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Exactly!
This is what I meant when I said it was "easy" for her to say she would have done it when it was already very clear that she has no actual chance of doing it (turning them in). But I do think the original plan was always to fight together with the others against Kivar.
Sometimes I think about what may have happened on Antar... Whatever it was, it must have been deeply traumatizing because... Well, back at Earth Tess kills those scientists... and she seems... well, she is certainly not happy about it, I think it hurts her a lot deep down what she had to "become", but that whole "I didn't stop to count" attitude? That's the attitude of someone who had to survive a lot of **** in the past year.
Just compare that to how horrified she was when she first learned from Max (I think?) that Nasedo did kill humans in the past.
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She was genuinely shocked about the revelation of Nasedo so even Nasedo protected her from his killing. She honestly didn’t know about what Nasedo did. She did see herself as very different then humans, unlike the other three, but she wasn’t a cold blooded killer. Alex was an accident. Not premeditated.
The chilling conversation about what happened with the scientists is telling that Tess had survived something horrific on Antar and I believe at that point she didn’t have much faith in Humans or Antarians. I’ve been thinking of what the story is behind her leaving and returning to earth. Seems like a big risk to take her baby across galaxies and return to a planet and people that you didn’t exactly leave on good terms.
In the end she trusted Max with Zan. She never wanted Max dead.....she loved him, it had to sting when Max responds with how could I ever love you? Max and Tess is the tragic love story.