kenni727

Regarding Bob’s comments, the man is spot on. Neither Bellamy or Clarke are in a good place right now. They each have so much to go through for themselves before they can have a truly healthy relationship. I know it seems to be the consensus but I wanted to point this out again because this is a part of why I am okay with Bellarke never becoming romantic. Sure, I’ve said it’s because what has already been developed is so well written and satisfying, and that is certainly true. But the idea that neither is truly ready for a relationship goes hand in hand with that.

Because what they already have could be ruined if they move into a relationship before either is truly ready for it. I loved this from Bob:

I believe too often we look to outside sources for validation. But that is never enough. Because at the end of the day the only person you have to live with is yourself. And if you can’t do that then it doesn’t matter what the outside world or anyone else says or does. I feel confident in assuming that we each have been affected by depression in some way - either by going through it ourselves, be it mild or severe, or possibly a loved one who has gone through it. There are moments in which others simply do not matter. Moments in which you are so consumed by sadness or hate for yourself and so you cannot see that others care and love you. And most definitely cannot love others adequately.

Now I’m not going to diagnose either Bellamy or Clarke with depression, though I do believe they each experience it to some degree from time to time along with some other elements of PTSD. I think they can each recognize that in the other which serves their ability to open up and be vulnerable with each other, but they each still have a long way to go.

And this actually ties in to something Margaux brought up that I wanted to expound upon.

This tendency of Clarke to close doors and Bellamy to open them is symbolic of where these characters are emotionally. I think at one time Clarke may have been a bit more open with her heart. But after her father died - and believing her best friend was the cause of that death - she closed herself off. Upon coming to Earth she was laser focused on just saving everyone. Then learns it was actually her mother that caused her father’s death. Ouch.

Her romantic ventures with both Finn and Lexa were problematic for her path to healing. In each case she began to open up to then be betrayed. Despite each betrayal she still cared for them. I think she could have gotten back to a place to open up to Finn, but then he went bonkers, and she killed him. This is probably why I struggled as I did believing she could then jump into something with Lexa - especially after Lexa’s betrayal as well. But I suppose she was vulnerable after Finn. I think she intended to close herself off again but found in Lexa someone she could relate to.

Clarke keeps hitting this wall each time she attempts to open up to someone. And then there is Bellamy. She’s opened up to him but has stayed away from consciously giving him her heart. I wouldn’t say that she fears that if she does he’ll end up betraying her or dying, but he’s become a constant in her life. I think in her logical mind she doesn’t want to mess with something that’s working.

Unlike Clarke, who grew up with an open heart and has now closed it, Bellamy grew up having to keep closed but since coming to Earth has been able to allow his open nature to come forth. Bellamy is ruled by his heart. And he lays his heart on the line and doesn’t fear letting people in.

But he’s still damaged. And though he’s opened himself to others he’s not relying on them for his validation. He’s been through and done enough to know that at the end of the day he’s the one to live with his choices - be they good or bad. And he still struggles with his choices. He’s still learning. He’s learning to move on from his poor choices and not let them bog him down. He’s learning to take the affirmations others provide and allow it to buoy him, but not rely on it.

They’re both learning how to live with themselves and the choices they’ve had to make. They each need to find that balance of loving themselves. allowing others to love them, and providing that love for another before they can be in a place to really be in a healthy relationship with each other.