Oh gotcha ya... I know it's not a laughing matter, but my first thought reading that was no desert for him either if he won't follow the rules, ...lead by example kind of thing
but it actually kind of makes sense... Maybe not exactly that...but you know.
Kids are smart they get the whole divide and conquer thing pretty early on. If he's afraid of being seen as mean, the alternative is much worse kids who won't listen to him at all later on... Has he given you an exact reason why he's soft beside not liking yhe begging? like maybe he was brought up very strict?