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I'm going to chime in with a bit of a differing opinion here but ... I think Grace is in the right.
Disclaimer: I'm really enjoying the show but I don't have the time or inclination for rewatches so everything is as I remember it ... please correct me if anything I say is wrong.
Ben has been hiding so much from her.
He didn't tell her about the calling until Cal was hospitalized and they had to make a life or death decision about his treatment. The motive for getting his job was a lie, where he's been going and what he's been doing almost daily is a lie. In Grace's defense, she mourned him and suffered through a terrible bout of depression. She built a new life and then she gave up that life and was really trying but Ben was keeping so many things from her.
Don't get me wrong ... I get WHY Ben is hiding it. She has shut down his discussions about the calling and some of his theories regarding Cal but every time they talk about it he has only told her when he had no other way to explain his actions. Basically, it was the wrong time. In the Pilot I was interested why they had Ben be the one to advise Michaela to stay quiet and he was the one who resisted helping others and drawing attention ... that's who he was ... now he HAS changed and he's not explaining any of this to his wife. I think he's actually becoming a better person but from her perspective he's just lying. Ben is also staying quiet because he's a little concerned about the whole "people that are told about the calling die" thing but Michaela is actually telling Jared about her concerns so I think Ben choosing to keep that secret is just a character flaw ...
I cannot even imagine planning a surprise BBQ and then not only does he vanish and stop answering calls but some authorities show up saying he was fired yesterday and they need to collect his ID card? I would be LIVID if my husband kept something like that from me and then I find out that he let my son who I have been mourning be in a life or death situation.
Obviously the Danny stuff is in the back of our minds and I'm sure we haven't seen the full story there ... but I think the show was smart to not include him in the last couple episodes. To really try and separate that storyline from Grace's trajectory with her marriage. I'm glad they did that. Still think there's more story there but I'm not trusting Danny so I hope she doesn't pick up where she left off with him.
Anyway, I see what you guys are saying but I also sympathize with Grace and think that she's justified in the way she feels.
The person who is having both parents not even consider her at the moment is Olive. Her overhearing them not even discuss her in their fight was heartbreaking.
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