House: I could run home.
Cuddy (looking at his leg): No, you couldn't. (1.03)

Cuddy: ...working with people actually makes you a better doctor.
House: When did I sign up for that course?
Cuddy: When did I give you the impression that I care?
House: Working in this clinic obviously instills a deep sense of compassion. I've got your home number, right? In case anything comes up at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Cuddy: It's not going to work. You know why? Because this is fun. You think of something to make me miserable, I think of something to make you miserable: it's a game! And I'm going to win, because I've got a head start. You are already miserable. (1.04)

House: See, this is why I don’t waste money on shrinks, cause you give me all these really great insights for free.
Cuddy: Shrink. If you would consider going to a shrink, I would pay for it myself. The hospital would hold a bake sale, for God's sake. (1.04)

Cuddy: Good morning, Dr. House.
House: Good morning, Dr. Cuddy! Love that outfit. Says, I’m professional, but I’m still a woman. Actually, it sort of yells the second part.
Cuddy: Yeah, and your big cane is real subtle too. (1.06)

Cuddy: When I hired you, I knew you were insane. I will continue to try and stop you from doing insane things, but once they're done. Trying to convince an insane person not to do insane things is, in itself, insane, so when I hired you I also set aside $50,000 a year for legal expenses. So far you've come in under budget. (1.09)

Cuddy: Oh, why do you have to make everything so dramatic?
House: Because I'm a very high-strung little lapdog. Ruff ruff ruff, rarr, ruff! (1.17)

House: Wow. Well, you've certainly given me a lot to think about. If only I was as open as you.
Cuddy: Well...
House: Actually, it was your blouse I was talking about.(1.20)

01. Because he knows where she keeps her spare keys. (2.03)
02. Because House has done handy-man work for her. (2.03)
03. Because he knows 'where it all happens'. (2.03)
04. Because he likes to get around to her panties. (2.03)
05. Because he knows her tampon size. (2.03)
06. Because they're too nasty to each other not to have been... nasty. (2.03)
07. Because Stacy is curious as to why House is curious about Cuddy. (2.03)
08. Because they're so in sync, they're wearing each other's underwear. (Chop-chop time) (2.03)
09. Because he thinks she's a good boss. (2.03)
10. Because everyone thinks they've had sex before. (2.03)
11. Because House trusts Cuddy enough to drop his pants in front of her. (2.13)
12. Because whenever she gets sick, she makes House take the medicine. (2.16)
13. Because he knows all her poker tells. (2.17)
14. Because even so, she can still beat him at poker. (2.17)
15. Because she doesn't like nice boys. (2.22)
16. Because he broke into her office again. (2.22 Forever)
17. Because going through someone's garbage equals love. (2.22)
18. Because he thinks she's smart, funny, and has a zesty bod. (2.22)
19. Because he knows her ovulation cycle and it's not based on how bitchy she gets. (2.22)
20. Because he wants to know when their "dinner" is going to happen. (2.22)
21. Because he was almost mad at her for not having cancer if that meant she liked Wilson. (2.22)
22. Because he takes an interest in her. (2.22)
23. Because she knows all his friend. (2.23)
24. Because he already got to second base. (2.23)
25. Because microbes can be sneaky. Keep rubbing, House! (2.23 Who's Your Daddy)
26. Because he didn't tell anyone she was trying to have a baby (2.23)
27. Because he thinks she should have her baby with someone she likes. (2.23)
28. Because he clearly wanted her to ask him to be the father of her baby. (2.23)

House: Death row guy. I want the case.
Cuddy: How do you even know about him? You don't have access to the hospital's mainframe.
House: No, but "partypants" does.
Cuddy: You stole my password?
House: Hardly counts as stealing; it's a pretty obvious choice. (2.01)

House: Is it still illegal to perform an autopsy on a living person?
Cuddy: Are you high?
House: If it’s Tuesday, I’m wasted. (2.02)

House: You see the world as it is and you see the world as it could be. What you don’t see is what everybody else sees: the giant, gaping chasm in-between.
Cuddy: House, I’m not naive. I realize-
House: If you did, you never would have hired me. You’re not happy unless things are just right. Which means two things: you’re a good boss and you’ll never be happy. By the way, why does everybody think you and I had sex? Think there could be something to it? (2.03)

House: This girl's father will die by next weekend unless he gets your wife's heart.
Cuddy: House, don't you think that's a little manipulative?
House: No, it's hugely manipulative. (2.14)

Cuddy: You might wanna spend a little more time paying attention to your cards and a little less time staring at my breasts! (2.17)

Cuddy: I can’t even imagine the backwards logic you used to rationalize shooting a corpse.
House: Well if I shot a live person, there’s a lot more paperwork. (2.20)

House: Bad news... estrogen is too high.
Cuddy: No matter how many people you tell otherwise, I am, and always have been, a woman. (2.22)

House: Just admit that you like her... she's smart, funny, got a zesty bod. It's great that you can overlook the fact that she's the devil. (2.22)

House: I don't care if you marry this guy, date him, or go through his trash, you should know, who you are matters. Find someone you trust.
Cuddy: Someone like you?
House: Someone you like. (2.23)

Cuddy: Part of the protocol for in vitro fertilization is twice-daily injections of menotropins. I can’t do it myself.
House: Turn around.
Cuddy: No clever comments about bending over?
House: Not unless you want me to.
Cuddy: I’m just not used to House, the professional.
House: I was just thinking about what your mother looked like, because your father obviously chose her for breeding purposes.
Cuddy: Shut up. (2.23)

Cuddy: Thank you for the injections.
House: You’re welcome. You came all the way up here just to tell me that?
Cuddy: No. (2.23)

01. Because he drank from her water bottle. (3.01)
02. Because she knows exactly what type of cases that he wants ("Oh, well played, Sir.") (3.01)
03. Because he thanked her for putting him in a ketamine-induced coma and changing his life. (3.01)
04. Because he thought about her while in the shower. (3.02)
05. Because he noticed her breasts looked firmer. (3.02)
06. Because he pretended to fall, just to get her to touch him. (3.02)
07. Because he knew that withholding information from him wasn't her idea. (3.02)
08. Because you can't stop their love. (3.04)
09. Because she's ugly when she's jealous. (3.04)
10. Because "I'm ovulating, let's go." (3.04)
11. Because they had laser-pointer sex (3.09)
12. Because she is his dealer. (3.09)
13. Because he finally got to her. (3.09)
14. Because she saved him from going to jail. (3.11)
15. Because she owns his ass. (3.11)
16. Because he knows it. (3.11)
17. Because she's a perjurer. (3.12)
18. Because he's a felon. (3.12)
19. Because it's more than a game to her. (3.12)
20. Because she wants him to find humanity. (3.12)
21. Because he thought she was going kiss him. (3.12)
22. Because it's enough foreplay already (3.12)
23. Because he interrupted her date. (3.14)
24. Because he knew exactly where she would take her date. (3.14)
25. Because he showed up to her place and was surprised to find her date still there. (3.14)
26. Because she thinks he likes her. (3.14)
27. Because she considers he wants her for himself. (3.14)
28. Because nothing else in the world's going on when she talks to him. (3.14)
29. Because she was worried that another hospital was trying to steal her best doctor. (3.15)
30. Because she was scared that he had a brain cancer (3.15)
31. Because when she discovered that he was ill, she still gave him his space, allowing him to come to her. (3.15)
32. Because showing up at her place in the middle of the night allows him to see what she is wearing. (3.15)
33. Because she is there for him if he needs her. (3.15)
34. Because he needs her. (3.15)
35. Because she had to go on her tippy-toes to hug him. (3.15)
36. Because he grabbed her ass. "One small feel for man, one giant ass for man kind." (3.15)
37. Because she smiled when he grabbed her ass and thanked him. (3.15)
38. Because he tried to follow her to her bedroom. (3.15)
39. Because she owned his ass with her come-back: "Call the Make-A-Wish Foundation." (3.15)
40. Because she is naked under her robe and isn't even trying to hide that from him (3.15)
41. Because it's not irrelevant to him that his patient has been with her on a date (3.16)
42. Because she is always in his dreams. (3.16)
43. Because he did think about her in the shower (3.16)
44. Because he's been thinking about her (3.16)
45. Because even though House is lousy with faces, he couldn't forget the guy's face because he made out with Cuddy (3.16)
46. Because she loves the fact that House remembers (3.16)
47. Because he wants private room coverage (3.16)
48. Because she knows he stares at her ass when he thinks she's not looking (and she likes it!) (3.16)
49. Because she gives to him everything he wants (3.16)
50. Because one night he gave to her everything she wanted! (3.16)
51. Because he knows this ship hasn't sailed yet! (3.16)
52. Because "I'm going with you" "I'm good"(3.17)
53. Because she would trust him with her baby's life (3.17)
54. Because now she has a lot more respect for the things he does (3.17)
55. Because, no matter what, he would always choose her life (3.17)
56. Because she gave him tickets for his holidays (3.17)
57. Because she wants him to be happy, even if it means that he has to go away (3.17)
58. Because, clearly, he likes her smell (3.18)
59. Because he thinks she has firm breasts (3.18)
60. Because he fantasizes about Lifeguard!Cuddy and Madre Superior!Cuddy (3.18)
61. Because he saved her (3.18)
62. Because the only time he really cared was when he thought she was sick (3.18)
63. Because she owes him now (3.18)
64. Because they spent some time alone in Singapore (3.18)
65. Because he didn't want to travel alone, but he clearly wanted to travel with Cuddy (3.17 Fetal Position and 3.18)
66. Because he took care of her (3.18)
67. Because he wanted her to take the medications (3.18)
68. Because he was upset 'cause Wilson took her to a play (3.19)
69. Because he was mad at Wilson because he thought Wilson wanted to see her (3.19)
70. Because he needed to know if Wilson and Cuddy had sex (3.19)
71. Because every time Wilson said he wanted Cuddy House panicked (Seriously?) (3.19)
72. Because he wants to see her naked (AGAIN!) (3.19)
73. Because he didn't want Wilson to have sex with her (3.19)
74. Because he asked her out (3.19)
75. Because why can't it be October/October? (3.19)
76. Because relationships shouldn’t be so hard, so he got her tickets for a play (3.19)
77. Because she's an evil cunning woman and that's a massive turn on for him (3.23)
78. Because he can read her body language (3.23)
79. Because he thinks her legs look good in the security lights (3.24)

Cuddy: If you still did your morning run and showered at home you’d be later than usual.
House: Thought of you in the shower. (3.02)

House: After that look, I'm feeling a little frisky. Looks like you're up.
Cuddy: I'm ovulating. Let's go. (3.04)

House: You're hooking me up?
Cuddy: Unfortunately, if I cut you off, it'd give the cops evidence that you don't really need the pain meds.
House: I knew that cleavage was a smokescreen. You're a genius. (3.08)

Cuddy: Is that Vicodin?!
House: Breath mint. Thought you were gonna kiss me.
Cuddy: What happened to rehab?
House: I got out.
Cuddy: It was a scam?
House: Enough foreplay. Are you gonna kiss me or not? (3.12)

Cuddy: Do you like me, House? I was on the phone with Bennett 15 minutes ago. His cell phone’s working. You’re M.O is to avoid me at all costs. And suddenly you need my input on every move you make. I can only assume it’s because I’m on a date.
House: When we met, I noticed…
Cuddy: You noticed he was a Shriner because of the way he parted his hair. You noticed he was a momma’s boy because of the way he blinked his left eye. I’m not interested. I’m not impressed. There are only two reasons anyone would want to screw with me tonight. Either they’re an altruistic, decent person who’s worried about my well being. Or, they want me for them self.
House: You left out the third option. Evil bastard who just wants to mess with other people’s happiness. (3.14)

Cuddy: I'm always here. (3.16)

House: You gave me everything I asked for because one night I gave you everything you-
Cuddy: Stop staring at my ass when you think I’m not looking, showing up at restaurants where I happen to be on a date and fantasizing about me in the shower. That ship sailed long ago House. Get over me. (3.16)

Cuddy: What are you doing?
House: Well, you're trying to be me, so I thought I'd try to be you.
Cuddy: You don't have the cleavage for it. (3.17)

House: [He leans in and starts to smell Cuddy's hair, then her neck.]
Cuddy: You're creeping me out.
House: Then get me a lab. [He moves lower] Pseudomonas smell yeasty. Staph smells musty. Some liver diseases smell of ammonia.
Cuddy: House, I'm not in heat. (3.18)

House: Sorry. You're in the wrong room. My name on the door, my team, my decisions.
Cuddy: My building, my floor, my people! (3.24)

01. Because she couldn't resist being an enabler. (4.01)
02. Because he wanted to test her. (4.05)
03. Because she played a prank on him. (4.05) 04. Because she called him 'Sweetsauce'. (4.14)
05. Because she was willing to risk her job. (4.14)
06. Because "What are you wearing?" "Goodnight, House." (4.14)
07. Because he wanted her to tuck him in. (4.15)
08. Because she brought him to life. (4.15)
09. Because she stayed over. (4.15)
10. Because he puked on her shoes. (4.15)
11. Because she's always there. (4.16)
12. Because she was crying by his bedside. (4.16)
13. Because "I'm here." (4.16)
14. Because she held his hand. (4.16)
15. Because she slept in the chair next to his hospital bed. (4.16)

House: I did it all by myself, mommy.
Cuddy: How'd you know it was me?
House: There's a scent given off by wounded, feral cats. (4.01)

Cuddy: Why are you here?
House: My offices are being used by my teams.
House reaches over and fiddles with the paperclip bowl on Cuddy's desk.
Cuddy: Teams?
House: Which means this is the only place you can yell at me.
Cuddy: You have team-s?
House: Two of them. I wanted to deal with the yelling today because I noticed what you were wearing and I wouldn't have to listen all that closely. (4.03)

Cuddy: You could maim him.
House: I could cure him.
Cuddy: I'm not letting you do it.
House: You going to fire me?
Cuddy: No. (4.05)

House: I know how to kill a man with my thumb.
Cuddy: Who doesn't? (4.06)

Cuddy: You think I like the cameras? You think I want the whole world watching you check out my ass and question my wardrobe?
House: Would it be better if I checked out your wardrobe and questioned your ass?
Cuddy: A little part of me...
House: (interrupting her) There is no little part of you. (4.07)

House: [Eyes boggle.] Oh. My. God. You're not wearing underwear.
Cuddy: Of course I'm...
House: Skirt that tight, you've got no secrets. Skirt that tight, I can tell if you've got an IUD. You seen Dr. Cole?
Cuddy: No.
House: You're blushing.(4.08)

Cuddy: You owe me 50 bucks.
House: Then you owe me half a lap dance. (4.10)

House: You act like employees should fear and respect you, but your eyes tell us- actually your eyes tell us nothing because we're looking at your boobs. Which tells us that you're desperate to have someone jump on you and tell you that they love you one, grunted syllable at a time. What you want you run away from; what you need you haven't a clue; what you've accomplished makes you proud. But you're still miserable. Please sign. (4.13)

House: The other nurse always used to tuck me in.
Cuddy: I’ll be on the couch. With a shotgun in my lap.
House: Worrying about me?
Cuddy: Making sure you don’t try and make a limp for the border. Get some sleep. (4.15)

01. Because she cared enough to shut off his cable. (5.01)
02. Because he didn’t want the PI guy to go for it. (5.03)
03. Because we all know who is gonna get there first. (5.03)
04. Because he wanted her to see him in a different light. (5.03)
05. Because she cared enough to drug him. (5.04)
06. Because he was surprised to hear that she was adopting (5.05)
07. Because "If you're happy, I'm..." (5.05)
08. Because HE went to HER. (5.06)
09. Because HE kissed HER. (5.06)
10. Because their kiss was the most amazing thing we've ever seen. (5.06)
11. Because "Goodnight".... "Goodnight." (5.06)
12. Because he isn't being rational. (5.07)
13. Because it's not Wilson's place he really wants to be walking into. (5.07)
14. Because there is no mosquito, it's all about Cuddy. (5.07)
15. Because she's a bit nuts, beautiful, smart and funny, and most important, she can stand him. (5.07)
16. Because maybe novelty and hostility and forbiddenness doesn't have to end bad. (5.07)
17. Because House is in love with a girl, the finest girl in the world. (5.07)
18. Because if it doesn't work with her, then maybe there's no one out there. (5.07)
19. Because she handled it differently because he was in there. (5.09)
20. Because "I hope your boyfriend knows what he's doing." (5.09)
21. Because she wanted to share an office with him. (5.10)
22. Because he was keeping her there. (5.10)
23. Because they're screwing with each other. (5.10)
24. Because he found her desk from Med School. (5.10)
25. Because she took his 'Ah-ha' moment. (5.11)
26. Because "Merry Christmas, Cuddy." (5.11)
27. Because he did a DDX in a nursery. (5.12)
28. Because he was stroking her desk. (5.12)
29. Because he wanted her to do her job. (5.12)
30. Because Cuddy is the only one House listens to. (5.13)
31. Because he held her daughter like his own. (5.13)
32. Because Cuddy was glowing when House was holding her daughter. (5.13 Big Baby)
33. Because she cleaned him up. (5.13)
34. Because his puke isn't AS cute. (5.13)
35. Because he knew she was afraid of having made a mistake and was completely honest to her about it. (5.13)
36. Because his opinion matters to her. (5.13)
37. Because he's not annoyed by Rachel's crying. (5.13)
38. Because he told her to put the phone down and pick up the baby. (5.13 Big Baby)
39. Because he bonded with Rachel. (5.13)
40. Because he was not trying to annoy her. (5.13)
41. Because he was explaining her. (5.13)
42. Because of the way he looks at her when she talks about her connection to Rachel. (5.13)
43. Because he played a serenade for her. (5.15)
44. Because she marked her territory. (5.21)

House: I've spent half my life negotiating with that woman. (5.03)

Cuddy: Sorry about your father.
House: I'm not. Are we done emoting now?
Cuddy: If there's anything I can do, just —
House: You know, you're right. I don't think I can sleep alone tonight. (5.04)

House: Where are you meeting her?
Cuddy: A little place called 'Follow Me And Your Urologist Will Be Buying Himself A New Yacht'. (5.06)

House: You're quitting? Just like you quit IVF?
Cuddy: Yeah, just like that.
House: There, you just did it again. That's too bad. You would have made a great mother.
Cuddy: You son of a bitch. When I was getting a baby you told me I'd suck as a mother. Now that I've lost it, you tell me I'd be great as a mother! Why do you need to negate everything?
House: I don't know. [They kiss] (5.06)

Cuddy: I know this is awkward, but we need to talk.
House: There's a reason that we've evolved a feeling of awkwardness. It tells us not to talk about things.
Cuddy: I was emotional because of the adoption falling through. And you actually let your human side show for a moment. That is why we kissed. I just want to say thank you for not… taking advantage.
House: You're welcome. Any time you want to stop kissing, I'm there for you. (5.07)

House: If you're suggesting that you screwed up because of a non-relationship with me, I don't know how I can help you. 'Cause the only change you can make from a non-relationship is…
Cuddy: You want a relationship?
House: God, no. Just trying to follow your logic. (5.09)

Cuddy: Hey. Yeah, I just had to explain to him that I had his balls and he's not getting them back. (5.10)

House: You're not stopping me for medical reasons. You're stopping me… because you have the hots for me.
Cuddy: You're still here because you have the hots for me. (5.10)

Cuddy: Everybody knows this is going somewhere. I think we're supposed to kiss now.
House: We already did that. [He puts his hand on her breast.] It seemed like the logical next step.
Cuddy: Really? I'm an idiot for being surprised. (5.10)

Cuddy: Take the garbage out on your way out.
House: If you want a man to take your crap, you have to marry him first.
Cuddy: Or employ him. (5.12)

Cuddy: When I was being a jerk, you suddenly act human. But when I act human, you turn back into a jerk.
House: Guess our cycles aren't matched up yet.
Cuddy: This is your way of saying you accept my apology, isn't it? (5.14)

Cuddy: What the hell is going on?
House: I think my penis stopped breathing. Do you know CPR? (5.16)

Cuddy: Yes. I'm offering you your job back. (She sits down).
House: I want a raise.
Cuddy: No.
House: And a bigger office... but in the same spot.
Cuddy: No. We both know this is where you belong. (5.16)

Cuddy: […] Are you okay? [She touches the bruise on House’s cheek.]

House: Fresh infusion of macho. You like?
Cuddy: What were you doing up there, anyway?
House: Antiquing. I found you a late Victorian corset. Come by later, I'll tie you up. (5.19)

House: Did you let me hire a pervert?
Cuddy: Well, it would be hypocritical of me not to. (5.20)

Cuddy: What’s going on with Cameron?
House: She doesn’t want back on my team and she doesn’t want to jump me.
Cuddy: Okay. [She starts to leave.]
House: Wha, wha, wha, what? You ask a question. I rule out two possibilities and you’re satisfied? That means you don’t want an answer. You just wanted to know there wasn’t a particular answer. Either you were worried that she wanted back on my team, or you were worried that she wanted back on me. (5.21)

Cuddy: You want to kiss me, don't you?
House: I always want to kiss you. (5.23)

Cuddy: I’m your boss. You’re an employee.
House: Well, I’m not normally into role-playing, but if you wanna…
Cuddy: People who get close to you get hurt. That’s a fact. You’re also a valued doctor in this hospital. That’s another fact. From now on, we’re gonna focus on the second fact. (5.24)