No, it was because everyone around us was just making it really uncomfortable and I was in a really awkward phase of my life on top of that. The disabled kids who are transitioning from living at home were all being taken care of by the dorm staff, which was mostly middle-aged men and a few women. He had been in the program the previous year – not for physical stuff, but for helping with transportation and academic assistance because he couldn't walk very well from having childhood cancer. Meaning that they all knew him, and when the ladies started suspecting that he had a crush on me, they wouldn't stop teasing me about it. I hate it when adults do that. I had this idea that I was going to move away and become an adult and everything was going wrong, and on top of everything, my one romantic opportunity allegedly was being treated like two elementary school kids being pressured by their parents.
I was mortified by the teasing and also disgusted that they thought it would be cute to infantilize us, so that totally killed any curiosity I had to pursue it in the first place.
If everyone hadn't been breathing down our necks and he wasn't so awkward about everything, I probably would have at least tried to make out with him.
no one had been interested in me to my knowledge for years, so that aspect was exciting. In reality though, it's probably better worked out the way it did, because I was never genuinely interested and more curious because of the lack of options and experience.