Belle, I love your post!
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I also think that Bellamy did not stop Octavia, because he knows that violence is a way for her to unleash anger. Her coping mechanism - her outlet. He's put his body on the line more than once for the people he cares about, and that's what he's doing again, though this time for Octavia.
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I couldn't agree more!
Also what you said about abuse vs assault is great!