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Stuff like having Elena laugh off Damon's abuse of Caroline in season one and having her forgive Damon for killing her brother etc is what annoys me when she's supposed to be the compassionate female protagonist of the show. But then again that has to happen in order for the triangle to happen, which is why it destroys Elena's character.
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They use Elena's compassion as an excuse for her to accept whatever horrible things the Salvatores do. Yet some how that compassion doesn't seem to extend to Katherine or Rebekah who have both killed less people in her life than Damon.