It's interesting that the preference was for the female to be the Introvert. Usually in our culture it's more common for the women to be Extrovert and bubbly and social and the men to be quite reserved Introverts. It's interesting that you change the stereotype.

I think that with the years the other functions get developed too so they sort of bring balance. Actually I am more Extrovert now than when I was a child because my second function gets really developed. I still get drained but I can fake Extroversion. I was unable to do so when I was a kid. Granted I do it because I have a purpose, but still now most people think that I am Extrovert because of the way I act at work. No one can grasp how drained I get because it's quite internal.

This is my first job and I have always been calculating. At the age of 5 I had a picture in my head how I would be as a grown up woman. I knew that it does not make sense to invest time and efforts to socialize in school or college so I did not. I do it at work because I have a plan.

I am aware of my energy levels and I always do stuff in a way to preserve my energy. I need to plan my social interactions really in advance to ensure that I won't end up exhausted. I always have Plan A, B and C for everything. People usually say "Do not make plans because you will be disappointed when they don't happen". That does not happen for me. My plans always materialize because I shape my reality in a way to fit into my plans. Sooner or later (I am very patient person) I get what I want and how I wanted it.

Think about it. Just October last year I told M to wait and hold a bit. I promised him that he would work 100 % on my product, that I would isolate him from our now ex boss and that he will have the chance to choose who he wants to work with. And fast forward to now just 5 months later. I gave him all that. He will work 100 % on my product, he would not work with our ex boss and he got the chance to choose who he will be in our team so the people he will work with. I told him that I would protect him from the jerk and I did that as well. Even M did not believe that I can do all of that in that short period of time. It's no wonder that he does things for me that he would never do for our ex boss. He knows that if he wants something from me I would work to make it happen. It might take me a few months but I end up doing it. Our ex boss is just empty words. He never did 5 % for M of what I did just for 5 months.

I always know what I am doing and I always have a plan that is not just few weeks away, it's years away. I now plan what would be my next step while working on proving myself in this new role for me. I dream big and I am not afraid to do so. I am patient and I am wiling to wait years to do stuff, but I do succeed and usually people do not see it coming.

I wonder if it’s culture differences or just a certain pattern within my family. But most definitely the women are way more introverted. Women are very strong too, calling the shots, lol.

Interesting. I can fake it too but I was way more extroverted as a child/teen. Some of it was due to sports. Some of it due to just being a teen and social life mattered more even if I was still introverted. As an adult I’m a million times more introverted.

You are the definition of an old Soul. There’s no other way to explain this. To be 5 years old and have that much understanding? Incredible.

Putting in tags since it’s big:



Rowling as an INFJ... if she did not admit she is an INFJ more than once on Twitter... all you have to do is read the quote and know she is, lol.

Can't say. As far as I read women are typically Extrovert in your country as well. It's the stereotype. Usually they expect the woman to be the one being warm and welcoming and just sociable.

Most probably sports helped. For me it was the other way around. I was the hugely Introvert kid. I had a purpose and social life was not important for me. It came to a point where my parents would basically beg me to go out and not study all the time :lol: . My father would constantly asking me if I was not tired and make me get rest and I was like "Nah, I want to finish this".

Now I do not have social life either. I communicate at work because I either need to train someone or to communicate to someone on what's going on. But this is not social interaction, this is work. Whenever I can, I put on my headphones and pretend that no one is in the office :D.

Outside of work I still do not interact with people nor I go to places. I chat with my best friend and we meet from time to time, but that's it. I spend most of my weekends alone.

So I guess I look more Extrovert at work because of the way I conduct myself, but deep down I am very strong Introvert. Quite frankly people see me playing a role at work. Most of them have not seen the real me and would never see it. I look sociable and warm and nice and I am not any of that :D. It's a bit sad that no one actually knows the real me. To some extent my mother knows me, but even she does not see my internal process fully. Even my best friend does not know how I process information and what I am inside. I guess this is the price you pay when you are Introvert. I do not open up to people because I know that most of them cannot handle me anyway.

Another reason why I never interacted with people my age as a kid. They were boring and we had nothing in common. The other kids were all about playing. I was all about being grown up, adult living alone and making enough money to be independent and to make my own decisions.

All adults are now like "I wish I can be a kid again". I don't. I love my adult life where I can live alone, be independent, make my own decisions and basically carve my own destiny. I have always lived for this freedom. I do not miss my childhood to be honest. I do not even remember most of it.

In my country so many women are strong as hell, lol. We don't really have rules at all in this way. In fact, I'd say way more women wear the pants in this country than probably most others. It's why we have such strict rules in the workplace that protect women, etc. I think more women are like my sister than not for sure... there's an equal partnership (and if anything, women are the stronger partner), the guy doesn't rule in the least and gender stereotypes are not in play. Kris and Scot have people over, Scot is more in the "woman" role than my sister. This stereotype took place decades ago, not so much anymore.

Makes sense. I wonder what would happen if you ever got to be close friends with another INTJ. Maybe you two would help each other open up a little more because there's an understanding. Or maybe not, it's possible all the more you both would remain distant.

You are definitely in that rare category.

One does not exclude either. Just because a woman is Extrovert does not mean that she is not strong. On the opposite. Introverted women are not that assertive usually. What I am saying that most cultures see the woman as being the Extrovert and the chatty one and the man being more emotional restrained. Not that there are not any men that are emotionally open or that there are not any women that are not.

Nah. NT in general do not open up. Especially two INTJs. They would just accept each other as closed off and continue.

I know. What I'm saying is we don't have that going on in my country. We don't have "Gender roles" in the least. My mom and dad were the same way. My Grandparents, same thing. Friends, family, etc. I've never been around such a thing in this country and I believe it's because of how women are treated here. Equal. We don't have "roles" anymore. Every man I've been around is chatty and not the typical goes to work, comes home, hardly says a word, sort of thing. It sounds very traditional to me and not something this country as a rule is about. Not the vast majority.

Got it.

I was not talking about roles. I am talking about how society expect women to behave as far personality goes. Trust me those stereotypes exist. They are seen in every TV movie or series I have watched. They expect the women to behave in a way where I, you or your sister or your nieces do not behave. But overall as a rule people do expect this of women. It's a proven fact that society sees Extroverts as the norm, Introverts as the weird ones. It's also a proven fact that society accepts Introvert men more than Introvert women.

Society accepts people based on majority of types. As women are mostly SF types, society sees this as a normal woman personality traits. Yes we are exceptions, but this does not mean that stereotypes do not exist.

Do you think that most people would miss their childhood? I used to think that it's normal but more and more I hear people saying how they miss being children and I am like I don't :D.

I know what you mean. I've just never seen it here. It could be based on where you live in this country because once again Hollywood and other entertainment industries like to believe that the United States is not a melting pot of cultures (which is completely untrue) and let's just lump one way or the highway. I can guarantee on the east cost alone this is not the case. East Coast women will laugh at this. It's not the norm there and many other parts of this country. Some parts? Sure, maybe, but going by TV and expecting everything to fit in a box concerning this country is not accurate. My biggest pet peeve is that people lump this country as one when it comes to behavior. We live way different lives in this country depending on where you live even though Hollywood and other entertainment industries want you to believe otherwise. :shrug:

This is true across the board. Well, for sure the differences between extroverts and introverts. :nod:

However, here's an example of the gender not being in play... my friend Jill who is a doctor hung out with friends and even met her husband in medical school. They hung out with a group of friends. Two guys in particular were quiet and always had their heads in books. They'd go out and the two guys who were quiet and shy were the ones that would get looks and comments that they were "Geeky" and "scared of their own shadow." They were absolutely the ones that were singled out as weird, the guys, because they were shy and introverted. They were known as the shy geeks without a personality.

Well, I think it depends on if the childhood was fulfilling. But overall, if you had a good childhood, I think many miss it or aspects of childhood. I know I do. I loved playing sports, I loved the sense of security and love I had with my parents and sister, other family... you didn't have to deal with adult problems and drama... I just had fun playing sports and spending time with family. I do miss that a lot.

But this is not about TV. This is about majority of people. Like I said it's a proven fact that most women are SF everywhere in the world no matter the country or the region. Expectations are not based on the TV. They are based on the majority of people. Society is tuned into expecting certain things just because they have seen them the most. It's how people think.

This is part of the personality theory. I agree with you that we should not base everything on TV because well they do not show everything. If you believe American TV you would think that all American women are blondes.

We will have to agree to disagree. What I am saying here rings true for every NT woman out there though. NT women do not meet the expectations and as a result they quite often get treated as one of the guys because well they have more in common with men around them than women :lmao: . Can they find men that will appreciate them? They can, but it's the minority. For most men NT women will be insensitive cold bitches. It is what it is.

And still it's a lot more often to see women to find those quiet shy guys mysterious while men would find two quiet women antisocial witches. This is how our society works.

Btw there is a theory that says that nerds and geeks are the least to miss their childhood. They are outcasted as different and weird in school so they quite often do not enjoy it. Once they become adults and they find these good jobs they get to enjoy life. Maybe there is some truth to this.

True :nod: . You are right. People that enjoyed their childhood usually miss it. I can't say that my childhood was bad. I was just not interested in being a kid. I wanted the responsibility because I wanted the freedom of being an adult :D.

That’s probably true. I’ve just never heard men outspoken about this sort of thing because most American women would tell them to shut the hell up.

Oh okay. When I heard you say you read or on TV I assumed this played a part.

I’m just glad I don’t deal with this sort of thing, lol. Family, friends in three huge states... I’m not around this or have ever witnessed it... which could be why I find it hard to believe as a majority sort of thing.

They would never tell them in their face :nod: . They would just never talk to them :lmao: .

Rare breed is you. :D

I still think it's funny how some people thought Rowling was an INFP:



https://qph.fs.quoracdn.net/main-qim...180d9ccdc.webp


I had some slight confusion over INFJ and INFP but that's because I was trying to explain away a tests result that was happening due to not filling it out properly... :embarrassment: *dumb me*

But it's plain as day JK Rowling is an INFJ. I think people believe the Harry Potter Series is very INFP and while many aspects are on the surface... the deeper meaning is way more INFJ... there's endless Spiritual components. She writes her INFJ characters to perfection too (Dumbledore and Lupin) because she IS them. She's said more than once she is them. Luna Lovegood (love her) is a classic INFP character.

But yes, I know the reason why I am so obsessed with Harry Potter is because I'm drawn to Rowling's personality type (we are the same!) and the World (the way it works) in general is so INFJ with sprinkles of every personalty type within all her characters. :love:

Why do you think people think that Rowling is INFP. What do you think makes them believe this?