Fan Forum - View Single Post - County High Cafeteria #110 (General OT): We are still sick, it's already snowed, so we don't care about a title

**jediwands** · 11-04-2017, 01:36 PM

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Originally Posted by secretk (View Post)

No. It's sold here. I have not had time to mix something on my own.

Work okay?

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In my opinion he likes to be in the center of the attention. He hates when someone else is more interesting than him. He started having issues with me 4-5 years ago. It's a long story but basically they were in a phase where they wanted all people of the team to go to lunch together with the HR and they would question everyone that did not go with them. At that point of time there was a co-worker that could not stand the HR because they were kind of competing for the boss then. It's a long love story drama involving triangle.

On the other hand I was in the phase where I had started accepting my Introvert side, I was getting sure of myself and did not want people to tell me what I can or can't do. There was some email discussion involving the whole team back then - like 25 people. I might have sent email explaining pretty well that I do not plan to give anyone explanation when I go to lunch, who I go to lunch with and where. I might have said that we are not in kindergarten

. I might have also said that even my parents do not ask me such questions so I won't allow this at work.

To sum up I wrote an email where I basically firmly questioned his authority in front of the whole team. You know my writing style. I can be respectful and still attack someone's integrity. I guess I struck a nerve because a close co-worker of him came yelling at me in the room to tell me that she has work and she does not want to read the emails. I told her in front of people in the room (like 15) that I do not allow anyone to yell me and that she could ignore the emails if she does not want to read them. Let's just say that in the end another male co-worker and my boss had to drag her physically outside of the room

.

At that point they were pretty annoyed with me because I was the first one that publicly denied the power of this guy. I made it pretty clear that if they piss me off, I have no issues talking about the love triangle. Let's just say that it would not have been good if people officially knew that my boss had something with a team member and I knew details of that relationship. It would not also be good if it was clear that the HR knew and she knew. I had proof of that as well.

On top of that I had the protection from above. So basically they had no way to fight with me. He used the performance evaluation at work to undermine me but that ended up bad because man do I hate if someone tries to talk BS. My boss then had to listen to me talk 90 minutes answering back every little thing he said. I started giving specific examples how he does not understand my project and he causes issues for me when he writes completely irrelevant emails claiming stuff that are not true. I told them that I know about meetings I should not know about. It was a meeting with the project manager where he specifically asked to have a separate team that is lead by me. Man was he pissed that I know about this and he was like you don't need to know about stuff like that. I told them that I know anyway about this but they should think is it normal to have this information from other people and not him. I also made clear for them that the project manager tells me stuff even if they do not want me to know them and in the end of they day I have this information. So I implied that I have close relationship with that guy and they can't know what we talk about because it's only between us.

For me it really is about his ego and the fact that I dared to attack him in front of anyone and I do not care about him. Especially when I knew stuff and they were not able to directly attack me or threaten me. I was actually the one that I threatened because I still could use this information to screw up the HR. I have a permission from the third person basically (she left the company year after that) to use this information however I want. This is why they have issues now with this former team member. For them to keep this under the radar they need obedient people and the two of us are not

. We not just complain, we just fight back in front of everyone and this way the team sees that it's possible and there are people that question his authority. They have issues with this. If this happens in front of the team, the others would learn to fight back as well. You know this way better than me. I even said this to the HR last week. I specifically told her that if he pisses me off, I won't hold back no matter how many people are witnessing it and this won't be good for the team. She had to just nod about it

. Given the email I wrote they know what I can do and what I can say and how I can say it.

Wow!

First off, how dare that dude question who goes to lunch with the group and who doesn’t. That is about as childish, petty, and ridiculous as it gets.

Second, just wow!

So basically you know about the affair or the triangle and that ammunition prevents them from screwing you over as well as being able to tell it like it is when you deem it appropriate, especially against the jerk that it seems everyone wants to protect.

How many people do you think know about the past office affair?

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My boss tried to include him for the negotiations with the French. Basically I was about to go in a vacation for a week and he wanted to include this guy, but this female co-worker from Germany specifically told me that he can be in the meeting if he is kept in check and he does not cause any conflicts. So I told this my boss of course and told him to talk to the jerk. He was like "Why don't you talk to him?". I told him that we do not get along, but they do so it's better this to come from him. And it's anyway just a friendly advise from me to let him know that he is watched in every meeting he participates

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He also however likes to play the victim. He would act like the big boss in front of people below him in the hierarchy, but he would lay low when there are people above him. Once he had a task that was related to my project. It was a report he had to do but he needed to know how data is organized and he did not know. So we had weekly phone calls with some French. He would act like a kid. Every time some of the French would talk he would start making those faces. I swear it was really childish and really unprofessional and weird for a guy that is almost 50 years old.

Wow! He sounds like a real tool and shame on your boss for allowing his jerky behavior.