HarshBench

I thought she was very rude EXCEPT for when she said that the war had been too costly in both lives and money. And Tom agreed with her, because there was a very strong argument to be made for that view. Again, history has confirmed it and even in 1924 it was a widely held one. The new PM, Ramsay MacDonald, had said: "War is not murder, it is suicide." And in the case of WWI, it was.

What happened was she set Robert off by how she talked about the memorial, then when the subject turned to the war itself (and Tom supported her position) he couldn't change course. He was already angry.

My biggest problem was that he shut down Tom's (very valid) opinion even though Tom had not been rude at all. And he said Tom had to "answer for" his guest, making him guilty by association just because he agreed with her about the war (not the memorial). Not to mention had assumed that he had fooled around with her at the house even though Tom had explained to him exactly what happened.

Tom didn't invite Sarah to the dinner and Robert knew that. She wasn't HIS guest. But it wasn't wrong for Tom to support her at least as far as he DID agree with her. I bet Tom gets sick and tired of sitting at that table feeling like he can't express his views without getting snide remarks or looks from Robert, Violet and even Carson. He wasn't "endorsing" her rudeness. The important thing was that he spoke firmly but diplomatically. HE wasn't rude so he should not have been accused in such a way.

Robert was very unfair to Tom and didn't behave as "gentlemen" were supposed to behave. That wasn't proper etiquette: you're supposed to maintain composure even when someone else is being difficult. Otherwise, you're no better than she is.