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She's been acting more and more like Ellis this season, imo. Of course we don't know what Ellis was like with her friends or if she had any. She had a soft spot for Richard, we do know, and Mer has a soft spot for Derek. There are obvious differences between Mer and her mom -- Mer didn't notice her streak nor really care about it. She wanted to share that joy with her husband. Still, it's my belief that Ellis used work as her crutch to get over Richard. She ignored Meredith because she was a constant reminder of everything she'd lost and maybe blamed Mer for some of it {"He didn't want a child"} Ellis thought Richard didn't want kids, based her her statements in early seasons.
I don't believe for a second that Ellis was always cold. Losing Richard made her cold. Losing Derek would make Meredith cold, too.
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