Are the rules something that you both have talked over and agreed on? There might be a bit of resentment on his part if not :shrug:

Yes...one today was I said they couldn't have dessert because they slug their plates on the floor and got ketchup everywhere and the other was cleaning up their toys at bedtime.

I tell them no to the first and he tries to give them something. He doesn't like when they beg him for it....
And then he just cleans up for them, but they need to learn and do it themselves and when he isn't around they clean up and don't bug me for dessert.

Oh gotcha ya... I know it's not a laughing matter, but my first thought reading that was no desert for him either if he won't follow the rules, ...lead by example kind of thing :goof: but it actually kind of makes sense... Maybe not exactly that...but you know.

Kids are smart they get the whole divide and conquer thing pretty early on. If he's afraid of being seen as mean, the alternative is much worse kids who won't listen to him at all later on... Has he given you an exact reason why he's soft beside not liking yhe begging? like maybe he was brought up very strict?

I am not a parent but I'm a teacher and have taught kids up to the age of 11.


Have you and your husband discussed what rules you can agree on? Maybe he has a different idea to what is acceptable at home, but until you both come to an agreement, it will make life very unfortunate for you, not forgetting the fact that it will be inconsistent.

I find some people (even young students) just don't know how to discipline or they think the kids will hate them if they do. Its all about balance and I hope you show your husband that :nod:

He grew up in a very strict household...but now here it is I have to do all the work including picking up the house or I am lazy and a b&%$%. He complains it is messy, I ask them to clean and he decides to read books with them. He wants to always be fun. When they are bad he calls me to punish them. But I honestly don't know what to do.

I feel like he expects me to do EVERYTHING by myself. It is bad enough that I can't even leave without at least taking one kid.

At what point is it on one parent to do everything or even to not back up the other?

okay I can understand where he is coming from now, I grew up in a strict military family, everything always done in a very specific way... and as soon I was out on my own,out came the rebellious nature of leaving a dish in the sink,clothes on the floor, brush on the counter..etc... but you eventually realize you can't keep doing that and go back... when my nieces came along it was the same for my sister, she vowed shed be more lax and not put so much what we saw as pressure on her kids.... that didn't last long, she had a first class brat on her hands...

is it possible to get a babysitter for an evening or afternoon and get away from the house to have a very open heart to heart with your husband to let him know in a non confrontational way that he's hurting you by not backing/helping you? Sometimes men dont realize how much pressure is on their other half and need a gentle reality check.

or maybe go on strike, take a day just for you,leave him with the kids, grab a girlfriend and let him deal with the house and kids for while with no back up...

:shrug: I dont think there is an easy snap of the fingers fix. :no: but don't give up :hug:

Thanks.

My oldest blames her stuffed animals for messes or has them throw toys around the house. I don't get mad that the house is messy, but I tell her that I don't appreciate her lying about things. She doesn't seem to get it.

When she knows she has done something wrong she will lie and when I tell her she isn't in trouble for telling the truth she will tell me, and I make sure to thank her for being honest but that we can't do whatever action has happened.

But blaming her animals or using them to do bad things I need to figure out how to get past this, any ideas?

Oh wow, sometimes I could really do with this thread :lol:

:lol: kids aren't easy

Nope! Lots of testing boundaries and not wanting to sleep at the moment :thud:

It gets better :nod: hang in there :hug:

Aww, just keep calm and have a breather when things get rough. Have some time out :hug:

I'm currently buying stuff for my brother and sister in law's first baby. To parents out there, what sort of essential stuff is needed that would really help during the first few months?

Diapers!!!

Things that aren't obvious.