secretk

. I think that this is where culture plays a part in it. Like you said in your country this is not normal and people know that this is not normal. So you know that whoever says it really does it on purpose and of course you would not see a point in talking to that person. You know that they really mean it. In my country this is not always the case. Sometimes people really do joke in a bad way and when I tell them that they crossed a line they apologize and do not do it again.

Agree that considering this setup it's offensive .

You noted something very important - she was OK with those things. For her this was not offensive. And that does play a part I think. For me this is where USA and Europe differ quite a lot. I am not saying who is right or wrong here. I am just saying that there is huge difference. An american woman I believe would feel quite shocked or offended in most of European offices. On the other hand European man would feel weird in American office and quite often would be WTF are they talking about.

This is definitely not OK. At least in our country. We do not have laws like you do, but definitely such behavior is not encouraged and that guy would get reprimanded at least if the woman would report him. The thing is would the woman report him? Truth to be told there are women who actually play up their sexiness at work to get what they want. And this is why sexism exists. I know women that dress sexy at work and use this to their advantage to manipulate men. It's a two ways street. If a woman puts a mini skirt at work, people would look. And I am saying this as a woman. Just like it's inappropriate to talk about sex at work, it's inappropriate to dress like that at work unless you work in that special business. Some women want to be noticed at work by their looks and not their capabilities. This matters. People focus on what you show the most about yourself. I rarely have issues with how I am treated at work because I focus on my work and not how I look. I am confident with what I do and people notice this. The compliments I get at work usually are about my work, not about my looks. Now true looks are not my best and I am just normal regular person so there is nothing to say there , but still I do not get treated like beautiful woman that got where she is because of her looks. I am treated as smart person that have enough experience. And if someone disagrees with me, it's because they just disagree with me, not because I am a woman.

Do you have regulations about this in your country? For example is it normal to have dress code or stuff like that? I am just curious because I have the impression both of those things do not exist in your office. Meaning that women dress appropriately at work and men do not cross the line, but I still wanted to check with you.

In Europe I would say that this is not always the case. I see both. I see men acting like a$$es and women trying to use their feminine side (in the most literal sense) to advance at work. Both for me are not OK. I am personally very uncomfortable with objectifying (meaning man to tell me that my butt looks good or stuff like that is something I do not like), but most women around me actually find this hot. In the case you mentioned most women here would see this as a compliment. Basically they think that it's great that someone finds them hot.

Yeah that is also something that I dislike. And I would say that this hugely depends on the environment. If you are around construction guys they act like that. At least in my country. If you are in a place like ours having men acting like that is the exception so you notice it quite fast. But then again I have seen quite often the female HR not just encouraging such conversations, but also starting them. And in that case I don't just blame the men, but also the women that encourage such conversations.

Part of the problem in Europe is that there women actually encourage sometimes wrong behavior. And this is why American women would be so out of place in Europe and feel like completely mistreated. A lot of stuff that European women find as normal are not normal for American women. And those women not just encourage men at work, they actually raise also their sons to behave like that. Dealing with sexism and racism happens in the family in the way the parents act and the way they raise their kids. And problem is that quite often people in Europe do not see the need to start the change.

Definitely inappropriate!

Makes sense .