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Lucas
Lucas couldn’t even begin to imagine what this felt like, probably because his life was less a series of regrets and more a series of open-ended what-ifs. He was never the one to walk away, instead the one who was always left behind. It was an equally shitty feeling, to be sure. He imagined they could have sat their all night going back and forth, debating over who felt shittier of the two. Lucas was pretty sure he could win that debate if he really wanted to. He had mastered the art of self-deprecation. He could throw as good a pity party as the next person. Could the same be said of Noelle? He could not truly say, not knowing quite yet how the years had changed her. The Noelle of old could roll with the punches with the best of them but would eventually grow tired of the game in the end. He wondered if the girl poised on the edge of his bookshelf/staircase, legs swinging idly in the empty space below her, had the same fortitude.
There was definitely some of the Noelle Stratford of old left in her evidenced in the fact that she managed to find a loophole in his attempt to keep her as closed off from him as possible. Lucas took a generous sip of his wine before tipping his head in her direction as if to say touché. You will not ask me about my life post-high school or what I am presently doing in New York City had not been amongst the conditions he listed for her and thus it was time for him to fess up.
“I’m a grad student at NYU, studying the Classics.” Why he should emphasize his choice of study at that particular moment, he couldn’t be sure. Maybe it was the wine messing up his head. “And I have students to boot!” He could not help but chuckle at the absurdity of it all. The teaching, the tailored blazer he presently wore which may or may not have been her influence all along, the wine. Oh, no, no, no … he hadn’t missed her quip regarding his new beverage of choice. He imagined it must have been quite surprising for her, seeing as how he had once abhorred alcohol. Probably because it made people do stupid things. Exhibit A: inviting Noelle Stratford up to his loft. Exhibit B: inviting Noelle Stratford to share in his booze. Those two things were a recipe for regret and disaster.
“I have all the wonderful women I have encountered in life to thank for the wine,” he offered as explanation to a question that was not technically posed to him. Lucas smiled bitterly at her, tipping the bottle in his hand to fill his quickly emptying glass back up to its rim. She was looking at him with a queer expression and it took him several more seconds to realize that she must still be stuck on the whole ‘grad student at NYU’ thing. Oh that’s right, probably because he forgot to mention that fact to her earlier when she had explained what it was she was doing in New York to begin with herself. “It would appear that avoiding one another might be more difficult that you originally assumed.”
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Woman? Is that meant to insult me? I would return the slap, if I took you for a man.
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