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It had been building like 6 years and that's why when it finally exploded that they brought down the house. 
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The fact that they knew each other for so long and had such animosity and sparring and back talk with each other....it definitely must've increased the intensity and erotic nature of the sex.
It wasn't just that he was having sex with someone, he was having sex with BUFFY. It wasn't just that she was having sex with someone, she was having sex with SPIKE.
All of their previous physical battles and verbal fights and annoyances and undeniable pull and buried lust went into that union. I'm surprised that they didn't break each other along with the house!