infinite sadness

So...I have this utterly petrifying fear of public speaking, which makes giving presentations in class very difficult. I have one tomorrow (in a foreign langauge, no less, for ten minutes) and I'm freaking out here. My head is hot and my stomach is in knots and it's absolutely awful.

Any advice? I'm told this is one of the most common phobias, so...help? Mostly I'd just like to talk with some people who can relate, because I know how this will go. I'll be a nauseous wreck for the next 24 hours and then it will be over.


On a lighter note, I think Jerry Seinfeld had a joke about how people's number one fear wasn't death (which is number two) but was actually public speaking, which means " most people would rather be in the coffin than giving the eulogy".

MrsEdwardCullen

I'm the same way. I get so freaked out whenever I'm about to speak in front of people. I'll be sitting in my chair waiting for my turn, about to freaking cry. I just take long deep breaths and tell myself to relax. I just tell myself I have to get it done, and when I'm up there I look over people's heads, I don't look anyone in the eyes because that makes it worse for me and I try to pretend there's no one in the room. Hehe, i'm so glad i'm done with public speeches.

LeytonForEver!

I can advice you to be calm and try to focus on what you have to say...
Don't think about how many people you have to talk to, that would only get the things worst, breath and be confident, you can do that

Good luck and everything will be okay

Lemurian

Instead of focussing on your fear and planning what a wreck you will be (which, to be honest, is what you seem to be doing), set the stage for your success.

Use positive self-talk. While you are alone, tell yourself out loud what a success you will be, how calm you will feel, how easy this task will be to accomplish. Be as kind to yourself as you would be if you were reassuring someone else. Your subconscious is listening and this will make a difference. As you are going to sleep tonight, reaffirm how confident you feel and how sure you are of your topic.

One very important thing is to remember to breathe. The first thing people tend to do when frightened is to hold their breath--this causes an increased stress reacion in the body. Just remembering to breathe can help you to cope.

....And on a lighter note, I used to worry about public speaking, too, and then I had to teach classes. I had a perfectly silly idea: I am near-sighted so I just decided not to wear my glasses because I figured that if I couldn't see anybody then it wouldn't matter who I was talking to. I laughed at myself because I knew this was silly and laughing helped to keep me calm. Anyway, this worked (both the laughter and not wearing my glasses). And after a very short time, it didn't matter if I wore my glasses because I began to feel comfortable doing public speaking. So if you don't have to wear glasses or contacts, you could just look over the top of people's heads.

Good luck.

MrsEdwardCullen

AH the no wearing glasses trick, I totally did that too. LOL, yeah it really does work like a charm when everyone looks blury. LOL.

infinite sadness

I always tell myself that I'm making it worse by thinking about it too much and that it doesn't really matter, but it doesn't ever make the sick feeling go away. I always get nervous, sometimes it's worse than others... I think this time is particularly nerve-racking, I think, because it's in German and while I would be competant enough to speak about my topic in English, my German vocabulary is much more limited. So I'm having a hard time reassuring myself that I'm sure of my topic when I know that I am not very capable of discussing it in German. And I keep thinking of what happened last time I gave a presenation in German-- I couldn't even understand the notes in front of me. I know it isn't good to focus on this stuff but it's so hard for me to focus on anything else right now.

I'd try the glasses thing but my vision isn't so bad that it would make much of a difference.


In any case, I'll be positive-self-talking myself through the next 20 hours. It's never as bad as I imagine it's going to be and I keep telling myself that too. It's the feeling in my stomach that really bothers me about all of this.

Lain

I'd tell you the age old "imagining people naked/in their underwear" but that would just make you awkward, no?

I understand how you fee, since I have the same problem. However, taking theater classes the past two years helped eased it slightly (I still do get nervous when I speak in front of a huge audience).

I think the only advice I can give you is to practice in front of your friends and/or family. Or if you want to make it a little easier, practice in front of stuffed animals if you have any.

Also, have a drink of water before going up to speak. But not so much that you'll be feeling the need to go a lot sooner than you think.

tender looks

I can totally relate to this. I used to feel sick and close to tears whenever I had to do a speech in English class. I remember one time I was freaking out so bad that my teacher took me and a few others who were the same out of the room and had us do our speeches in front of each other, rather than the whole class, which helped a lot. Sadly none of my other teachers were quite so understanding.

One of the main things I used to do was just look over people's heads at a spot on the wall, only looking away from it to check my notes. It meant I got marked down on eye contact, but I just lived with that, I never expected a fantastic grade for my speeches anyway. Another tip I have is to think of a comforting face that relaxes you (a friend/family member/famous person - it's up to you) and focus on that face in your mind, pretend you're giving the speech to them rather than to all the people in your class.

I'm sure you'll be just fine, good luck.

Trasdockan

What's the worst thing that could happened?

I did this speech in Swedish class. I was sick, had a fever and was totally unprepared. I begged my teacher that I could do it next week, but he doesn't like me so he said no.
So I stood there, and I just started babbling, I hadn't decided what to say, just what subject I was should talk about, so after I while I couldn't come up with anything more to say. I went silent and then, (I was talking about a TV-show ) I started to talk about these fictional character's sex life.
Anyway, I sucked and my teacher told me I would have to do it again.

But nothing happened. I didn't die, the world didn't end, nobody even laughed at me.
I hope I didn't scare you with my story, I just wanted to say that even if it doesn't go well, nothing is going to happen.

Just make sure you''re prepared and know what you're going to say.
Good luck, I'm sure you will do better than me, but if you don't remember it's not the end of the world.

Yellow Mustang Girl

I think you've been given some great advice here I hope you do well

infinite sadness

Well, I made it. I went to my program director (for the exchange program) before and ran through it with her and I think that helped a lot. I still stammered my way through it, and was so weak in the knees I'm surprised I didn't collapse, but afterwards when the instructor went over my mistakes, etc. he specifically commented that I did a very good job of speaking freely and not reading from my notes the whole time. Otherwise I made the same problems I always have with speeches: I need to be louder and more animate.

And I made the same mistakes I always make in German, which, in case anyone else here studies/knows Deutsch and is curious, were: not moving the verb to the end of the sentence when necessary, using the preposition 'in' before a year (ie, "in 1927"), using 'war' instead of 'wurde'.


Anyway, thanks for the advice. It helped. I had a nice hot tea before my presentation and I looked over the tops of peoples' heads. I was anxious all the way through, but it got better and better as it went on. It always does. I don't know why I can't just get over this phobia.

Trasdockan

I'm glad to hear it went well. You should be proud of yourself.

Uh Blah

I have the same issue. Thankfully I don't every have to give speeches for school any more, but one of my dream jobs has always been working in radio so it's always been a fear that I wish I overcame. I know that for me, taking a deep breath is very important.

Yeah gotta love the Sein!

Lemurian

I'm glad that you had success. You've already proven that you can get over your fear because you were able to do your presentation.

Mordacity

As far as speaking in a foreign language goes, you just have to remember that everyone feels the same way you do. I am taking an Arabic class, and it was absolutely horrific to think about standing up and talking to people in Arabic, or even to just try making some of the letters' noises in class because I have a fear of public speaking and I don't like making a fool of myself. But my teacher reminded me that we are all learning, and that mistakes are part of the process, and my whole class is really focused on just having a good time and learning the language. We giggle at mistakes but then correct ourselves and move on. Even if your in a presentation, mistakes are expected, correcting yourself proves you know what you are doing in that situation, even if your instincts are off.