okay I can understand where he is coming from now, I grew up in a strict military family, everything always done in a very specific way... and as soon I was out on my own,out came the rebellious nature of leaving a dish in the sink,clothes on the floor, brush on the counter..etc... but you eventually realize you can't keep doing that and go back... when my nieces came along it was the same for my sister, she vowed shed be more lax and not put so much what we saw as pressure on her kids.... that didn't last long, she had a first class brat on her hands...
is it possible to get a babysitter for an evening or afternoon and get away from the house to have a very open heart to heart with your husband to let him know in a non confrontational way that he's hurting you by not backing/helping you? Sometimes men dont realize how much pressure is on their other half and need a gentle reality check.
or maybe go on strike, take a day just for you,leave him with the kids, grab a girlfriend and let him deal with the house and kids for while with no back up...
I dont think there is an easy snap of the fingers fix.
but don't give up
