Hopefully what Candice says is on the money. She really needs to find out about Barry being The Flash in the first season because while it made sense with Lois to not know right away, they had just met and getting to know each other that first season, Iris has known and lived with Barry for huge chunk of her life. Their each others best friends it would be hard press to believe she wouldn't know it's him. Depending on how many scenes she has with the Flash, if she gets a lot of scenes, I would hope that she would know by mid-season. Agree, I hope they built up to it and that the aftermath/fall out is written well. It could easily go either way of being too easy/letting it slide or having her be too angry/holding on to her hurt too long about not being told. There's a fine balance that needs to played here.

I wouldn't say that Barry looking at Iris because he can't have her, but because he loves her.