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I need to find the article he said this in but I saved a quote from Tom Cullen. I think someone asked about the intellectual challenge thing and he have a really good--and true--response, “I think that actually Mary and Gillingham are well suited in that they’re people that are actually incredibly warm and loving and they want to build a better world, which isn’t necessarily an intellectual thing. It feels more of a compassionate thing.” Now I don't want Mary and Gillingham together but I agree. He shows an understanding of her character in saying she doesn't have to argue back and forth with someone to be happy. I mean, everyone keeps citing "Matthew challenges her Matthew challenges her" but ..she doesn't necessarily want exactly what she had with Matthew. There are different ways to challenge a person than making them question everything they think about the world ( unnecessarily I might add ), and that is not what she wants if she's consciously choosing to be with Gillingham over Blake. He was butt hurt over it and saw fit to say she was dumbing herself down for a man. That's in essence what he said.
Viewers might want that kind of dynamic because it's hard to let go, but she's never going to have that again in the exact same way because a) that's boring and b) she obviously doesn't want that.
Edit: it's from here: Downton Abbey Series 5 Spoilers: Who will Lady Mary pick to be her husband? Julian Ovenden &Tom Cullen spill… | Unreality TV |
Incredibly warm and loving? I don't think I've ever seen that said of Mary. Yes, that she has a warm and loving side but not that she is exceptionally so. More that she comes across as cold and self-centered (which she is in many ways and has demonstrated in her actions) but she also can be warm and loving with those to whom she is close.
As for wanting to build a better world? I don't see that either. To better things for her own family and again her own circle, but not the world at large. Sybil was the one who was interested in the outside world, in making social progress, committing herself to helpful work, etc.
I don't get this impression of either Mary or Tony and I can't think of examples. Except that when Mary talked to Jack she said that "in a better world" she would not want or expect Jack to give up Rose. So sure, she'd
like the world to be better but wouldn't we all? It isn't her priority and she doesn't discuss it or commit her time to it as far as I can tell.
And Tony? What has he done to better the world? Frankly, Tom Cullen has said some things about his character that seem like head canon to me. He has said that Tony doesn't expect things to come to him, that he wants to work for his living. Really? Then why doesn't he do it? He doesn't have a job and we never seen him working. I am not saying he feels entitled but on the other hand neither does he work hard. I've never seen him work at all, whereas Matthew, Blake and Evelyn all did or do.
He also said Tony is humble and I do agree with that. Except for thinking he is great in bed, apparently.