Dawson's Creek - Anti-DJ Thread #43: "You're not my type, Dawson. You never were." - Joey

Ali · 10-31-2008, 08:27 AM

Welcome to the 43rd Anti-Dawson and Joey Thread

The Agony of Pacey and Joey

There once was a boy named Dawson
who thought his film making skills were awesome
But cliched were his stories,
so little were his glories.

His head was as big as a cantaloupe melon
so big in fact, but no one would tell him
Instead, they all told him he was a hero
when truly he was just a big-headed zero.

Joey was the girl across the Creek
who silently pined away for this geek.
And when they finally kissed,
all passion was missed!

Dawson didn't give a fart
about Joey's knack for the arts,
So she did the right thing
and with Jack, had a fling!

But Jack wasn't playing on the right team
and things with him were not as they seemed...
So Joey got weak and went back to the Head--
back to watching ET on the Head's bed

Throughout all this was another named Pacey,
who was witty and sassy and quite a bit racy.
First with Tamara, and then Andie McPhee--
when she slept with another, he was right to flee!

Pacey and Joey were between love and hate
friends for life, but never dared date.
Dawson convinced Joey she was his soul mate,
(though she never had much chance to really debate).

And then Joey dumped Dawson again
for sending her Daddy back to the Pen!
Dawson came back to Capeside with Eve,
a bleach-blonde ho who never wore sleeves

Dawson told Pacey to look after Joey,
who started to fall for her very slowly.
Both brokenhearted, they developed a bond
and oh so strangely, hearts grew fond

Banter still rolled, though the love was in it
and had us hooked for every minute
And when Joey finally kissed the right guy
the butterflies and sparks FINALLY did fly

He made her feel alive!

When Dawson found out, he threw a fit
and all he deserved was to get hit--
by a 4x4, or a baseball bat,
to finally pound that Big Head flat!

Dawson gave ultimatums, but Pacey would wait
(the better man through this whole charade!)
Dawson couldn't measure up to a single thing
when Pacey whispered "I remember everything."

So Pacey and Joey are now on a boat
on the Atlantic, and hopefully afloat!
And Dawson can no longer gloat
for on him, Joey will NEVER again dote!

VS.

Need we say more?

Reasons We Hate the Hell Mates

1.) They are way too co-dependent.
2.) They held each other back.
3.) They use each other as security blankets.
4.) They are always 15 and having the same argument over and over and over.
5.) They can never be together for longer than 2 months without breaking up.
6.) They always have massive arguments, but never resolve anything.
7.) They didn't want each other, they just didn't want to lose the other.
8.) Dawson almost killed Pacey to win her love.
9.) Their sex the first time was so bad, that they almost killed each other and never repeated their mistake.
10.) Their chemistry had no fizzle, like a flat soda.

What We've Learned from Dawson and Joey

100. If you have sex with your "soul mate" you hair gets ruined for a year.
99. Only your soulmate would be way more passionate about making movies than about you.
98. Only your soulmate would be relieved that someone else is taking care of you and it's not her.
97. At any given opportunity, your soul mate will decline spending large amounts of time with you.
96. After breaking up with your soupmate, you are no longer allowed to have any other relationships, unless you decided to come back to said soupmate.
95. "Went out for breakfast" really means "I'm in a full-fledged relationship with another woman and I'm gonna go break up with her on her answering machine."
94. Only your soulmate would choose to take dance lessons with your best friend over you.
93. Only your soulmate would blame you for his father's death in an accident.
92. Don't EVER throw a surprise birthday party of your said soulmate... it will only turn out to be a disaster.
91. If your soulmate tries to kill someone so they can win a boat race... RUN.
90. Only your soulmate would consider that you're not a hero.
89. Don't turn in your soul mates' father to the police.
88. Only your soulmate wouldn't know that the reason you look different is because you lost your virginity to your boyfriend.
87. Only your soulmate would say that as long as he lives, he will never understand you.
86. Only your soulmate would see you crying on the dock and run in the opposite direction to the man of her dreams.
85. Just because you have known someone your whole life doesn't mean you know them as a person.
84. Soulmates don't want eachother, but nobody else can have them either.
83. Only your soulmate would be this oblivious about your feelings.
82. Only your soulmate would say he can't be himself when he's around you.
81. If your boyfriend says "the night is young", walk away.
80. Only your soulmate would say you're not the hero of the story.
79. Never make a pact to go to a prom with your guy friend when you are only a freshman in high school.
78. When your soulmate says you are meant to be and she looks upset, that should be a sign.
77. Don't read your soulmate's diary... or anyone's for that matter.
76. When your soulmate says she needs your friendship, which is completely different from how she needs you're best friend, maybe you should catch a clue.
75. Don't blame your soulmate for your father's death.
74. You will only have a one night stand with your supposed "soulmate".
73. Everybody but your soulmate will know when you're falling madly in love with someone.
72. Only your soulmate would tell her ex, who's your ex-best friend, that it wasn't her choice that she didn't ask you to stay for her.
71. Only your soulmate would choose your best friend over you... TWICE!
70. Don't follow your heart because there will be consequences... like your soulmate giving you ultimatums.
69. Just because you got your dream, doesn't mean you have everything else.
68. Only your soulmate would tell your best friend that your the past and he's her future.
67. Only your soulmate would forget you exist to go after another girl.
66. Only your soulmate would find you beautiful with makeup and a dress on.
65. Only your soulmate would be in denial about you waiting for him.
64. Note To Self: The only way of ever marrying your soulmate, is in your dreams.
63. Don't ruin a half-decent friendship by kissing said friend.
62. Only your soulmate will act like you betrayed him when you weren't even together.
61. A soulmate doesn't always mean the love of your life.
60. Only your soulmate would lose her virginity to your best friend.
59. Being someone's soulmate doesn't necessarily imply romantic connections.
58. Only your soulmate would say you don't inspire her to run a way with you.
57. Only your soulmate would lose complete touch with you while acquiring their own dream and not even realize that you got back together with said best friend.
56. Thinking about spending the summer with your soulmate would make you this happy.
55. Only your soul mate would get a BJ from a stripper wannabe.
54. Only your soulmate would say he can't be himself around you.
53. Only your soulmate would compare your lives to TV or movies and try to rationalize everything based on those outcomes.
52. Only your presumed soulmate would have to beg you to go to the prom with him, promising it was just in friendship, then bribe you with diamond earings that he "borrowed from his mom" to finally leave you standing in the street alone because you were dancing with his best friend.
51. Only your soulmate would ignore your e-mails over 5 years.
50. Don't try to be like the guy your "soulmate" is in love with... You'll end up looking like an even bigger ass.
49. Only your soulmate wouldn't be able to promise you that you are making the right decision by staying because of her.
48. Only your soupmate would fail to mention to you that she changed her mind and will actually attend your mother's wedding.
47. Only your soulmate would call you on the phone from her trip with your best friend feeling scared and unsure of her feelings, and when she gets done talking to you.... She finally shows a little... "Spine" by moving on and choosing who is truly in her heart.... and will run as fast as she can to "Real soulmate" and collapse's into his arms and "BED".
46. Only your soupmate would guilt you in going to a dance when you've just broken up with the love of your life.
45. Only your soupmate would lose all contact with you for five years.
44. Only your soupmate would be so blind to see that you've actually fallen for someone else.
43. Only your soupmate would think he makes you nervous, not taking into account that you were just dancing with your HOTT True Love.
42. Only your soulmate wouldn't notice the longing looks between you and his best friend.
41. Only your soupmate would dump you after two months of dating under the lame excuse that she wants to find herself.
40. Only your soupmate would force you to wear his mothers diamond earrings.
39. Only your soupmate would make you forget that he broke up with you and then try to blame you for moving on.
38. Only your soupmate would start taking your clothes off and say "the night is young", and think its romantic.
37. Only your soulmate would write a letter to manipulate you.
36. Only your soulmate would be a lousy driving instructor and yell at you while you're learning.
35. Only your soulmate would make you turn in your own father.
34. Only your soupmate would cry over the fact of having to spend the summer with you.
33. Only your soulmate wouldn't understand why you two weren't together anymore.
32. Soupmates dont have sex they do a "hole in a sheet act".
31. Soupmates make you feel suffocated.
30. Choosing morals over the people you supposedly love never ends well.
29. When stating your 'soulmate' is like your sister, and being with her would be a little incestuous... don't change your mind after you spot her wearing 10 pounds of makeup and declare her yours for the rest of time.
28. When your soulmate says she's relieved that someone else is taking care of you, that should tell you something.
(Let's continue!...)

Avatars to Spread the Dislike

credit: sunnyringo

credit: spazzyicons

credit: Julie

credit: Manda8706

credit: tubbycass @ LJ

credit: innersmile-x

Anti-DJ Videos

YouTube - Born To Lose vs Sexy Thing
YouTube - Anti D/J -- Why Aren't They Together?
YouTube - Anti D/J -- My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend
YouTube - The Triangle, Joey's POV - "I Belong to ME!"

Songs That Remind Us of Dawson & Joey

I Want to Break Free – Queen
Jealous - Sinead O'Connor
The One - Foo Fighters
Big Girls Don’t Cry - Fergie
You're So Vain - Carly Simon
I'm not Your Type - Late Tuesday
My Nice-Friend Face – Late Tuesday
The One - Vanessa Carlton
Happy Without You - Annie
Listen - Beyoncé
It's Not - Aimee Mann
By Linkin Park:
One Step Closer
A Place for My Head
Pushing Me Away
Don't Stay

Future Thread Titles

Joey Hasn't Felt Anything for Dawson Since Season 2
Dawson Was Joey's Past Tense
Dawson & Joey = Past Tense
Joey Used Dawson in the Past Tense
Dawson? Only in the Past Tense
Because If That's a Soulmate, We Don't Want to Have One
Because Roommates Doesn't Equal Soulmates
Because 15 years of PG Movies Don't Make Soulmates
Every Attraction They Felt For Each Other was Just Fear of Growing Up
Because Dawson's One True Love is Dawson
Because They Both Ended Up With Their True Loves, Not Each Other
Because trying to kill someone is not considered a romantic gesture
Because he saw how much she loved Pacey. He saw it in her face.
Because their romance cheapened their friendship
If date night is "E.T."... Then that's their foreplay

Ali · 10-31-2008, 08:33 AM

New thread, new round! #19 is out!

Remember, vote for your least favorite.

Dawson & Joey Fight Survivor

1. 1x01 - Pilot

Joey is upset about being ignored because Dawson is consumed by his infatuation with Jen.

2. 1x04 - Discovery

Dawson is furious with Joey when he finds out that she knew about his mother's affair and didn't tell him.

3. 1x12 - Beauty Contest

In the same episode that Dawson says he thinks of Joey "like a sister" he wants to be with her when he sees her in full makeup
and a dress. The superficiality of Dawson's sudden change of heart is not lost on Joey.

4. 2x02 - Crossroads

Dawson reads Joey's journal and blames her because, according to Dawson, she left it out for him to see.

5. 2x04 - Tamara's Return

Joey takes a real interest in art. Dawson has a laugh about it and doesn't take her new passion seriously.

6. 2x04 - Tamara's Return

"That's the point, Dawson. Nothing's changed. I mean you, me... we're exactly the way we've always been and I'm so
tired of it!"

7. 2x06 - The Dance

"There's no justifiable reason why the girl who spent the last 15 years of her life pretending I was the only thing she
wanted ended up kissing some other guy and lying about it."

8. 2x06 - The Dance

One of about four billion break ups.

9. 2x07 - The All-Nighter

Joey practically begs Dawson to leave her alone because she only wants to be friends but he has obsession to be more
than that. Moments later he screams in a 10-year-olds' face and makes her cry.

10. 2x11 - Sex, She Wrote

In a pathetic display, both Dawson and Joey lie about having slept with other people. Yet another example of their mature
and exemplary relationship.

11. 2x13 - His Leading Lady

Dawson's "self-obsessed movie" is forcing Joey relive their relationship and that's not something she wants to do.
Us neither.

12. 2x14 - To Be Or Not To Be

"Why don't we just say what this conversation is really about? Your passive-agressive way of highlighting some flaw
in jack that would get us to break up."

13. 2x16 - Be Careful What You Wish For

"We're soulmates. Joey, you and I are meant to be. Period. The end. Cue happy ending music."
"No!"

14. 2x16 - Be Careful What You Wish For

Joey shoves a drunk Dawson into his birthday cake after he tries to kiss her.

15. 2x22 - Parental Discretion Advised

Dawson tries to convince Joey that turning in her father is the only option and Joey's not having it.

16. 2x22 - Parental Discretion Advised

The scene speaks for itself: "What I have to say you're not gonna like, so I'll say it quickly. I hope one day that I will be
able to forgive my father for all of this. And I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive myself. But I know that I will
never forgive you. See Dawson, there are certain circumstances that love cannot overcome and from now on,
I don't wanna know you."

17. 3x01 - Like A Virgin

Joey gets turned down by Dawson. "Go to hell."

18. 3x03 - None of the Above

Dawson accuses Pacey of stealing the test so a fight ensues. Joey comes to Pacey's aid and tells Dawson, "This has got to stop!"

19. 3x07 - Escape From Witch Island

Dawson and Joey know nothing about each others' lives these days and Joey is no longer "feeling that connection"
between them.

Eliminated in round 1.

20. 3x14 - Valentine's Day Massacre

Dawson grows impatient and can't teach Joey how to drive. Funny, Pacey had no trouble doing so later in the episode.

21. 3x20 - The Longest Day

"The way that I feel about him [Pacey] is completely separate from the way that I feel about you and our friendship."
In a very Dawson-like fashion, he gives Joey an ultimatum: Himself or Pacey.

22. 3x22 - The Anti-Prom

Dawson convinced Joey to go to the prom with him under the pretense that he wanted to go as friends. And his cover is
blown when he looses it seeing Joey dancing with Pacey... so obviously in love.

23. 3x23 - True Love

"Don't make me feel like this. Like you're stuck with me." Joey was clearly, as Dawson said, there in body but not in spirit.
She was with Pacey.

24. 5x02 - The Lost Weekend

"We have to move on. We have to go our separate ways." Amen.

25. 6x02 - The Song Remains The Same

Dawson forgets to mention that he has a girfriend before he sleeps with Joey for the first and only time. "Joey you and I both
know if either one of us had stopped and thought for even a second last night, then what we did never would've happened."
^Does that statement not show how totally and completely wrong they are together?!

cupcake_86 · 10-31-2008, 09:10 AM

I go for #20 this time. I can not remember that it was a huge fight and looking at the screencaps, I see no angry looks. Just irritating looks.

btw. I love the title! EAT THAT DAWSON! but did Joey really say that?

Italy74 · 10-31-2008, 09:45 AM

#20,too
This time the survivor is not heartbreaking

Wingster · 10-31-2008, 10:00 AM

20...hardly a fight

Titch22 · 10-31-2008, 10:06 AM

Definetly #20

Ali · 10-31-2008, 11:22 AM

#20 for me too. It's the least violent lmfao. But I love how bored Joey looks.

#20 - 5 votes

Landslide much? Already a new round?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by cupcake_86 (View Post)

btw. I love the title! EAT THAT DAWSON! but did Joey really say that?

Yeah, she says it in Dawson's dream. I love his subconscious mind.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Italy74 (View Post)

This time the survivor is not heartbreaking

Haaa, so true.

cupcake_86 · 10-31-2008, 11:28 AM

Yup, let's go for round 3

Ali · 10-31-2008, 11:35 AM

Yeah, I don't think 6 other peple will come in here and all vote for a different one lol.

#20 is out.

Remember, vote for your least favorite.